Departure.

Discussion in 'Poetry' started by innocentpoison333, Jun 15, 2005.

  1. innocentpoison333

    innocentpoison333 Member

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    There she lies upon her bed
    Look closer and do not dread
    Her face pale her eyes swollen
    All she has ever owned is now stolen

    Her grasp on reality is very weak
    She mumbles when trying to speak
    Consumed by doubt and lost in fear
    This girl is something rare

    Trapped by memories of a ruined life
    She lays in bed clutching a knife
    Torn between staying or going
    She lays here knowing

    That to go on living this life
    Twould be a lie
    She has nothing to live for
    But is frightened to die

    Her body rapidly quakes
    As her control slowly breaks
    Naked and not afraid
    Now she knows her choice is made

    She stands slowly
    Rising from her daze
    Moving to the window
    Her eyebrow slightly raised

    Looking out the window
    Swaying to and fro
    Looking down at the water
    She knows its her time to go
     
  2. joker

    joker Senior Member

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    that was beautiful. it reminds me of suicide. i've felt that way for years. i just loath death to much to committ the act.
     
  3. TrippinBTM

    TrippinBTM Ramblin' Man

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    Dark but pretty good. I'd suggest, though, that you work on your rhyming. It was pretty erratic, changed a lot. That makes me focus on the rhymes instead of the content.
     
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