Could you forgive your lover for cheating?

I have put 7 years in my current relationship and currently I am dealing with the slowly discovered fact that my partner has cheated on me multiple time. I am completely in love with my partner, but I have dumped others for less. I want to forgive him but Im finding it very hard, for some reason I feel that I need all of the details to even begin to forgive him. I'd appreciate any personal stories/experiences when you have forgiven someone or completely dumped them on the spot for cheating.

 

Are you & him not having enough of a pleasurable / physical /sex life or total lack of sex or other reasons (?), or does he find other women just to have sex with that may give him something extra he may not be having now. Or does he just like a bit of extra spice in his life as the saying goes? DOES HE TELL YOU HE LOVES YOU THOU, or IS IT ONE SIDED? Ask him if he actually loves you or if he says he doesn't (?) find out why not? Then you have a few big decisions to make?
Hope you are not offended by any of my comments - It's not what I'm trying to do - just hoping you find some positive ones from it? Other family members (brothers & sister) of mine have been thru the same as you & I know the pain it can cause as well!
My brother had an affair with his wife' s youngest sister & then he divorced & married her instead. There were about 10 yrs difference between the sisters & about 15 yrs between my brother & his wife's sister. He has kids from both sisters now & he is much older than me. Thats only one of the affairs that my family went thru. I'm the only one who's been married the longest! Even my parents divorced years ago - seems to run in the family thou ?
Yes, I would forgive my partner for cheating, but only if I were lacking something that she wasn't able to get from me for some genuine reasons that she desparately needed to fullfill her own needs. Maybe thats why prostitutes have always been there for that purpose as well - to give whats not given by the other partner?

 

You think you would forgive your partner if she was in the same situation you see yourself in...

I did forgive my partner for cheating. It was very difficult and I did demand to know all the details. Some people say it doesn't help, but for me it did. I needed complete honesty to move on from that point. It took a concerted effort everyday for one or two months and a ton of discussions, but eventually I did forgive him...I would add more but I feel it gets too personal at that point.

 

you got made into a chump. you got played, and you're still getting played.

seven years is a long time, and I could understand how hard it would be to give up on that dude after so many years.

but he stepped outside the relationship to get his, maybe you should do the same. see how he likes it.
I'm sure there's plenty of decent tail in your town.

 

I don't think I could forgive

 

Nop I could never forgive it! Trust and respect are way to importent to me. Without those things you got nothing. There is no excuse for it. Even if your sex life is not great or you don't feel like you are getting enough it is a piece of shit thing to do to someone. If you can't be true to the one you love or satisfied with them then leave them.

 

My answer is no. Multiple times, hell no! you deserve better.

 

If it was just a one off I would say he deserves a second chance. But as you said - he has cheated multiple times. That is a blatant disrespect of you and the relationship you have taken seven years to invest with him.

You deserve better than someone who wants to have cake and eat it too.

 

I could forgive if it was once , and my partner was honestly heartbroken about it.
but if it was a few times and I hadnt a clue , and then found out on my own while I was being lied to...no...I couldnt trust them or stay with them.

 

No. Life is too short to stay with someone who would treat me like that.

For me, he would not just be cheating on me, but our 3 children as well. Our whole family would suffer.

 

I wasn't able to forgive an ex for cheating on me once, let alone multiple times.

Hell, I have a hard time forgiving the guy that cuts me off at the intersection, let alone cheating.

Lying and cheating are my two no-nos.

 

I could forgive, after I broke up with them.

I wouldn't stay with someone who cheated on me no matter how long I had been with them or anything else involved.

 

Never like i said i play for keeps

 

No. Unforgivable. No excuses. I was in a band. Fiddle player and bass player were a serious couple. Bass player got drunk, had sex with some other girl - got caught - all this the night before a gig. She forgave him. I quit the band because I knew where this was all heading. He kissed her ass for two years subsequently, turned into a real angel, but I knew it was an act. He finally got tired of pretending to be a decent guy and by then she was two years more invested in him. Her sister recently told me that every time they (her sister and her cheating boyfriend) have sex that she can't help but picture her boyfriend with "that girl". I suspect that she is very unhappy, but she puts on one hell of a good show. I lost complete respect for both of them and have nothing to do with them now.

 

If you do, can you be sure it wont scar your relationship ? its a tough one....everyone's circumstances are different ...

Do what you feel would make you both happier :love:

 

I feel the same way. If i found out i was being cheated on i would be filled with so much anger that i would have to walk away.

I would forgive her later, and hopefully we could remain friends. I try to stay friends and keep in contact with every girl ive dated. The chances of me ever getting back together with someone who did cheat on me in the past is slim to none though.

 

^this. I didn't think I'd ever be able to forgive my ex for cheating, but a few months after we split I was able to let it go. Not for her, but for my own well being. I have a no tolerance fuckin around policy. I think partly because I had to watch my mother cheat on my Dad all throughout my childhood. So I absolutely demand respect from any woman I'm with.

 

I could probably forgive after we broke up, too.

When someone does me REALLY wrong, I turn my care switch off. I just stop caring or putting effort into the relationship. So, I wouldn't be able to maintain a relationship even if someone did do me wrong.

I was cheated on once by someone I really loved. I stopped caring and fucked his brother...worked out well for me

 

yes.

I'll build our love up to a critical peak then cheat on her when it would hurt her the most.

 

No never it's a betrayal and that I cannot forgive someone who is nit going to be honest with me doesn't deserve me. I can get dishonesty and im sorry from a casual fuck I don't need that from someone I consider to be my partner in life I need that person to look out for me to be there for me not to hide things from me and deceive me