On Saturday, my friends and I attended a "coming out" celebration at a local pub, and of course, my friend, Donnie, captured some of it in photos posted on Facebook. He wrote, "Saturday , October 11 was coming out day and we went to Manlius with our good friends and celebrated our triumph of coming out. I have never made a big gesture in "coming out". It has been an intensely private one, first sharing with my wife, my children, some friends and other family. I have not seen a need to publicly proclaim anything. I often joked you will never see a billboard along the highway about this... So, it kind of tickled me when I saw this and I was tagged. I have nothing to hide. I am who I am for the first time in my life these last few years. This was not my "coming out" day. But an opportunity to celebrate the day designated for that, and to celebrate those of us who have taken that big step of breaking out of the closet. When I finally faced the need to come out several years ago, it took a lot of courage to say the words out loud. It also caused people I love a lot of pain. They struggled to understand, and it took time to acquire some acceptance - my closest family members have had the worst time of it, but I glad to say they are coming around. Old friends and members of my family have been supportive and loving. And yes, some people I thought were friends have distanced themselves. So be it. Here we are around the fire at the pub. There I am in the middle, proudly wearing my green "coming out shirt" This shirt can be purchased through Human Rights Campaign It is a major decision to make for anyone. But, I encourage you, if you are considering it, to realize that as you walk through the pain, you will come out feeling a new contentment and peace within yourself. I would also encourage you to take it slow, possibly seeking certain individuals to tell that you know will most likely embrace you. Also, I think it helps to think of the worst things you fear happening when you take this step and decide if you can handle those things. My greatest fear was rejection by those who I love the most. I will tell you, some things occurred were much worse than I imagined, but I found strength and resolve in speaking my truth - and somehow, the worst things were OK. The best things were realizing I did not need to hide. I did not need to worry about being found out. I did not need to pretend. And I could be confident in myself. Proclaiming yourself as your true self does something profound to you personally. The word PRIDE comes to mind. It is used a lot in the LGBTQ community, and it is often misunderstood by those who are not gay, lesbian, transgender or queer. To me, it is taking courage, being able to stand up for yourself, and speak your truth, and to be yourself... which is something many of us have not been able to do adequately while we hid ourselves in that closet. Being LGBTQ is much more than who we are sexually attracted to, but it is our essence, and it encompasses our being, our personalities and our souls. And, remember - if you are considering coming out - you don't have to do it on October 11th. You can do it whenever you are ready. Love is love... love yourself first!
