And I can`t bear to tell you the reason why I`m shuddering when I breathe isn`t because it`s how I breathe but because when I`m with you I`m so nervous that I can`t help but shake, inside and out. And I can`t bear to tell you why I`m such a bitch to you sometimes is that I`m trying to hide how much I really care about you and screaming inside that I want you so badly but I know it`s so wrong. And I can`t bear to tell him that we had sex, even though I know he`s always suspected it anyways, because I don`t want it to be weird between any of us because I think you 2 are the only guys I will ever trust completely. And I can`t bear to admit to you that everytime you mention another girl around me, I secretly hate you for about 5 seconds and then admit to myself that you don`t think of me as any more than a sister. And I can`t bear to tell you that I hate that you`re such a flirt and that I hate you for caring about me the way you do and that my favorite place in this world was laying in bed with you tonight, my head on your chest as it rose and fell as you talked about meaningless things while I listened to your heartbeat in the dark.
