Christianity for Retards

great, great read.



Christianity for retards


Do you like mindless dietary taboos, sexual taboos, sexism, murder, war, bigotry and virtually every form of prejudice known to man? Then you’re going to love the Bible.

The New Testament is the dividing line for a group of books that are separate from the Old Testament. This is where god decided to quite favoring the self proclaimed chosen ones, the Jews, and allows all of the gentiles or non-Jews to get in on the game.

It appears that one Day, God had an absolute fit. Now the last time god got really pissed at his creation he had a do over, so he drowned 99.99 pecent of life in a great and glorious flood of mass murder, including newborns and animals.

That just didn’t last, it wasn’t satisfying enough. He was looking at the earth and the people he made, on the second try, and they were still just rubbing him the wrong way. See, God set himself up a win/win situation of worship or torture his two favorite things. God is an egotistical god who demands worship, but he likes to make it on a game of faith rather than just proving his existence. All of his creation is subject to eternal fire or eternal worship and servitude. He had a master plan for how he could save people from…well from himself.

And god said:
“I'm so mad, I'm coming down to earth

to kill myself to appease my own wrath.

And I'm burning Everyone who does

not believe in my masochistic tantrum”

Rys2sense -Ryan Dawson

He would call the new religion Christianity and it would go on to kill people of the other heathen faiths by the tens of millions. As far as religions go, Christianity is not even a good lie because it is fundamentally flawed.

Here is the story in a nut shell.
There are two basic versions. God comes down to earth as a man (the other story says has a son) and God is made flesh as Jesus. Then in order to save all of humanity (form himself) from his own wrath, he kills himself or knowingly lets himself be killed as a sacrifice (a sacrifice to himself) and who ever believes in this sacrifice (be it god killing his son or himself) will be accepted into Heven (however later the Bible states only 140,000 people go to Heven and they are all Israelites but whatever).

OK so God is saying "I'm going to have a kid and kill it, to appease my own wrath, so that I can forgive all of you for being the way that I made you, but only if you believe in the killing of my kid. Otherwise you will all burn, um forever. Love me or burn. That's free choice.

PS actually I'm still mad so at some point I'm coming back and I am going to destroy the entire planet (for the second time) but not in any old uncreative way like last time which was a giant flood, no no no next time I'm bringing out dragons with prostitutes riding on their heads, and 4 horsemen, oh and turning the moon into blood, I always thought that would be cool. Yeah you're all going down. Maybe I should have had twins and killed them both, maybe two deaths would have worked better than one. But don't worry I will save you from myself via the murder of my only son, all you have to do is believe that he was killed for you.

OK, never mind that that scapegoating sacrificial junk is flawed in and of its self. It seems like God was not satisfied, believing in him/it is not enough, you must also believe in his dead son.

“For god so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved. He that believeth on him is not condemned: but he that believeth not is condemned already, because he hath not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God.” –John 3:16-18

[Also see MT 3:12, 8:12, 10:21, 13:30, 42, 22:13, 24:51, 25:30, LK 13:28, JN 5:24]

Oh yes, how loving, he saved everyone from himself. All he had to do was let his practically perfect son get tortured and killed. See god is saying not to be a pacifist loving person like his son was. God is all about some holy war and damnation.

Oh yes, how loving, he saved everyone from himself. All he had to do was let his practically perfect son get tortured and killed. See god is saying not to be a pacifist loving person like his son was. God is all about some holy war and damnation.


It’s the old good cop bad cop routine. Run to Jesus an all accepting figure to deposit your love and hopes, whose dependency is fostered by the fact that he is necessary to save you from his father and his father’s rather extreme punishments of eternal torture, which how he rolls you know. It’s kind of like god taking credit for curing diseases that he created in the first place.
Jesus has more predictive power than his father. For example he has a prophecy which actually came true! In Matthew 26-52 Jesus says:

“Then said Jesus unto him, Put up again thy sword into his place: for all they that take the sword shall perish with the sword.”

If "He who lives by the sword, shall die by the sword," holds true, then Jesus was right. After all he was a carpenter and he got nailed to a piece of wood.

Now I don’t know about all those crazy conspiracy theorists that go around saying that the earth is round. So called scientist and their dinosaur bones, come on, the Bible doesn’t need flimsy things like evidence when it has fear induced faith.

