Dealing with someone you don't get along with while another person (who's unaware) is also present!

So I'm talking about the sort of situation you have to deal with a person you don't like (usually work) and you have developed methods of how to deal with this person when you're one on one with them. But then you unexpectedly find yourself with them when there's another person present who isn't aware that you two don't get along, and you're a little thrown as to how to act. If this ever happened to anyone here, I'd love to hear about it.

I remember a few years back when this happened on a job. I was in the office with a guy I was "on talking terms" with (Peter), and this dude (John) that I didn't get along with entered. Something came up about politics, and we all got involved in the convo in a way that seemed like we all got along. However, there still would have been less dialogue between me and John though! After a few minutes when it was time for John to go, when he left the room he only said goodbye only to Peter... addressing him by name in doing so. I was thinking if I'd been the one leaving I'd have just said goodbye to both people, even though I'd know John wouldn't have responded. However I'd do it because Peter would probably notice and think I'm petty.

At my present job there's a guy who won't talk to me. Last month we were both in the break room in silence until another person entered. We both engaged with this person without engaging with each other for about 15 minutes. This other guy's mind seemed to be totally on the topics at hand, and it was as if he didn't pick up on the fact we hadn't talked to each other! It happened yesterday again that I was with this dude on break... a lady enters and begins talking to both of us, until she gets distracted by how wonderful my sandwich was! She stopped mid sentence while talking to him, saying "isn't that a wonderful sandwich". The dude was facing 90 degrees to me. Out of pettiness he didn't look! She then said it again! He was probably thinking "forget about his bloody sandwich, how much longer do I've to resist turning to look?". Now what if she said "is it just me, or are ye guys not talking to each other"! I don't know if I'd be quick enough to come up with graceful of dealing with that?

Another one most recently at work. I'm a bus driver and I deal with this bossy female ticket scanner in the mornings at the first stop. This day I'd heard another driver come over (near my bus) to this lady and told her about how he'd seen another colleague driver who'd broken down on the route. While I was waiting for passengers to board I happened to step out and said I'd ask "did so and so break down?" while looking at both of them. She didn't answer (being a bitch) and for some reason he didn't answer either. I think the silence caused her confidence to grow and she instinctively needed to do something bitchy. She stepped back from me and made some sort of facial expression as if to imply that I shouldn't be saying that when there are passengers in hear shot! Weird. I should have directed that question at him using his name, and not her.

Thanks for reading

 

I think I was just extremely unlucky with this company. They have this out-based depot where I'm based. The other drivers on my route start from the capitol city (where the company is based), at the opposite end of the route.

There used to only be drivers who were hired by the company from where I'm based (at the other end of the route), with the exemption of a ticket scanner employee who earned €14.hr and worked 4 days a week. The ticket scanner wasn't really essential for boarding passengers. But about 2 yrs ago they hired this bossy little bleach blonde english lady and she basically became a glorified ticket scanner and rat. She's constantly on the phone to management.in the capitol. After about 8 months some psycho manager (think JD Vance) who's never driven a bus, made her supervisor of our entire base. I was new around that time and she really used that to hear advantage as much as she could. One day a passenger said "I hope she's not your boss". She'd be taking cash fares on the bus under my login while I was outside the bus dealing with luggage. I told her I wasn't comfortable with that and she didn't react well. She said "u know what u'll do... get onto to management about it". I did and they took my side. But later she that I was running to the union like it was mammy, like a baby"... even though she dared me to.

You'd take one look at her and you'd think she'd be a hair dresser or something like that. I have to look at her in the mornings for about 10 minutes. Horrible way to kick off the day. The things that are supposed to be difficult about the job are the driving and dealing with passengers. As a result I think I have been underestimating those aspects.

She moulds herself to different people... for example the union rep thinks she's great. A few other people are able to see through her though, which is refreshing to hear. There's another guy now who's new and is thinking about complaining her. When I see him again I'll have some tips! I'm looking to go back to the bus company I left at the moment

 

If you keep running into people like that, maybe time to look in the mirror? No offense intended.

Too bad we can't choose our coworkers or neighbors or parents for that matter.

I suppose with all the political extremism going around it's almost impossible to discuss politics in a mixed crowd, especially at work.

 

You seem to not get along with a lot of people. I myself am at odds with most people I come into contact with in that I have little in common with them or their values. I find it helps to keep quiet and just do your job. After all, you're not there to make friends. When you say as little as possible, except when necessary, you will find that people tend to leave you alone. I don't care for most of the people I have to work with, but I just keep to myself and deal with it. If people say or do something to intentionally wrong me, I will confront them swiftly. Otherwise, people can think what they want. If they don't like me, I honestly could not care less. I don't need the validation of others, just don't fuck with me.