Small talk/chit chat/face-to-face human interaction with people you are not particularly close with... Are you good at it? Do you like it, are you good at faking it but hate it, or do you hate it and it is painfully obvious to anyone who attempts to exchange pleasantries with you? Do you have a hard time thinking of what to say around other people? Do interactions often seem not genuine or forced? Do you sometimes feel less articulate when attempting to explain yourself in spoken words? Are conversations with other people easy for you, or do they make you want to cringe? Perhaps neither of the two? In short: How comfortable do you feel in your own skin around other people?
I don't think not liking to pretend chit chat with strangers has anything to do with me being comfortable in my own skin. It has to do with me not really caring to get into a situation where I have to listen to somebody who needs an audience. I don't mind expressing pleasantries and greetings with anyone I come across. Just don't try to suck me into listening to crap I couldn't care less about...Please...
that's an awful lot of questions. in short, 95% of the time i hate it and am terrible at it. if you happen to catch me at the right moment, i can get in the zone and actually be quite good at it. this tends to coincide with the rare occasions that i am feeling social, so i actually kind of enjoy it at those times.
i always end up shocking people an say something that gets under their skin...i dont always plan to but my dark sense of humor takes over.
As Roseanne Roseannadanna would say, "Mr. Rat, you sure ask a lot of questions for someone from New York." I'm a fairly good conversationalist in person and one-on-one or in a small group with people I don't know. I'm at least as good or better on the phone or through text internet. Public speaking to larger audiences is a little different. I find that a little more challenging but still comfortable if I know my material well. In-person has more 'noise'. There are distractions because of the way a person looks, their accent, things going on in the nearby environment, etc. I find non-video phone or text internet communication easier in that respect.
I am better at it when I am drunk, but still not that good. I am much better at deep soul searching conversations with those close to me.
I chit chat every day with my homemakers, CNA, Nurse, My son and his friends. I have my good days and bad days for chit chatting. I must not do to bad with the teens because my son's friends tend to adopt me. Before I got this wound vac I use to go to a local coffee house and chit chat every Thursday and sometimes on weekends to listen or dance to music but I haven't done that in 6 months since that 4 week stay in the hospital and the 3 surgeries. There are days I love to socialize and there are days I am a total hermit.
I'm pretty comfotable with chit chat. Not that comfortable within own skin, but usually ok with chatting....sorry to throw any theories....that's me.
I am pretty good with individuals, but hate calling attention to myself in groups. I have found, over the years, that most people are more interested in what they have to say then in what you have to say. So, just lead them on and let them talk, and they are happy. Once you realize that everyone is as big of a a-hole as you are (not you in particular Rat), it gets pretty easy. Which brings me to my wife, she's not around so I can talk....she is an expert at talking to strangers, unbelievable. People just love her, in two seconds she is best friends with anyone she meets. I think it's because she is so genuine, by that I mean she tells it like it is and dam the torpedoes. But in a nice way, I guess.
When involved in chit chat it is sometimes amazing what you learn about someone that you would never have known if you had not taken the time to listen to them.
I never initiate small talk. I'm really shy and I just don't really care for it. I don't really get off on small talk even if I do know someone well - I like deep conversations well enough, although not to the point where it becomes pretentious - but otherwise I usually end up making dumb jokes rather than try to initiate a conversation. I'm not unfriendly though. I'm a very friendly person and if someone talks to me first I can talk to them. New people make me pretty uncomfortable though, so I wait for people to come to me.
It depends who it is, and I never can tell. Some people I just click with, and other people it's like the cold war all over again. I have been known just to talk and not judge if the other person is interested - but other people do that to me too. I don't complain. I don't like making chit chat with people I know I'll find it awkward with. This goes with family too.
It doesn't bother me, I actually enjoy speaking/interacting with people in person or otherwise. In general I think people are interesting, each with the capacity to think such as I - so I often imagine the ocean of thoughts/perceptions of the world that haven't even occurred to me and the best way to explore that is interacting with others. Plus you never know what great idea or mental discovery you might have just by starting a conversation with someone. I've once read, "no matter how smart you are every person you meet knows something you don't," - I hold that credo to high regard, so being social is fun for me. My $.02
Or how many productive relationships arise out of an initial chit chat. Being open-minded and seeing opportunity in other people (instead of harboring some other type of attitude) can open doors. Hall and Oates met in an elevator as they were escaping a battle of the bands concert that turned into a riot. It started with some chit chat in the elevator. Billy Davis Jr. was contacted by a dude in NYC who found his wallet on the subway. After a chit chat in-person with the guy, Billy found out he was the musical director for the Broadway show Hair. The 5th Dimension ended up doing some of the music for the show and did the now famous Aquarius tune.
I can talk to just about anyone for a short time. Here in the southern US we are known for our hospitality. I like people being kind and respectful of one another - builds the good vibes.
