Cant forget his past

After 8 months of being so drained and depression on what happened to me in january (explain later) I one day changed myself. the drain feeling which felt like an empty hole was gone and i felt a little lighter inside, yet im still stressed about every day life, Im back to curing and helping others. especially my ex. the first guy i fell in love with for the first time and I cant get over him, well i can but theres always a flaw i see in the men i date or meet now and i end it and return to him via versa with him. I dont mind it, I have fun with others but we end up back together and Im wondering why eh?

But....

he cant 'move on' from what happened in his past, every day he acts pathetic and sad about it (not in a mean way!) lots of things happened but the 2 major ones happened all at the same time to him. I got pregnant 9 months ago. Wanted to put it up for adoption and every thing. BUT he was the father and was freaked out and talked me into aborting it. I was IN love with him at the time and decided to go on and do it. Around that time a girl he had been liking for a while, decided she didnt want him and hooked up with his good buddy. He was dealing with a crisis while I was dealing with a crisis. He didnt talk to me afterwards until 3 months ago.

Now I know what you're thinking "wow hes a jerk" but Im over it finally but it seems now the tables have turned. HE cant forget about it. He regrets leaving me like that and apologizes. He looks so bummed out every day especially when he sees me. I offered to start fresh but he Says you cant forget about your past.

Now he has been trying to date this one girl. Im rolling my eyes and shaking my head as he tells me the feelings for her are not exactly the same anymore. She tells him thats shes busy when he wants to see her. Now girls....c'mon...women KNOW women and what does "Im busy" mean? it means "Im not interested" but I cant tell him that, I want to but I cant. He doesnt understand because hes a virgin at dating. Yes I was his only girl! hes about to realize it and get hurt again when the girl hes talking to is deeply in love with him. But he has a stubborn mind and wants to date others...

so should I let him wonder and get hurt? or give him warnings? cause either way, he ends up right back in my arms and I think i know why. ..The love is still there...hes just the blind one to see it

 

You murdered your baby just because some dumb kid wanted you to do it?

For shame!

 

You're a winner.

 

I can't believe you would want some jerk like that. I am sorry but I say let him fall on his ass. He left you when you needed him and you should be pissed about that. You shouldn't want to be with a guy who doesn't care enough about you to stay with you, when you had to do something at his request. He doesn't deserve to have you even as a friend. Its as much his fault for the past as it is yours. He needs to own up and take his half of the responsiblity!!

 

I don't buy one thing. If I was pregnant and I wanted to keep it then no man or god would get me to get rid of it, ever. And why would he give a shit if you gave it up for adoption or had a abortion? Either way he has nothing to do with it.

 

Ding ding!

 

I'm smashing my fingers with a hammer just so I can't type what I'm thinking...every response so far is a sugar coated version of what I want to say so I'll leave it at that.

 

Fixt.

 

Speak you mind its a free speech forum. She posted to get people opinions.

 

The guy (I can't call him a man) is nothing but a freakin' sperm donor!



Have fun, play safely, and don’t play with fire!
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look guys. I know it was stupid, but i was naive at the time, and i was in love with him. I wanted to be with him again. I doubted every minute of it but Im living with it every day now. I DO NOT want to go back there please. for 5 months it felt like a suicide count down, honestly, I dont want to be alive right now..I shouldnt be. But im getting better and saying stuff like that "baby murderer" Ive been called that and its really not cool.

Then I think if I did put it up, having his baby out there is a scared moment, it'll come back to us because I know it wouldve. Im glad but im not so glad that I got rid of it. Shit happens, its life. you learn from your mistakes and if it happens again, you know what to do now.

Now instead of criticizing me, give me advice please, because its turning around on him. I kinda wanted that, but hes being there for me now instead of then and i appreciate it because hes feeling it too

 

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Love isn't a excuse for anything. Your abortion or his attitude. Anybody that forces you to do something to your body that you didn't want to do shouldn't be in your life at all.

Honestly you sound like his back up. He wants to be with you when the other girls in his life that he wants turn him down. Have more pride in yourself then to allow him to turn you into a doormat, give him a swift kick to the bollocks and move on with you life, without him.

 

Why did I click that link?

 

Agreed he deserves a kick in the ass. I will not give you advice on how to get back with him cause he is a prick the doesn't deserve to be with anyone else.

 

i know when people use and not use me. Its a different feeling around him, around him I dont think about the doubts. we're working at this together. Im not giving him what he wants. im just being a friend.

i am going to stop talking tto him though. I moved on by myself, he should do it too.

 

Good for you. Leave the loser behind.

 

yep

 

lol I already totaled his car. and the dumbass didnt even know he was me who did it. and I cant tell you how many of my guy friends want to kick the shit out of him

 

You should have let them kick the shit out of him. Remember this you are part of the blame for the past. Sure he told you to get an abortion but you are the one who ultimately did it. You can't just blame him, when its partly your fault.