Now some of those pansy liberal types will try to apologize for the Bible by claiming that when the buybull says things like the sun goes around the earth and that the earth is flat, that it really does not mean what it says. They claim that it is ‘interpreted’ the wrong way. But it doesn’t take a genius to pick up any history book and see how many wicked scientists like Copernicus and Galileo were killed or imprisoned for claiming that the earth was not the center of the universe.

Clearly the Bible did mean that the sun went around the earth and that is precisely what all the Christians believed for centuries until the corrupt secular nuts brainwashed people into believing the Bible was wrong or that the Bible somehow changed what it meant even when hundreds of books had been written supporting the old ‘interpretations,’ with no academic outcry save a few natural philosophers and their wacky notions of empirically testable and publicly verifiable evidence.

One should not listen to the Mary worshiping Catholics who follow an old man in a dress with a smoking purse either. However I must tip my hat to them for the recent election of their new pope who was a former Hitler youth who stood up to the Jesus denying Jews and other forsaken heathens, and those dreaded homosexuals. They were put to the flame as God has already intended for them. It was not quiet the glory days of the earlier centuries where Manifest Destiny killed 50 million savage Indians and millions of African non-believers who were shown the light by civilized Christian nations. It was not quiet the days of holy wars which lasted over a hundred years of murder, rape, theft, and forceful conversion, no it wasn’t the good old days of burning women accused of being witches, but it was a fairly good modern inquisition.

God does not take kindly to people who don’t believe in him and give a good portion of their wealth to his followers who actually tithed people. But most of all god hates the homosexuals. These mamby pamby christians that are OK with the Gays just want their money.

“For this reason God gave them up to vile passions. For even their women exchanged the natural use for what is against nature. Likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust for one another, men with men committing what is shameful, and receiving in themselves the penalty of their error which was due."-Romans 1:26-27

“...the law is not made for a righteous man, but for those who are lawless and rebellious, for the ungodly and sinners...and immoral men and homosexuals”-TIM.1:9-10

Some might ask: why did god make homosexuals? Obviously god likes to torment and torture it is what he has done his whole career. Making gay people is a way of having some for sure zingers. Back when god was just for the Jews, he use to fight with other gods like Baal the god of the Philistines the ancestors of the Palestinians, it’s not like the those groups are still fighting today. People can say that god didn’t make homosexuals and that homosexuality is purely psychological even when it is in the rest of the animal kingdom. It makes little sense that people would/could choose to withhold their natural sexuality for a perverse one that awards them with a life time of ridicule and harassment.


The secular secret devil worshippers are trying to afford homosexual equal rights much like they did for women. They just don’t read the good book, for the New Testament says:

“For Adam was formed first, then Eve. And Adam was not the one deceived; it was the woman who was deceived and became a sinner. -1 Tim. 2:12-14”

"But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man;.... -1 Cor. 11:3."

"Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man -1 Cor. 11:9."

"Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husband, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife.... Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husband in every thing -Eph. 5:22-24."


The Atheist and Deists just won’t obey gods laws. For Heven sake, we live in a republic now, what ever happened to the Biblically supported divine right of kings? Thomas Paine and Jefferson must think they know better than god. Well they can join Socrates and Einstein in Hell. The Bible supports unconstitutional monarchies. From King Solomon to King David to King Saul, and so on for over a thousand years the authority of the king was granted and justified by the church.


“Submit yourselves to every ordinance of man for the Lord's sake: whether it be to the king, as supreme; Or unto governors, as unto them that are sent by him for the punishment of evildoers, and for the praise of them that do well. Honour all men. Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honour the king.” -I Peter 2:13

“Put them in mind to be subject to principalities and powers, to obey magistrates, to be ready to every good work.” -Titus 3:1

“Let every person be subject to the governing authorities; for there is not authority except from God, and those authorities that exist have been instituted by God. Therefore whoever resists authority resists what God has appointed, and those who resist will incur judgment.” Romans 13:1-2

I believe a quick History of Christianity is needed. The bulk of the Jesus story is bull. They just ripped off older myths from different people and reused them. It's also why Matthew and Luke give different genealogies because they were attempts to link him with King David's bloodline. Jesus (the man/philosopher) was a real person. As for the walking on water and all that, it's just nonsense. Here is a run down of what went down.

