My Intentions Enthusiastic anticipation Ominous reaction Passing language trails Awkward laughing Exaggerated dismal Every attempt fails Confused signals Frigid surface Numbing to touch Rigid purpose Afraid of much Insipid courage Shed the crutch Doubting my intention? You are my infection All day reflection Special love, protection The natural selection Never dissension This is my intention For her.
For You You're image clouds my thought It's present in everything Before you Life was distraught For you Life could be anything Clutch my pillow and think Where are you? Insanity, I'm on the brink Your voice, your touch I need your love. What if I'm scathed...? I want your love And acceptance. But I'm afraid.
Where are you, I miss you... Wish you weren't watching the clock waiting, stock taking fraud. You do ensure. Who? Always an abstract issue with you. Notching on the rocker debating, waiting to applaud. I'm getting blue, poly thoughts resonating. Stop blaming? Odd. Non stop thought, second docker waiting, paranoia. Facade?
Not finished: Deep and rusted. Asleep and crusted. Steep. Busted. Pressurized by pressure. Deep stress. It's a journey. Leads to treasure. Surely pleasure impedes. The abyss. Don't miss the bliss. Blurred light source. Flashlight kiss. Sure, fright of course. Deep sea exploration. Encrusted jewels, sleek eel. Imploration. Crazy Shit Intent on joy. Relent. Coy. Employ intent and act. Relax. Look around, leap a bound. Shook the sound, creep around. Stable. Happy. A slap happy fable. Eaiting saw blades, raw blades. Blades saw me beating raw saw. No lube. I don't approve. Tough. I can't get enough. Stuff tube through with groove.Thorough. Sploog the proof. Spark a spliff, poof. Diff doof. Hark. Off the kiff, shit... days are diff.
In this world of calamity and dirty looks, I find refuge in dreaming and books. This is insinuation and your praise is long over due. Perfect match, no need for compromise. Evasive of negative situations. Looking for love with no negotiations. Life is a cycle noticed by me and few. I'd share my bicycle and time, too. I'd share all what is mine. You are perfection, divine. A fuss never from me, night and day I would please you.
Not finished: Lighting a candle in his crude manner, he kicked his dog. A customary routine for his state. He clutched his symbol of shame which was lit by the jumping shadows made by the candle. A primitively burnt spoon, ages of use was evident with scorch marks. He slowly made his was towards his work desk. Many functions it served, and as he caressed the desktop he was struck with memories... Carefully sitting down in front of his type writer, he arranged the various items on his desk to his liking. When he was pleased, he reached down to his left with a pair of well taken care of hands. As he was leaning he noticed the luminescent shafts of light breaking through the window and curtains. Hope. He had always thought these rays of light symbolized hope in his candle light room. Eagerness and anticipation quickly possessed him and he opened the drawer. The ritual was about to start. And in his hand he held the first tool!
Get drunk on the feeling. Start seething. Know it. Overdue it, hit the ceiling. Shackle and abuse it. Scar it. Use it. Mar and refuse it. Spend years hurting it, then lose it. Pert, you accuse others, but there are none. Shift blame and project your own dismay. Coming. Come. Came, always with neglect. Bumming, losing respect. It's how they lose the game. Respect? Not to expect, it's always the same.
Bus Station Soliloquy So many bored faces. All desperate and scary. Here, there, to footstep places. Every pair eyes fidgety and staring. An array, different colors of suitcases. Fear? The price for this is faring. Nothing like familiar pace. Here, there is no caring.
Sequel to Bus Station Soliloquy Cold and tired. Hungry. This demise I conspired. Stuck. It's because of me. And my demons. Crude. No place to shift blame. Nobody to lend a hand. Closing time, it's cold. Dancing to a distant drum beat. Living with no reason. I should quickly fold. Shame. Isn't this why I came? I'm not fine. There is nobody to take my blame. Desperately begging for help. Help me break this frame.
