Beer rep when you can't drink beer blah

I have a friend who works for a local brewery giving free beer at events she can't call in sick ever and is down with the flu): I stepped in for her a few years ago when she wanted a vacation and I needed cash because it pays 75 bucks an hour and is only two-three hours long and you get to meet cute guys and you get to drink beer all night and get free drinks afterwards because people think you're the shizzznit for giving away free beer but the down side is you gotta dress kinda slutty and get hit on by drunk guys. Anyway she went to my office and got some forms for me that I needed desperatley when I was sick, brought me pot when i was naseaus and is a good friend so i told her i'd do her shift for her on wednesday night. i need the money right now anyway but the bad thing is i can't drink): so it's gonna bite. i think i'll take a few darvocets just so im in a beer girl kinda mood but man i really dont wanna do it): i'm trying to get my other friend to do it for her instead but she is only down here for another week arghhhhh do you ever agree to things and then are like oh fuck why did i do that?

 

Every fucking day.

 

Robert make not do much worc at work?

 

Who you be?

Why you don't have job?

 

did you already take your darvs, hon?

 

yeah hah can you tell by my lack of sentence structure and constant mispellings...oh wait no that's me sober too d; I'm kinda looking foward to it now and if I like it i might ask if I can get like one shift a week. I quit my second job two months ago so yeah...

 

my have job me just be having debt too

 

Kelvin buy Jerseys, Cliff put meat out and clean room, thank for have debt Lynseeee. I apricicat these.

peas.

 

i figured so.

i have a friend who was a beer rep. they have all the coolest shit. they have this awesome float that's two chairs with a cooler in the middle that atteches them, and they go floating down the river drinking beer. or they take it to the lake and just hang out. good times.

 

i don't even know how to fuck up my sentence structure on purpose...

 

hah that's so cool! This isn't that shnazzy last time I just sat near a keg and talked to people and gave them free beer and bottle opener keychains for two hours. It was fun talking to people but I'm just a little more reserved then I used to be so I don't know how good I'll be this time):

 

linsi buy many to things and now have bills. beer help lynsi debt.

think u

 

too bad i'm not gonna be there. i'm a riot.

 

damn get that kid on a bottle and come out and play KC!

 

Why you no drink can?

 

no shit. my precious little porker eats so much that i can't get any pumped and frozen. so i can't go out. i wonder what people would think if i took her with me...


"bartender! make it a double, i'm drinking fer TWO!"

 

mono...

 

I had liver failure and now my gallbladder doesn't work and I have pancreatitis no drinking for a few months): blahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

 

hah no that's Traci (epiphany) I have the EB virus which is kinda like mono but attacks your organs too it's a fucking blast!!!

 

How much did she weigh when she was born. I saw the pics she's so gorgeous.