Some Jews liked the idea of having a God for just the chosen people, and some thought it would be better if God was for all people, and they divided over this. The reformers invented Christianity, a passive religion under Saul/Paul who wrote the majority of the New Testament himself, which just so happened to give god's ultimate authority to the current rulers (Romans 13) and supported monarchy and feudalism. Rome was in limbo between a Republic and a dictator all the time. Eventually the Emperor-side wins and they adopt Christianity because: For one it stripped power away form all the polytheistic priests, oracles, and temple heads who had political clout. Get rid of the competition, and take power for yourself.

Secondly, it nurtured greater authoritarianism under the 'one god rules' thing just like the government. Note how stressed the old "there is only one god bla bla bla…" is pushed at the time, it was very important. Under polytheism if you didn’t like how a certain sect was going you could always become a follower of a new cult with no consequences. It also encouraged people to travel which usually increases trade and has the side effect of broadening one’s mind. Now they could stay in one place and fear even thinking about any other gods or thought systems, so the loyalty was increased.

Thirdly, it centralized the wealth, and this is crucial, rather than all these different temples to gods and goddesses' temples dividing the suckers' money, it all got centralized. (Then they used it in politics and they also made money on marriages and deaths ect... they use the military to conquer, convert, and collect. It's a perpetual business)

Fourthly, it shuts up the poor because of how it is structured to dope them up with a fancy afterlife escapism which is contingent on the virtue-equals-obedience condition. I.e. work hard and suffer now and you get rewards later when your dead and can't demand a refund. It has a psychological appeal to the underclass (the biggest threat) via false hope. Christianity has in essence always been a religion of the State unlike other religions which were simplistic explanations for natural phenomena like seasons and the stars.

The for-profit business church would later divided into three and then spend a few centuries fighting each other in wars over who would get to collect from where and then they fought some equally insane Muslims who were another spin off monotheistic group, and then they turned on the Jews, Atheists, Pagans, and finally the Native Americans. It's basically a sick history of kill convert and collect. Of course it was also used to support slavery, sexism, and list of crazy things from animal sacrifice to circumcisions.

Religions like Christianity have deep connections economics and government. As businesses they often neglect their own teachings and use their religious texts to justify crimes against humanity. From crusades and jihads to Manifest Destiny and Zionism religion has done more harm than good. There is a Bible passage that says “thou shall not kill” however it was brought to the people by Moses who was a man who killed an Egyptian, as it is recorded in the second chapter of Exodus (2:2) and would go on to support a lot of killing later.

What people do not realize is that God has already condemned the majority of his creation to eternal punishment anyway and all though non-believer or people who worship false gods are destined to the flames anyway so what does it matter if some good god fearing Christians speed up the process by a few measly years? It’s nothing in the greater picture. Organized Religion has a tragic history of being used to justify crimes against humanity. It fools the poor into giving the rich their wealth and their lives, for an invisible, unquestionable, authority figure, who is conveniently unreachable.

no matter how far you twist it, even if you got rid of all the sexual taboos, the scientific untruths like the sun going around the earth and talking donkeys, Samson's magical hair, Jonah living in a whale's belly for three days, the entire creation story, the morally unacceptable and politically unacceptable institutions that the Bible supports like oh, Slavery, and a non-constitutional Monarchy, even if you get rid of the common sense flaws like animal sacrifices, exorcisms, witches, giants, demons, the super status of first born sons, and all the bigotry toward all other religions, and the economic retardation like tithing and collecting money for God, and the psychological problems of a hierarchical system of authoritarianism and the type of families and governments that tends to promote, and combined with the chronic guilt for things that help self esteem like pride, free thinking, wisdom (read Ecclesiastes-literally the book of life) and so on make sexually dysfunctional child molesters and war mongering freaks, even if you strip down of all the ugly and are left with the good parts like love your neighbors and don't kill, steal, or lie,-things even a four year old knows better than to do, and hardly warrants a religious text to comprehend them, even if you do all these things and come out with a good form of Christianity (in my opinion the Quakers would be that form) you still have a fundamental flaw and that is that the myth doesn't even make sense b/c of the god coming dying and requiring this knowledge and worship so he doesn't burn you thing is plainly and simply just well stupid.

 

blahhh

 

thats just plain mean spirited

 

reciting the teachings of the bible is mean spirited...? sure the guy who wrote it wasnt the nicest, but what do you expect.
And maybe its mean spirited for being in the christianity forum, but why post it in atheist/agnostic? This is about christianity, atheism is about all religions... s'not like we cant post in this forum.
This essay holds a lot of truth to it.

