about two and a half weeks ago, my rabbit died, I had to be "normal" for everyone else, and I just collapsed alone in my room. and started sobbing, she was getting healthier, she was drinking her V8, and eating her spinach, and she died. it really hurt my nephew, and me, and the whole family, and seeing my family sad, and being sad myself, and, just, everything going wrong, was just. it was hard. and I cried.
last time i remember, kindergarten or first grade. i forgot my lunchbox on the school bus. really not sure why it upset me so much; school lunches sucked but not THAT much...
I think it's been a little bit actually. I cry pretty regularly, so it's hard to remember, lol. But the last time I can remember me and Daniel had been arguing and I took a long walk with Zephyr, but he's got little puppy legs and I didn't want to wear him out, so I brought him back, even though I wasn't finished with my alone time. I decided to go back out again with my MP3 player and shoes instead of sandals because it was getting darker and chillier out and Daniel wouldn't let me go because I guess he thought I was going to leave for good. Anyway, I had all this anger and hurt pent up inside of me and I was just seething and sat outside for awhile, no tears, just mad for a good while, then I came back inside and wasn't speaking to Daniel, playing a computer game, and he came up to me to tell me he was sorry and as soon as he hugged me and told me he was sorry he was an asshole, I just fell apart. It was weird.
I hate crying, I've been trying to hide it all day at work, but it's like every fives seconds I keep breaking down again.
I have been coming in contact with my feeling after deadening them for many years..you know, being a man..so, I have cried, it don't come easy and I don't try and stop it..
A few nights ago. I sobbed my little heart out, something I haven't done in a looooong time. Partly the fault of some massive PMS hormone fluctuating I've had going on. I cried a little while ago in fact. Not a heart wrenching cry, more of a I feel overwhelmed and I'm tired of being ignored kind of cry. If that makes sense.