Come a long way with still some work to do.

So I have dealt with anxiety, depression, and an eating disorder. It sucked balls at the lowest points in my life, and thankfully I was able to realize that I didn't want to live that way and tried to learn how to deal with my challenges in constructive ways instead of destructive. I find these days I do like the person I'm working on becoming, and I want to be an independent, self-sufficient person while still maintaining healthy and fulfilling friendships and relationships, as well as being more secure and confident with myself. Life is too short to be miserable, and I've seen enough people fall into the abyss of mental illness and never come out that I don't want to go there myself.

What is it that separates those of us who actively try to make our lives better vs. the ones who fall deeper and deeper into the darkness? I would say it's having a support network, but I know plenty who've had that and still stayed depressed and never got help for it, and I had a point in life where I only had one really close friend who I hung out with and still managed to get the help I needed, of my own will. What makes me different from them?

I don't feel like I'm even "better" than the people who choose to stay unwell, and acknowledge that maybe some are too far-gone to decide to get well on their own. It just makes me upset and sad that I was willing to do the work (through facing the unpleasant memories that led me to my conditions and learning new cognitive coping techniques, as well as doing exercises to help me through various challenges) and others are not. And you try to be there for those people, but often they end up either not wanting your help or they don't think they're worth it so they fester in their darkness. It just makes me sad and upset that it happens to people. There is help out there that is worthwhile if you go looking for it, even if you are low-income. Sometimes even just learning the nature of your disorder is enough for someone to use logic and reasoning along with therapeutic techniques and exercises to combat the problems from the disorder. It also helps to know you aren't alone in these problems, and that many others have sought the same help. Maybe there's just such a stigma that comes from therapy and the like that people are afraid to be seen doing it, even if it would help them.

I personally just didn't want to be miserable and unhappy anymore. I wanted to stop binge eating, I wanted to stop isolating myself, I wanted to stop putting myself in abusive situations. So I found a place where low income people can get mental help and took advantage of it. I confronted the things that for so long had ruled my life, and guess what, they don't anymore! Not every case is hopeless, I just wish more people realized that.

 

i'm happy to hear that you found help and are working through your issues to get better. i have been dealing with the same issues as well and i'm much healthier today than i was years ago.