To touch and be near with eyes closed. To love and be yours. Safety in your confidence. Trust and it's possible prominence. Shared interests, it may endure. Innocent, angelic and pure. Holding hands while enjoying the day. Before dinner we'd wrestle and intimately play. Cuddling, twisting you hair by a fire. Anxious and nervous, special words fringing on the wire. I'd commit to your happiness, Abolish your sadness. Days spent in romance. I'm scared I have no chance.
Unknown addresses. Address the unknown and be depressed. Less is more, more is stress. Less. More distress. Regress. I'll never submit to less. Best. Tainted. Unfinished and tarnished. Watch the sun diminish and wish we were together. What could be better?
Where are you, I miss you... Watching the clock waiting, stock taking fraud. I do ensure. Who? Abstract issue with you. Notching on the rocker debating, waiting to applaud. I'm getting blue, poly thoughts resonating. Stop blaming. Odd. Non stop thought, second docker waiting, paranoia. Facade.
180 mgs the highlights of livin' near death, adrenaline your tears and clean linens reelin' and spinning puke and mystical speakin' deduction, deception, direction bliss, ignorance, discovery common comradery soiled ambition possession, impossible progression an unlimited session
The next few are drug poetry: In his abode, A lode is blowed. Nodded and incoherent, no problem is apparent. This ride has a high tariff, but boy, It make 'em shoot the sheriff. Rock climb, you can't stop me, sky dive, it was a 40mg oxy. When it starts to dwindle, there's thoughts of swindle. Cold cobblestone, you are all alone. Two shots to the dome, find which way the wind's blowin'. Nature's the only sure fire way, but the wind is deceiving. Do not let it make you stray, for crude surprises you will be receiving. If cleansing is desired, his soul may be saved from eternal fire. The fire we call eternal is waiting, it is here, and it fornicating. New offspring, new opponents, a fake calling, fake components. Conditioned and trained, his instinct is stained, individualism strained. One way out, the only way out... alas the doubt. Guarded and padded, away he darted, he has had it. A feeble attempt in cross results in contempt, corrupt and loss. Hatred for the loss, hatred for the boss. Death at all costs. When did this become a dream? When did the fabric of time unravel seam by seam. Nothing left but be true, only to a certain degree, because he is me, and he is you.
Sometimes I think... Sometimes I think I have no friends. So many loose ends, and no means of mends. There is nothing to hide, and I am losing time to bide. If the psyche were an equation, or an accessible station. One with gas and fappin' , window wiping, action, class and ration. Then the answer would be found, but am I answer bound? Is the answer sound? What do I expect? What do I accept? I can't help but be me, but who am I? My last name starts with "V", brown eye, when will I die? Does that matter? I'm a mess. Every day I get fatter and eat less. My life's in a tatter, but there's nothing to address. You have to be trusted if you lie, brains a scatter, maybe I'm high, does dying matter? I really don't know what is happening, am I liked? I try to keep from fapping, but I am always piked. This could be an internal trick, word, for me it's a mind bog, shaken, stirred and the penis or dick, much slick... with a broken cog. Now, I steam, there is smoke, sometimes there is cream, but mostly there is never a joke.
Irritable, edgy, antsy and tense. Even the best of gents, yes they, too shit waterfalls, shake all over and make a million calls. I often think I am slick, but opiates are dubious, And I am just nick, when they get ruthless, and it's time for the puke accompanied by the ache, We try and get baked, I possess will, but the opiates they take. With no remorse, they get you sick and jet, leaving you a lone in a puddle of shake,, knowing this is one more thing to regret. track, embarrassment, no shame. Help us all not lose, let's play the game.
Was HS worth remembering? People were scarred, some lives dismembered. For me it was a daze, ah, HS daze. You guys don't know I have a curse, see, all I got was weed and pussy. Those were my main concern, oh, how i got the burn Since then, I have had revelations of certain. Moments of clarity, I no longer live behind a curtain. Common sense has always been a rarity, and it does exist... though in scarcity.... These are the daze of my life, filled with strife... my friends are trife, most are gone.. It is always darkest before dawn, so I will stay strong. I know where I belong, I know it is above, I hear a trumpet song, and know It is all my love. When tears of joy run down my face, and I am Supreme, I will go to a special place, far beyond any dream.
