How do you tell someone that you don't want so many calls without hurting them? Is there any tactful way to do that especially if you would not want to foul anything up with them? He/she is a wonderful person but it's too much. Do you make up an excuse? Or do you tell them honestly? What would you want others to do for you - the brutal truth as you've got no time for bullshit, or a gentle lie because you figure your read-between-the-line ability is superhuman?
Well that's a tough one. They always say honesty's always the best policy, so I'd go with that. Just tell them that you really enjoy talking to them, but you would really like it if they didn't call you so much. Make sure you ad that that doesn't mean you like them any less or anything, but you need space between conversations, simply becaus eyou run out of things to tlk about, and you need time to do other things. Hope that helps and good luck.
Thanks. These are hypothetical situations, but also ones that I have been in in the past. You're right, it was difficult. Since I've also once been on the horrible receiving end where I had no honesty and no answers given to me whatsoever, I opted for being as honest and gentle as possible. ..I hope. I was wondering what others would do, any past experiences of the same thing? Though I understand how difficult it is to be honest, I'm not sure if zero reconciliation is best.. even if speaking for your own peace of mind. But that's just me.
Well, I want people to be honest with me. I've had too many instances happen to me in the past where people all of a sudden quit talking to me, including not answering my phone calls (now that we live in the age of caller id, etc.) and never got any explanation why, not even slightly. Was I calling them 'too much'. I rather doubt it, and even if I was, people need to be up front and honest with people instead of hiding behind a bunch of fucking electronic gizmos. That's my opinion.
just say that youre busy and really need some time give them a set time to call when you will be available and able to give them your full attention
answere to Charise:I wish this applied to all our relations to people.I can take the trueth,just give me the chance.
"Stop calling me so much." "My phone plan is weird and the calls are getting expensive, so stop calling me so much." "It turns out I have a throat disorder and can only say 1,000 words a day. Stop calling me so much." Or just don't pick up the phone.
Sure. It's usually better with some closure. BUT - then why do people do it anyway? Even those who claim that they care? Is it really so wrong in a different context? Are there situations where a goodhearted person just doesn't have the strength to come out with it and be honest? Or is it really much better that way? And if you're the self-titled Avoidance Master, was it easier? Or was it harder? Did you have a stalker/psycho on your hands or what? I'm just curious to hear from the other side, and other points of view.
I have never understood why people avoid one another. I am one who faces situations up front and I tell people exactly what i going on in my mind, and when something happens between another person and I, and they react in a stupid way trying to avoid me, I don't let that bother me because it is their problem, not mine. I think people just avoid one another because it is an easy short-term solution to a short-term problem, and yes, I think that there are certain situations that are deserving of avoidance. I even have friends that 'cut-off' my calls on their cell phones or not even pick up when I know they aren't busy. Avoidance is just plain immature and stupid, if you would ask me.
