Dirty Lymeric

There once was a girl from Whealing
Who had a peculiar feeling
She lay on her back
And opened her crack
And peed all over the ceiling

 

Magnificent.

 

Moar.

 

lul

 

there once was a guy named trekker
he can post a thread with his pecker
he pushes on keys
he does it with ease
but dont challenge him to a game of checkers

 

lol

 

LOL Brilliant!!!!!!! More!!!!!!!

Hey Diddle, Diddle.
The cat played with his fiddle
while the cow was busy licking poon.
The little dog laughed to see so much porn
and the dish was busy humping the spoon.

 

and all over her face

that's hot

 

fuck yeah pirate bitches

 

There once was a man from Nantucket
who's wang was so long he could suck it.
He'd say with a grin as he wiped of his chin,
If my ear weren't small I could f*ck it.

 

There was an old woman from Worcester
Who dreamed Marlon Brando sedorcester.
She woke up to find
It was all in her mind;
Just a lump in the mattress that gorcester.

 

This is from the Bill Clinton Monic Lewinsky era..An alternative publication held contest challenging their readers to write limerics with the names Monica Lewinsky and Ted Kazinsky (aka Unabomber)

Here are the winners:

Said Bill to Ms. Lewinsky,
lets not leave clues like Kazinsky
So when I make mess
use the hem of your dress
to wipe the First Jizz from your chinsky.

There once was girl name Lewinsky,
who could play the flute like Stravinsky.
On a flute made of beef,
she played Hail to the Chief
While Bill blew up like Kazinsky.

 

there once was a guy that was me
i'm posting but i have to pee
if i can finish this rhyme
and get there in time
the relief would surely...........damn

 

^hahaha

 

you all know the guy named pete
they say he never eats meat
he is covered in dreads
and always needs meds
and has blisters all over his feet


i covered vegans,dreadies,med heads and barefooters in one fell swoop...boom

 

There once was a fellow McSweeny
Who spilled some gin on his weenie
Just to be couth
He added vermouth
Then slipped his girlfriend a martini

 

There once was a fellow from kent
whose dick was so long that it bent
he ran into trouble when he stuck it in double
for instead of coming he went.

 

Here I sit
Broken hearted
Tried to shit
But only farted


---------------------------


There was a young lady called Dawn
Who wished she had never been born.
She wouldn't have been
If her father had seen
That the end of his rubber was torn.

 

the first time that i heard this i was carrying my dads bags and you were still IN your dads bag

 

I love them:smilielol5:keep them coming