Could you forgive your lover of.......?

If the one you loved said that they had rape someone, or that they molested a child, or they killed a man, or if they took advantage of distrught women would you lose your ablity to love them?

If they said that they were beyond these things, and that their were thoughts the are only in the past, could you see past their misdeeds, and be able to just see them as who they are

This question is sort of personal becasue from now on no matter what i can't deny what i've done, so i wonder if i every told my partner of my past would their be anyone out their who would forgive me if my pentance was pure?

but it is a general question, imagine your love one spilling their guts, reveling a revolting past could you let the past remain in the past?

---new part of the question---

would they have to serve their punishment to the law, or do you think if they repented in their own way that it would be pass-able?

 

wow...umm freind...are you admitting to murder? i knew about everything el;se..and you probably know several ppl tried to stop u from goin further then we'd known about...
damn dude...
perhaps she could understand, but i think shed also expect you to pay a debt to society and those you hurt and make things as right as possible

fick man..i dont remember how old u r..but if u murdered someone..you'd been displaying psychopathic behavior..can u be sure its all behind u..u'd need to make a commitment to getting help wether she can love u or not

 

ok, well...your asking in ethics...which i dont see this forum getting much use...so guess i'll answer...man..youd gafta be absoluteky 1000000000% different then who youve been...real pentence for what youd have done would have to be to the people and familues youd have hurt...if love truly made u repent...youd have to ask forgiveness from society...you need 5 years of repentence at least...prefferebly with mental help...voluntarily....

yes i believe love can truly change you...but...all this has happened in the past year...and..it all started over a girl if u remember...you need to get help....she maybe able to see who you are yes.. but you need to get into treatment before u hurt her or anyone else...i do hope u really do have all that in the past... but youve been unstable and you know it....no change is complete that fast....i dont think any1 could accept it if u didnt really pay pennance or really get help...

you purposely made your past as revolting as possible... spilling your guts would probibly scare the shit out of her... if she really is the 1 however... she would still ove you..but no matter what i think any1 would agree youd need help....pure pennence requires rehab...man...u fucked up big and need a few years to think bout what u did

 

The only way I could forgive my lover is if I knew that they had realized what they did was wrong and would vollentarily go into therapy. But if they killed someone thats a deal breaker

 

cant believe in 14 hours only 5 people have even looked at this and voted
but if it was about weed or sex it woulda had 5 replies b4 the poll was posted

 

I agree, but then again, sex and drugs rock!

 

no just wondering, wanted to cover all the large crimes

 

ok, i know you had contemplated it

well, what are you hoping she will forgive

 

lol no i don't think i would every tell any one i really care about what i did, if i'm over it its good enouph for her.

but i made this thread becasue a person once said "imagine if you rape her, no woman would ever forgive if you did that" i was just wondering what the numbers on that are......even if it is from this small pool

 

That is a really hard question. It would be hard to forgive any of those things, but I think I could forgive urder easiest, depending on the situation.

Peace and love

 

yes. I would loose my ability to love my partner if he did those things. If I knew I had been dating a rapist/child molester I would probably immediatley be moved to vomit out of disgust. Then I would have to go into therapy to get over having even touched such a fucked up loser. Child molesters are some of the most vile beings in the world.. notice I didn't say human being, as I don't think someone who hurts children is good enough to be classed as a human. Same goes for rapists.

Is that honest enough for you?

 

you made the thread with the assumption you would open up, and tell her everything, now you say you'll never tell her anything
if you say your over it (doubtful) and thats good enough forr her..how can it be good enough for her if she never knows?

was that me that said that? anyways..as you see...so far the number is zero
that isnt to sy nobody could..if..there was true pennance and healling
nobody in theyre right mind would want to see u in any relationship at all, without a min of 5 years intencive therapy
and..some attempt to make some restitution for all youve done

 

this post was deleted by user

 

I could forgive anything, however revolting and evil. I assume that a key assumption of the OP is true sorrow for the deed and resolution for no more offenses. Given these variables, it would not affect my ability to love him. The way I see it is that we all have mishaps. The situation described in the OP seems to insinuate that these mishaps are not truly dispositional but are merely unfortunate lapses in character that lead down an extreme path.

 

I'm not navie enouph to think that i could tell my partner that i raped someone if i did without the realtionship being seriously shut down. This is just a solidification of that idea. I would much rather have to live with a lie, then to let another think i like die. It good enouph for her becasue she likes me, and if i'm happy with myself, then she should be happy for me. So if she sees me as happy then i am happy. And if she sees me at satifed then i appear satisfed and what she doen't know can't hurt, unless i do (jk jk i thought it was started to sound too serious)

 

No I wouldnt be able to forgive any of those things.... I wouldnt trust the person. Im sure there are more loving, forgiving people out there then me though.

 

Told you man, when you were typing up your crap and everyone was worried, i remember posting that this would be a problem for you, i knew it would. Everyone wants to love and be loved.

 

loving & forgiving?
try nieve & idiotic
hes a sociopath
shes his freakin cousil
hes molested his aunt & neice
hes raped & noew possibly murdered
loving & forgiving?
shes his next victim
his only true repentence would bre to turn himself in & gert help..
sorry dude..
ya cant say ooops sorry i kissed ya..
we toldd you all this when u were only contem,plating these sick crimes

 

It really doesn't matter one way or another, your past. What matters is what do you do now?

When you tell someone of your past, you in effect create a reaction in the other person you tell. You become a causal factor for the other person to either hate you or forgive you. Love you ... that's another story. Trust you ... again another story.

What you need to do is, if you really have made a change, is to let go of the past ... it's obvious you haven't let go of it, cause you are dragging it around in the forum, and dragging it over other people ...

It doesn't matter what you've done. What matters is what you're doing. If you keep dragging the past around with you, you're going to repeat it, no matter how much it repulses you or how much you regret doing it. Until eventually you'll have no conscience about it whatsoever.

In Buddhism it is said that Clinging is a result of Craving, and Craving is a result of Feelings, and Feelings are of three types: greed (pleasure), ill-will (pain, anger, hatred) and delusion. Point is, if your clinging to the past, chances are your craving it as well.

Posting your going-ons here is also a way to indicate you are still craving the past.

If you really have changed, are really pentanent, you must first forgive yourself and let go of it. If what you've done requires some sort of public punishment then fret not, it will eventually find you out.

What you have to accept responsibility for is the kamma (Karma) you have created in the actions you have taken. You are the owner of your actions, heir to your actions, born of your actions, related through your actions and live dependent on your actions. Whatever actions you do for good or for evil, to those actions you will fall heir. You cannot escape your actions nor the result for your actions. Even in death you cannot escape them. Nor a thousand deaths.

Telling other people about your past deeds (even in this forum) gives rise in those individuals their own kamma. Kamma they will regret and kamma they do not want to carry around with them. You will give rise to anger, ill-will, hatred, loathing ...

HTML:

HTML:

HTML:

 

^^^^^^^^ uhhuh..what he said

but then again if u think back a bit
youve had 200 people try to tell u that no woman would ever love you if you performed these actions then u not only did em but bragged about em
all 200 made almost as much sence as this poster above
so you chose a life of never being loved or trusted
justto explore our dark thrills
now only real pennence to dsociety & the victimks will do