Do gentlemen still exist?...

The ones who want to treat their wives or girlfriends like goddesses...wholl hold doors open and speak to them gently and buy them gifts at regular intervals...wholl spend their money and time...wholl appreciate the romance and the "i love you"s....do these men still exist?

 

yes but usually there is something wrong with them......

 

yes he looks like this an makes 100 grand a year..

 

I still do all that stuff and more. I think Men need to be providers. No matter what the current flavor is of the month or latest study finding is.
It goes back to when we were in Caves and hunted for our tribes. The Men went out and provided the meat and foods while they also provided the cave or home.
Most guys today can't do either and wonder why Women seek other men for the same.

 

.....I have that shirt......

 

yes.
but then i start hating them..
GOD, just let me open my own door for once!!
arrrrgggggg

 

i somewhat dissagree..

most men nowadays provide on a mutual level,,..

the whole puttin a female on a pedastal as was the basic point of this thread,, is not yer average stable relationship in this world..

if thats the only way you can make yers work,, well what works fer you is cool..

However,, i think intellegent and strong women of today would be offended by being pampered overley..

of course i live in a diffrent world than you...

 

Wow, youve got it so right. I want a man who is capable of being a strong supporter and provider without feeling the need to be unbearably arrogant and obnoxious about it. Of course im capable of providing for myself...but sometimes its just NICE to act out this kind of relationship...one with respect and gentleness and consideration.
I want a man who can be strong in the face of trouble but can also talk to me as an equal, have interesting conversations with me like he would a friend. And in response, i would be a lady. He would get respect back, unexpected gifts, politeness and surprises...aw its makin me feel all wistful and longing ill shush now.

Xx

 

I completely understand your point of view too. I agree that relationships should be equal. But really, this thread wasnt so much about putting the woman on a pedestal so much as a longing for a little more respect from men. Im sure women are becoming less respectful to their partners, too...but of course i dont notice this. Its much more noticable among men.

I just feel that little token gestures like door-opening can brighten any relationship. I dont see how it is patronising...i see it as a symbol of respect, love and kindness. Id like to see more of these things.

Xx

 

your 17,,, of course the guys your attracted to are scum..

youll grow, whether they do or not...

 

guys like this one?

 

Many of the rest of us, assholes if you will, decided if we're too nice we never get a damn second to ourselves.

Of course I'm much more understanding then most guys. My solution is to just throw her jaket in a puddle every now and then.

If you don't stand up to women they'll walk all over ya.

 

Who said the men i was attracted to were scum!? Oh no no no...you see this is exactly the problem, and this reason i started the thread...

Im NOT attracted to these "scummy" men. I WANT a gentleman...whats worse is, i EXPECT one. I expect to be a lady in a relationship, and expect a gentleman. The only problem is they seem to be a little scarce...

Xx

 

man, where's Irongoth when you need him?

I want someone who respects me for who I am. Someone who can stand up for themselves (because yeah, I will walk all over someone who can't and then toss them to the curb... I can't stand spineless guys, not to date anyways)

I don't want someon who feels like he needs to buy me shit at regular intervals. Or is going to deprive himself of things just to buy me some flowers. Yes, I love getting flowers but there are a thousand other ways to show affection. I don't want to be put on a pedestal because inevitably I will fall

 

You rang?

RE: Wow, youve got it so right. I want a man who is capable of being a strong supporter and provider without feeling the need to be unbearably arrogant and obnoxious about it.

Translation:

Give me your money and wait on me hand and foot, but make me still feel like I'm independant and don't give me any attitude.

Politeness is one thing. But that whole pedastal-constant gift crap comes with the other side of the sword, which is typically neediness, jealousy and possessiveness.

I think the closest thing to what you truly want is Heron, but he's taken. Not sure how well he cleans up to go to the theatre, mind... but I could be wrong!

Start with a guy like Heron - erase the tattoos, cut the hear, drop the modern primitive thing, get him to find a six figure job and a place in the city and give him every cinematic version of the Bronte sisters' work and you'll be set.

 

But isnt being strong all about recognising that others have qualities that we dont have? Like for men respecting women because theyre different and us respecting men in return? I find the truly "spineless" guys are the ones who jus will not admit that they respect women...that they are perhaps weaker than them in some areas and, most of all, that they really truly love them. These things can be shown through gifts, affection, and the token gestures i mentioned.
Truly strong men give the most respect i think.

Xx

 

This was never about "constant" gift-giving and pedestals. Its about respect for your partners...which ive noticed has been lacking lately. Thats all. Theres absolutely no harm in gestures of respect. It can be beautiful

Xx

 

RE: But isnt being strong all about recognising that others have qualities that we dont have?

Sure. What does this have to do with buying you stuff?

RE: Like for men respecting women because theyre different and us respecting men in return?

Respect for men went out in the 50s.

RE: I find the truly "spineless" guys are the ones who jus will not admit that they respect women...that they are perhaps weaker than them in some areas and, most of all, that they really truly love them. These things can be shown through gifts, affection, and the token gestures i mentioned.

Wow. So how much do I have to spend to prove to you I respect the fact that you have a double X chromosome? $50? $100?

 

Truly strong men won't put up with the 'buy me things regularly' attitude, because they know they can find someone who doesn't demand physical objects as a symbol of love

 

What she just said.