There are some evil little bastards in my house, they steal my cigarettes and move them around the house. Not only that sometimes they smoke em. How can i stop these little bastards?
Yup, what you gotta do is make a trap. Just rig it up so that when you pick up the cigarettes a tupperware container or somesuch will fall over them. then you can site thee and smoke your cigs in plain view. that or you could share with them. me i think id share. gnomes can be pretty evil. i know from experience. let em tell you the story... back when i was in school i sat near the back of the room, and sometimes i opened the cupboards and stole things. this was all fine until one day i opened the cupboard where... "it"... lived. "it" was a gnome names kalron. he was a mighty mean and evil little fella too. anytime someone opened his cupboard he'd usually yell one of the flalowing things: fuck you! up yours! eat shit! you fuckin' jerk! so as the year went on i came to realize that kalron operated a gnome bordello behind a loose wallboard. gnomes could sneak in in people's bags and have some fun in "Kalron's Kinky Klub". well needless to say the teachers found out about t eventually. problem was they couldnt stop him. you see, he had a shotgun and enough ammo and supplies for a two year standoff. so the teachers pretty much turned a blind eye, seeing as the only shotgun they had belonged to hendricken (the principal), and he kept it with him all the time to keep away the things he called "people from the transsexual strip club who fell in love with that fancy red-clothed dancer". (thats the much different story of my principal's exploits as a transsexual stripper) so then, when the school year ended, the gnomes had no way to get to the bordello, so it was shut dow over the summer. when i got home and unpacked my bags, i found something i never would have expected... kalron, the trash talking gnome, would be staying here over the summer. so he's still here. trouble is that was my last summer in school, seeing as i was homeschooled from there on. now kalron operates his bordello in the back of my closet. i dont go in there anymore, but im always hearing screams of pleasure from in there. well thats the story of kalron, the trahs talking gnome. thats why you need to get rid of them cigarette gnomes fast. gnomes are REAL BAD.
I made an agreement with mine. 1. They can move them around but only to bedside cabinets, kitchen table, under cushions and under newspapers on coffee table. 2. If i have 10 cigarettes they can take no more or less than 6 thus leaving 4. They do this once a week. 3. Once every 8 weeks they must leave a pack in my coat pocket/handbag with only 1 cigarette in it. This is especially important the morning after a drunken night out. 4. They can take as many "crap" lighters as they want, but not "good" lighters.
Well, deal with it the same way I did. Instead, the Dryer Gnomes would get angry if you didn't put dryer sheets in the dryer with the laundry, so as a sacrafice they would steal your socks. You catch them and hang them out on a clothesline by their ears. Dear god, I'm not even high.
NO MENTHOLS! But you are the keeper of Karlon? My gnomes and i had a peace summit. They are allowed to have 1 cigarette for every 2 i smoke. And we have allied against our worse enemy, the evil demonic PORN GNOMES!. They steal porn from us both, but the gnomes using tanks i gave them have pushed the Porn Gnomes to the far corner of my bedroom. At night i can see the fires and hear the screams.....
Hang the cigs from the fan. They cant get to em. With the pot... Hmmm... Double baggie inside the toilet lid
