Do my actions deserve this kind of feedback...

Lately it's been going around school that I'm a slut.
I know I've messed up before, and made a lot of mistakes with guys, but I don't think this makes me a slut...and I am working to make myself a better person... a lot of the times I just find it hard to say no to guys because I feel like they expect sex from me and I don't want to be a disappointment, you know...
it's gotten a lot worse in the past week after I hung out with this one guy, Pedro...
I went over to his place and we starting kissing and stuff, but I had already told him beforehand that I wasn't going to have sex with him, and I reminded him again when he started asking for it and trying to get my panties off...
but he kept trying to have sex with me, like he wouldn't get off me even when I said no...
finally he got it in and started fucking me so I slapped him across the face and he chilled out...
I was really proud of myself for stopping him because usually I'm not good at that, as I mentioned before. but this time I made a decision and stuck with it even though I really wanted to just do it with him and get it over with you know.

but now it's gone around the school, well mostly a large group of his and a couple of my friends, that I had sex with him.
Pedro says he didn't tell anybody, but my friend, Juan, who I haven't know thatt long but is pretty trustworthy, told me that this guy, Pedro, texted one of Juan's friends telling him that he was gonnafuck me.
And now random guys at school are coming up to me asking to hook up and calling me trying to get with me and it's really pissing me off.

Last night I was on the phone with my ex who I called to apologize to because earlier I had blamed him for what Pedro did to me because it was my ex who gave Pedro my number.
Anyway, I was talking to him, and he was with a few friends including Pedro and this guy Seymour who used to try to get with me, and they're all really fucked up high.
Basically, this is how the conversation went:
Julio wanted to fuck around with me again (recently we had hooked up because I thought he wanted me back but he didn't and I ended up getting hurt again..)
Pedro wanted to hang out again and fuck
then they decided that the three of us should have a threesome and started asking me to skip on monday
in the background Seymour is yelling that I'm a slut and a whore and a bitch and trying to get me to fuck him at the same time
Pedro offers me $200 for sex
then it got really fucked up...
Julio starts accusing me of cheating on him while we were dating and says that's why he cheated on me.
he said he cheated on me with one of my friends and starts talking about how good her pussy was and shit
I start crying because I never cheated on him and I didn't want him to think that I did and I told him that I really did care about him.
then everyone starts laughing at me and telling me its a joke and he knows I didn't cheat on him and now he's saying he didn't really cheat on me at all, but I think he did because one of my friends told me he did awhile ago.
then I find out he has a new girlfriend and he keeps saying how much he cares about her and how he never cared about anyone before her, including me. (even though he was just trying to cheat on her with me)


its really fucked up.
I don't even remember anything else that was said the rest of the night cause I took a bunch of triple c's and was totally out of it, I don't even remember if I agreed to hang out with Pedro tomorrow or not cause he was trying to fuck me tomorrow.


this morning, I texted my ex asking him if he ever cared about me while we were dating and he text back "idk" so I told him not to talk to me or try to hang out with me again until he figures it out, and he was like "ok dats fine"

I'm really upset about my ex because a couple weeks ago he starting texting me even though we had hardly talked since we broke up last november.. then we hung out, and even though I didn't really want to have sex with him because I didn't want him to hurt me again, I did anyway because I thought he cared about me.. but I guess not.
we started going out again the day we hung out and broke up later that day when I confronted him about cheating last time and asked if he even wanted to be my boyfriend..



ha to add a bit of humor, when I was talking to my friend about this, she was like "Taylor, did you have your shirt on when you asked him out?" and I was like "...oops"


but like damn
everyone thinks I'm some kind of whore now
I know my real friends won't believe it
but it's hard not to care what other people think when you have guys trying to get with you because they think you're a slut and no nice guys talking to you because they don't want a slut.

 

Of course they don't.

People can be so fucking judgmental...I know it's hard, but try to ignore anyone who doesn't know you properly yet still decides to bitch about you. They really aren't worth your hassle.

And I salute you for turning down that guy, it can't have been easy. You seem like a great person and you don't deserve to be treated the way you're being treated right now. Karma will get the haters in the end.

