Can gay men be monogamous? MERGED

not that you should change partners on a weekly basis but is it reasonable to expect a lifetime of monogamy? i find myself growing bored after a few months, i think it's just the idea of something 'new' that excites me. thoughts?

 

I really think it is up to each person...but, there are many kinds of love...and one can love more than just one person.

 

personally, I am all about monogamy.

without monogamy, i feel like relationships are just about sex.

 

oh...I was talking about the forms of love without sex...Im sorry..

 

I've been monogamous for 7 years now, and I'd loooooooooove to have another partner, male or female, but that dosn't mean I don't love my wife anymore. Monogamy dosn't seem to natural to me right now, but I'm going to continue to do my best.

 

The 7-year-itch is FOR REAL!

 

I am pretty sure that monogamy was culturally imposed and is none of the natural human traits. Monogamy made a lot of sense, too.

First, it made sure that a male was not raising other people's offspring.

Second, it reduced or even eliminated the risk of sexually transmitted diseases.

On an emotional level, monogamy secured m2f relationships and reflected the society's primary discourse of 'ownership' into the love and sexual practices of its members. 'My wife - really meant, only I get to be sexual with her. She is somewhat my 'property'.

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Monogamy or not is something that you want to decide for yourself. It works for some and it sure does not work for many, since cheating among hetero, bi and gay humans is so well-spread.

I am all for an open relationship, coz it works for my partner and myself. I would hate the notion of not being able or allowed to do, what I want to do, just because I am partnered. I would also hate the notion that my partner is somehow 'owned' by me and that I am in sole charge of his sexual life.

And I would hate to lie and be lied to. I would equally hate the go on checking and get involved into all of the childish play associated with it.

Just my 2 cents. You go as you find fit.

KD

 

For me, monogamy is the only way to go. It makes my relationship with my boyfriend so much more wonderful.

 

I agree with KewlDude on this one. My gf and I have a very open relationship. Open enough to share each others partners at times, or keep them to ourselves.

It seems to me that if monogamy were natural, then this wouldn't be an issue. We'd all be monogamous.

I think manogamy came to be a social issue because of government interference (what else?), which of course would include the Catholic Church in its power days. At the same time kings and lord would marry as many as they saw fit for political reasons, it made fiscal sense to limit the serfdom to one man one woman. The lords were, after all, responsible for feeding these people. If the guy was out spreading his seed among the willing, there would have been too many mouths to feed, less taxes to collect, etc.

The Bible even tells of the Judaic kings having hundreds of wives and concubines. Wives and concubines were permitted, it was adultry, or nailing some one else's wife or concubine, that got you into deep trouble. It wasn't until the new testament that one wife became a standard, and that only became acceptable 1400 years ago.

Are we meant to? Probably by nature, yes!

 

How do you guys feel about monogamy? To me there is nothing more right or satisfying than to be with my boyfriend ONLY, and no one else. I mean what's so wrong with it. The straights constantly preach it for their ranks, not that many of them obey it. But who says we can't. I believe that monogamy is the healthiest and most satisfying lifestyle there is for both heterosexuals and homosexuals. Does anyone agree with me?

 

I'd like to be monogamous.

 

i totally agree

 

It would depend a lot on the guy, really. I haven't tried open polygamy yet, I'd kinda like to find out if it is actually workable, but I wouldn't want it to end up being like some experiment.

At the moment I'd be grateful for one partner, really.

 

Yeah I think I feel the same way. I think monogamy seems like it is be the best lifestyle for me.

 

One of the most wonderful dreams I've ever had was about me being in a polygamous relationship...in reality I don't know how much it would actually work for me, I think I would crash what COULD have been a good thing into the ground with jealousy and such. But I find nothing morally wrong with it, if it works for you and for them then go for it I say.

 

I could never be in a polygamous relationship. I'd just get too jealous.

If there were any sort of emotions involved beyond sex, anybody would.

 

In my opinion. Polygamy in any form is morally wrong. But thats just my opinion. Another thing is that straights are constantly giving us a hard time about not being monogamous. I just wish more gay couples would see the advantages of monogamy and show those people that we can have just as good and healthy relationships as they can. And besides so many of them are hippocrites. They often have multiple sexual partners and we're the ones fighting to gain the right to marry.

 

yeah i couldn't do the whole polygamy thing..

 

I agree with the idea of monogamy. It's what I am best suited to. I could never imagine myself with multiple partners.

 

Hi, I decided to join a forum like this to find out from other folks what their views are on the possibility of 2 gay men being in a real, committed, loyal ltr. Is it possible? I am asking this obviously because in my 38 years I have yet to find it. The promises are always made, the love is always proclaimed and in a few months they need to start 'seeing' other men. I don't get it, perhaps I am just really naive but when I truly love someone I just don't think about other men. Period. Perhaps I am just a Victorian reject, lost in time and alone. Any words?