 

We don't (or atleast, I don't) go looking for a way to annoy fools in some atheist/agnostic (whysoever they're together) forum. It's not worth it.

 

i know i know...im not saying dont post it or anything, but i mean, if i posted in the Agnostc/Atheist forum, with Jesus spam, then id probobly be flammed out of my shorts...just saying like, you know, i dont see why everyone sees the need to "pick fights" especially with christains...

if you were saying something derogitory towards muslims, like how it promotes hate, and masongony, or how viilent and bad of a person Muhommad [with the greatest repesct] was etc. theyd roast you on the evening news...or even if you were out at synagouges yelling at pepole about how they are going to Hell...

thats just kinda how i see, this, trying to get people upset, then pretending like you are completle innocent when the peple in here back up their beliefs with scriptures and such...[may i direct you to the thread in "philosiphy and religion" main forum where the person was asking for help, then you are ryu started going at it]...and i do believe you were the first to start knocking the other person in that case too...

im most likely done in here

 

come on, why dont we make one of these for every holy book, and post it in every forum for a specific faith...


why, cause people like to antagonise Christains for some reason or another

 

I was talking to Mui.

And yeah, man. I totally agree with you!
That's basicly what I was trying to point out!

hmmm....you've got a point. Isn't it Interesting that they always mock the one true God?

Meh, We know who's behind this!

 

Well, I really dislike the title ... very immature, imho. As a self-proclaimed retard, who is not Christian, I find the use of the word retard distasteful.
Also, imho, criticism of others faith, and finding fault or its own sake, without offering your own alternative solution, has no value.
Finally, I give it a D, because it lacks any kind of a positive conclusion, and appears to be meant only to insult a targetted group, ie. Christians.
Just cuz we are not Christians, does not make them wrong, or us right. And just dissing them cuz we disagree serves no purpose, imho. They are just as right in their beliefs as you, me and everyone else is.

 

ryu, sorry, but i didnt mean for that to kinda be directed at you, but Mui

 

you just owned mui. it's a typical additude of most the people here that he has. and they say christians are rude.

 

Personally, I dont mind the idea of books like that for every religion... sounds like a good idea to me... you guys should read this article... it has truths to it... im not looking to pick a fight... i want people who already agree with this article to enjoy it... and maybe question some peoples thoughts.

And as for that other post, tis old and dead.. and i already made my point about it, it was my opinion... i dont care if i offend christians, obviously... and when christians go to the atheist/agnostic forum and debate their side, I am just insanely amused... not offended, really... i dont expect them to agree with me... and surely if any of you want to post any anti-atheist rhetoric in the atheism forum, please go ahead... will make for a good post... imo.
Trying to shed some light on you all isnt so mean as it seems.. you just take it personally because you identify yourself as a christian. And this wasnt posted solely to piss you guys off, but for others to enjoy as well (those that are able to enjoy it)

 

which one?
It seemed like you reacted to my post.

 

Than post it in another forum.

 

Of course you guys think I got owned... but to me, all of you are owned by this article.... i seriously doubt you all even read it.
you judge it by its title... which sure has bad taste, im not the one attacking retards or people in wheelchairs like SOME people.. i didnt write this article or make the title... i have relatives that are retarded, and dont appreciate those things either.
Theres plenty more to it than simply offending people... it asks the question "Why believe"

Why post in another forum, like I said, this article I found (which i found interesting) is about christianity... it doesnt belong in any other forum BUT this one... christians just usually come to this forum, but not only christians can post here... this is for ANY DEBATE about christianity... its not like i went into the christian personal forums and posted this... if i did that, than it would be just an attack... but I meant this thread just as much for the atheists/muslims/jews/scientologists on the forums as I did for you christian types.

 

its called faith....religion is over rated..your relationship with god is personel.....through prayer and repenting you can achive a lot.

 

Because we know it's true.

And BTW, I looked through that thing. You quote the scripture, and add a useless comment.

 

no, it just takes me a while to respond somtimes...its a response to mui's right before both of ours...

and mui, what i mean by post in another forum, was the Holy BuyBull thinger... if you are so adament against the books, then why dont you do it? cause its convienient to find Christain opesed sites and rip their message off of them?


and yeah, why believe? cause its True

 

man you are 15 and so much smarter then mui..i give you props

 

wtf does imho mean