I wish peace, love and happiness your way. eace:

 

no this does not make you a slut if anything it makes pedro an attempted rapist. Have self respect and only be with those that treat you like you are the world. If they do not then they are not worth your time and not even worth knowing.

ps
LovePeaceMusic love the picture in your sig

 

TheWhiteOne is right, it does make him an attempted rapist and it's totally horriblre that he forced himself on you. If anyone, HE should be the one with the bad reputation, not you.

Awww, thanks WhiteOne. It's amazing what a girl can do with an eyeliner pencil when bored.

 

Thanks for the feedback LovePeaceMusic and TheWhiteOne216..
the thing is, that I don't think fair to withhold, is that I've definitely done slutty things and acted like a slut in the past, but I'm really working hard to change and then when something like this happens, it's really discouraging.
Like I've slept with guys I didn't know well, I've sent dirty pics and stuff, but most of this stuff shouldn't even be known to all these kids who call me a slut cause it's not like I advertise it openly, you know..

And yeahh I guess a lot of these people really aren't worth my time but it still hurts to be thought of that way..

 

Its secondary school. Get used to it, 70% of the people are cunts and will find something to judge you with. If you know who your friends are then thats all that counts. Everyone else can jog the fuck on. Id say get some new friends by the sound of it too...attempted rape and the general way they act towards you sounds well out of order.

 

15 is kinda young age to be having sex. I didn't loose my virginity till I was 17 and I had been with the guy for a while. But that Padro dude is a dick, thats rape. You said no and he stuck it in anyways, I would have kicked him in the nuts! Keep standing your ground, if you don't want to it's your body, you don't have to.

 

15 is really young to be having sex. Don't let anyone pressure you into it. Also it doesn't make you a slut to have sex. I'd file charges on Pedro though.

 

Can I just say: who gives a fuck about high school? I swear to go kids care way too much about high school drama.

That's all I'm gonna say, now back to lurking.

 

LovePeaceMusic no problem....


kids are evil beings they look and pick out whatever they can about anyone just so attention is not brought to them. Besides they will all eventual do the things that you have already done if they have not done them already.... Everybody likes sex and wants to explore it at some point in time even if its with multiple partners just make sure your practice safe sex.

 

I think everyone does honey. I'm fourteen and I'm not the angel everyone tends to think I am. Nobody's perfect and most people end up giving into hormones and such at some point in their lives. Also, contrary to some of the other replies, I don't think 15 is too young for sex providing you're safe, ready, and know what you're doing.

This Pedro dude sounds way dodgy though, I'd have played holy hell if a lad had done that to me after I'd refused. Definitely not good.

 

Don't be to concentrated on sex and boys especially at this age and during high school.
Stop calling those guys,all of them sound very nasty and disrespectful. You need to be respected. If you really want to make some changes you need to start with yourself and not be so focused on situations like this. Focus on what really counts which are your studies,you,good trustworthy friends,and making a real sense of all this crap you got yourself into.
Good luck.

 

and what do you think a slut is?

but you let him take your panties off and stick it in before doing something about it? i don't know, but i'm skeptical.

well you did...

nice guys want to have sex too. unfortunately, they're probably the only ones that you won't be afraid to turn down, since they'll likely be nice to you anyway.

 

The question is not whether you are a slut. The question is who is in charge of your body, you or a bunch of assholes who are trying to pressure you into sex. These guys, at least some of them, sound like either rapists or potential rapists. Stay away from them! If you say "no" and some dude keeps trying to talk you into sex, realize that the guy does not care about you and stop the conversation right there, don't keep trying to justify your choice. Who you have sex with is your choice, and it is up to you to set boundaries around how you are to be treated.

 

agreed

 

Do any teenagers know what they are doing?

 

very true i know i did not........

 

I'd say I know perfectly well what I'm doing.

 

Highschool is a pretty unique social situation and after they leave, people tend to forget how all-encompassing it can be. You are in a tough situation. If it really gets you down, and it might, try to keep in mind that it is just temporary. This will probably blow over in a few weeks, and a few sexual mistakes will be a non-issue in a couple of years.

 

Your biggest problem isn't that you want to please these guys, it's that you hang out with these guys in the first place.

If you know you get pressured easily, avoid the situation altogether.
Then, you can work on finding out why you are nicer to them, than you are to you.