Hello !! I have stumbled upon this website and have read some posts and I really think this is the place I would feel comfortable talking about my dilemma. I have been dating two men who don't know about each other. One is married but he is in the process of separating from his wife and I was not the reason. They were separating before we met and her and I have become friends. I enjoy T and the time we spend together but the sex is very ...boring . For someone who has been married for 18 yrs sure does not know nothing about pleasing a woman. And I don't want to say anything because he is really insecure about things. Now J is not married and has all the time to spend with me and the man has been the one to show me exactly what good sex is. I never experienced sex the way I experience it with J. Its awesome. The downfall he is bipolar and has mood swings like crazy. I have asked him to please go see about getting some meds but he wont. Our relationship is so up and down and we have only been together for two months..J is not really attractive like T is...I know this sounds shallow. I just have no idea who to chose because I can't keep seeing both of them.
I don't have alot of advise for you, because I have never played two people at once! I would guess if they ever find out about each other the guy coming out of the marriage that is insecure will probably move on to someone he could trust more and the other guy with the mood swings would probably either come after you or the other guy. Either way I don't think you would have to worry about which one to choose anymore, because they would both be gone.
To me this sounds like "I don't know which car I should buy. They're both shitty and not really what I want, but I gotta pick one as it's all I can afford. What should I do?" Unfortunately, I have no advice for you. This is like picking the lesser of 2 evils. Damned if you do and damned if you don't. If it were me and I had to choose between a lousy lay who's married and a bi-polar ugly chick, I'd probably just shoot myself. Perhaps flip a coin??
they are both people blue.not things!i feel sorry for both guys.of course mr T is feeling insecure.he is in the middle of a seperation with his wife of 18yrs.that can't be easy for him.but i'd be even more concerned bout mr J, cos a both men not knowing bout each other,cos if mr J has feelings for you it will hit him a lot harder with his bipolar if he finds out bout mr T from an outside party.an mr J is probably more emotionally vunerable at the moment to in the middle of seperating from his wife.both men seem ta have enough ta cope with already.i think the best thing you could be is ta be a good friend ta both of them.otherwise someones goin' ta get really hurt.cos everyone has feelings. welcome blue :daisy:
I have nothing against people with bi-polar but the fact that he's not taking his meds which is clearly needed for his and your general safety then I'd call it off with him. Neither seem like healthy relationships. I'd cool the romances before more drama starts.
It's a very difficult situation indeed. I think that you need to do something and soon, it is not fair on anyone to be seeing them both. In the end only you can make the choice, but remeber this. A relationship with a person with any kind of mental health problem will always be hard. It sounds like you get on very well with the other guy apart from the sex. If he is a good man and you fall in love, I think that the sex will get vey much better, and the whole relationship will be better.
This whole situation indeed is difficult. I have come clean to J about seeing someone else and he took it very well. He still wants to see me. He has not told me to break it off with T. He was hurt and mad but he says he wants to work through this. I have been through so much this year with my mom dying and I feel this giant hole in my life and I have used both of them to fill it but I do care about both of them. T is married and has said they dont plan on divorcing anytime soon and they still live together but sleep separately, they had alot of cheating issues. T was cheater and I still think at times he is not capable of being in a real relationship. My trust in him is not really good, every time I try to trust him I have this nagging feeling in the back of me . It is ironic because I am cheating on him but don't really feel that way because ..he is technically still married. I may be the one who is not capable of being in a relationship. I don't really know. I enjoy being with J and the sex is crazy wonderful.
There's 6 billion people on the planet and your only options are these two? Enjoy yourself with both of them untill you find whats gonna make you happy long term.
Most men I come across all have issues. Finding anyone normal today seems impossible. Plus I work extremely long hours and dont have alot of free time I guess to explore other options.
