Hello everyone! I would be really glad if someone could help me out of this. I have been with my boyfriend for ten months now and we have never had a regular sex life, but in the past four months it has become even worse. He never feels like having sex and I am not talking about sex once a week, which would perfectly7 satisfy me, I am talking sex in general. The last time we did it was about two weeks ago, but he didn't finish and I was disappointed again. Before that we hadn't had sex in like three and a half months. It is silly to think that he doesn't masturbate, but I am wondering why the Hell would you want to do that if you have a girlfriend, who likes sex. I have talked about this with him and he says that he has too much stress at work (which is true, he works six days a week, 12 hours a day) and the only thing he wants after he gets home is to lie down and relax and do nothing. But this is not ok with me. I often think that I am not attractive to him, but he tells me not to think nonsence. I am 25 and he is 31 and I think that we are too young to live like a brother and sister. By the way, I am not a native english speaker, so excuse any mistakes which I have surely made
sex & intimacy is an important part of the relationship..... if that is missing your not going to feel fullfilled. so was there ever a time when you had very passionate good sex.... maybe you are more like brother & sister & could handle being close freinds.
Passionate sex? Maybe once or twice... He told me he is not a very sexual person and he's always been so. This is the only thing I don't like about him though, he's a really great man otherwise.
where r u from elenabili ? I understand u I have a high sex drive and my girl doesn't I get really up tight when she doesn't want to have sex . And yes it is wrong to live like a brother sister thing.
I meant HE lacks it. Last night he said that he will change his job if things don't get better there, in terms of pressure. I am sure that he loves me, but what's wrong then???
If he truly is under that much pressure at work, then that could make him not want sex. This would be especially true if you do not see him play or enjoy life in any other way. In this case, he needs your support, and he needs a different job. You also have to consider yourself, however, and think about if things will ever improve. btw, your English is quite good. I am impressed.
Mighty thor, God bless you I am also hoping that it's all due to stress at work and for the moment I am being just patient. About my English- I have studied in the UK for 5 years, so don't be so surprised. I am flattered though
Just give him time. My boyfriends the same way but he still finds time for us to have sex. We have sex about 2 times a day with one or two blow jobs. We used to have sex like 7 times a day but they were short and not so passionate and he didnt work as much but now he works like everyday for a long time and he'll come over go in my room sit for 5 minutes then we leave to go smoke for 20 minutes to a half hour then we come back to my house have sex then he'll sleep for a few hours then he wakes up we have sex again then go smoke again then come back watch tv for a little bit then he'll want a blow job then he'll fall back a sleep. Yep thats about it. Occasionally we will go somewhere but thats like once in a great while. Just talk with your boyfriend. Me and mine do and our relatrionship has gotten so much better now that we can open up to eachother and tell eachother our needs that way were both happy. So IMO just talk to him some more and let him know that its not fare to you and you want sex atleast twice a week. But sometimes sex isnt the only thing in a relatiopnship. So what if you dont have sex as much as you would want to. I wouldnt mind at all if my boyfriend didnt want to have sex or anything for a while because as long as im with him in happy and i love him for him not his sex or anything else. Just him. So yeah just talk and let him know your feelings. If he loves you he will listen and take care of your needs and you will have to take care of his needs as well.
lol ^ that is in no way related to what elenabili was talkin about. i mean shes talkin about no sex for months.. anyway, i agree with mighty_thor all the way.. your bf probably just doesnt feel like having sex cuz hes too tired/stressed from work. doesnt mean he doesnt want u or anything. however, if u are unhappy, u should tell him. i hope things improve in the future, cuz if u're too frustrated u'll end up wanting to be with other pple =/
No i know i was just letting her know that my boyfriend works just as much as her boyfriend and no matter what he still finds time for sex. But i agree with you also.
why isnt he interested in sex? he alreayd told you, hes stressed. for a lot of people, too much stress kills their libido. and for a lot of guys, masturbation is necessary to get rid of perpetual hard ons but it isnt necessarily super erotic, and masturbating requires waaay less work than fucking someone else. its kind of funny because if htis was a guy saying his girls sex drive had died, wed just be telling him to suck it up. anyway, to the original poster, my personal take on it is that you should just be patient and understanding with him. masturbate when you feel the urge. do romantic things for him when you can, make his home life less stressful not more an dmaybe his libido will increase again. and some people simply have very low sex drives, who knows
Working 72 hours a week at a stressful job could do it. Really you just have to talk it through with him. If he feels work is the problem then work on solving the problem. Downsize your life a little and spend more time together.
that is true tired/stressed that is enough try to be quit and soft whine he relax he will do what u want just give hem time. wish u happy live.
lol. I think in our culture we expect guys to be ready and eager to go at it all the time..yet they're facing an ever increasing amount of stress, frustration, etc. And nothing kills libido faster than work...really...it's horrible for the sex life, and not just a lame excuse. I'm usually pretty horny and want sex a lot, but this week work has been total hell, and I have no sex drive what so ever. I feel exhausted, mentally and physically, and sex is the last thing on my mind. I hardly even feel like kissing my boyfriend. It's like that part of my being has been shut down temporarily so that I can deal with the stress and frustrations of life that I'm currently going through, or else all my of energy stores have been depleted and I really just don't have it in me. I still adore my boyfriend, I still think he's sexier than ever, but I'm just not feeling sexual right now, and haven't been for a few days now. Just give him time. Maybe help him deal with the stresses of his life right now. Have a nice meal and a cold beer ready for him after work, give him a massage, light some nice relaxing candles when he's watching TV, sit and laze around with him. Show that you support and care for him even when the sex is lacking. Maybe he has a lot on his mind...so be an unjudging ear for him to unload on. Don't be critical and take the things he says personally, just listen and try to understand. As a woman I feel like the emotional and intellectual parts of the relationship are even more important than the sexual part, though it may not be the same for guys, we need to remember that they still have emotional needs, even if they're not as obvious and demanding as our own. In the meantime, be the most loving, caring girlfriend you can possibly be, and don't let this eat away at your self-esteem. Use this time to build your confidence and do things you enjoy, or even better, try to find non-sexual activities that you can both enjoy together if he's up to it. And I think the fact that he mentioned switching jobs to solve this problem was a really great thing for him to do. Just be patient and compassionate, and it seems like this should work itself out in time. Good luck
