What are your opinions if your partner cheated on you. Would you stay with them and try let them get your trust back, or would you never want to know them ever again. Personally i've never want to even look at them ever again.
To me it would just depend on the situation. 10+ years of marriage with kids involved then maybe it is worth a shot. Less then 3 years with no kids involved then hell no.
Well, my ex cheated on me - hence why he's my ex and if I see him, I get totally upset and start shouting, but then the guy I fancy cheated on his girlfriend, so I don't know what I'd do if anything happened between us then he cheated on me...*ponders*
Everybody is human, even cheaters, and to some extent are alowed mistakes. I wouldn't ever say I wouldn't forgive somebody, because it really would depend on the whole situation....
I dont think it would be healthy for me to forgive. there has to be lines... and that one is a pretty big, thick, clear line. There isn't really any excuse for cheating it jusrt sucks. Anyone who cheats doesnt care about how you feel enough to not cheat, and therefore, isn't worth the emotional strain or the time it takes to forgive her or him.
fortunately i have never been cheated on. however, if it ever happened, i would never be with that person again. cheating is low and terribly disrespectful.
if she cheats on me, it would be painful I am sure... I don't think i want anything to do with her ever again... but knowing Ottawa is so small... chances are... I will be reminded of her... just like me right now... So do anything within your power to prevent that... HAHA that was easy to say..
The only way to put an end to cheating is freedom in sex. We're not a monogamous species. Pure and simple.
Cheating is not about sex. Cheating is about the betrayal of trust, lying, sneaking around, etc. If you cannot be monogamous, do not date a person who wants a monogamous relationship. I've known people with all different levels of what is allowed vs. what counts as cheating -- if that works for you, great, but those limits have to established and agreed upon in between those involved in that relationship. That said, if a man cheated on me, he would be kicked to the curb in no time flat. In time, I would forgive him. It's not healthy to hold on to such resentment. But I would never forget, and would probably never give him the time of day ever again.
I agree that it depends on the situation. I mean, I'm married and I trust him more than anything, that's important. If he cheated, I'd DEFINITELY let him know how disappointed I was, especially because I've never ever cheated on anyone, never even thought about it, and so far as I'm concerned, other guys only have "those parts" for urinating, haha. And the fact that he KNOWS he could bring another girl home, in such a situation, and it would be an agreed decision on whether or not anything happened... so if he cheated on me, failing to bring the girl home, he would KNOW he did something very wrong.
I agree that "cheating" involves a betrayal of trust... sex is really irrelevant. I had a girlfriend in college who slept with a couple of other guys, but it was cool because I knew of it before hand and we had a trusting relationship. I wasn't threatened. She always came back, so we were fine. The only time I got really pissed was when she didn't warn me and was late coming by because if it. It made me worried enough to go by her place and check out what had happened. I walked in on them... OOPS! After he'd gone, I explained that I wasn't pissed because she'd slept with him... I was pissed because she made me worried that something was wrong in order to sleep with him. There's a world of difference. BTW, it was also the last time she chose to sleep with someone else during out relationship.
Point well-taken. But there's still the complicating factor that it isn't common to find people who are willing to share a non-possessive arrangement and still be emotionally close. Many figure the only way they can attain sexual realization is through cheating. There is a tremedous pressure to settle for "commited" arrangements around my milieux.
To err is human and sometimes nature doesn't make it easy not to err. The issue is can you handle it? Some can, some can't - there is no right answer. Only what fits for you.
I've only once given someone a chance after cheating on me and doing so was a huge mistake for the both of us. It was a long distance relationship and I wasn't able to trust and give of myself to her the way I am capable of, so it really didn't work out. In the end, I ended up having an affair and immediately leaving this girl right after, which worked out for the best for the both of us. As it turns out, I later found out that she had intentions of cheating again with an ex, so I made the right choice in moving on. I felt bad that I didn't break things off before the affair happened. I should've told the new girl to wait, but well, I just very quickly developed this amazing connection with her. As a general rule, if I ever feel the urge to cheat, I leave the person I am with because its not fair to stay with someone that you are not 100% committed to. At least thats how I feel as someone who only desires a monogomous relationship.
amen to that. the sexual acts in themselves aren't what would bother me so much... it's usually the reasoning behind it... usually the "cheater" is unhappy with the relationship: either things are bad, or they have personal issues to deal with (self-control, or self-esteem, or other things). since cheating is doing something outside the agreed-upon boundaries of the relationship, there is usually lying, unhappiness, wanting to get out of the relationship, and just... bad feelings all around. i wouldn't leave somebody because of them cheating, i'd leave them because the relationship was shit, and cheating is usually a sign of that. if it's something else... like they were drunk or did it on an impulse after a fight and honestly regretted it, we'd work through it.
I have been cheated on and I was one of the "I would never forgive him" people, but I did. We had a child, and were both young, so I looked the other way. It did not stop there, but I didn't walk away. I stayed for my own reasons, and then one day I decided I had enough so I divorced him. Now, I can honestly say that while I might forgive my current husband if he cheated I would not forget it, and it would end our marriage. We have talked about it and both feel the same way.
