At what age?

I hate it when people say something about teen pregnancy. I hate how people make it seem like teen pregnancy is such a bad thing. Please tell me where it says you have to be certain age to have a kid? I really would like someone to tell me that because ive never seen anything that says it is agaisnt the law to be a parent at the age of 17.

 

i no that people will give me their opinions. and it is hard to be a parent at a young age but i just dont like the fact that people make such a big deal out of it. i think as long as you are a good parent then people shouldnt give you crap because of your age.

 

I think it's much more about maturity and ability than it is about age. I know some 15 year olds that make great parents. And I know some 40 year olds who should never be allowed to have kids. If you have ability to care for your child and meet their needs, physical, emotional, financial, spiritual, then go for it. But if you can't put a roof over your own head or provide a meal for yourself, or make a sound decision, than I'd wait before I jumped into parenting.

Kathi

 

lol... it doesn't matter HOW old you are, people are gonna judge you. If you put a hat on your kid, they'll snatch it off & tell you you're trying to bake the baby's noodle. If you DON'T put a hat on, they'll scream at you for trying to frostbite the kiddo. Being younger just makes you look as if you "need" their advice all the more. I turned 20 six weeks before my son was born. I'm 32 now, and people are STILL dishing out "advice" as if I haven't got a clue!.

I'm sorry, but it seems to come with motherhood. Welcome to the "club."
love,
mom

 

It's weird, my son was born when I was 20 and his mother was 18, and I dont recall one person, ever, who had anything to say about it. At least not to my face. Im sorry to hear this isnt the case for you Green but really you shouldnt let other peoples opinions bring you down!

 

No ones said anything bad about my pregnancy so far but I'm not showing yet or anything, and I'm lucky enough to know some really awesome people.
I think when people look down at us pregnant teens it's because at our age THEY weren't mature enough for a child so they automatically think that we we wont be either. It's just people not being able to think outside themselves.

 

Welcome to parenthood. It's not just because of your age...once you have a child, everyone seems to have an opinion to push on you. Get used to it!

 

I'm almost 30 and I still get it. Of course, it doesn't help that I still look 20....

One lady was shocked when she found out I had two kids. I was TOO young to have two kids. I said "lady I'm almost 30 how old do you want me to be?!?" She thought I was just out of high school.....people won't keep their mouths shut, it's just the way it is.

Just smile and say "thanks for your concern, we're great!"

 

i'm feeling pretty young at the moment, i'm 26 and will be 27 when my baby is born. i think that it's easy to feel too young about being a parent, because i'm sure many of you still feel a little like kids yourselves. i know i do!

 

Hell I'll give you my opinion.

It's all about MONEY everything all of it. Do you have enough money to support your child in today's standerds? If the answer is no then you don't fit into today's standerds so people look down on you. I would say maturity has something to do with it, but after meeting many people after i graduated, most people don't mature past high school, so throw that out the window....

J.C

 

People are silly about things like money. "If you don't have money, you can't be a good mother" etc. Money can't buy you a happy child.
My partner and I only just make ends meet, even though he has a full time job. I'm on the benefit so I can be a stay at home mum. I'm also starting up an internet business. I agree that less money can mean more stress but I'm used to living with no cash and don't see why it would affect my parenting ability.

 

I do too, and I'll be 35 this year!! I can tell you that it was hard giving up my "free life" when I had my kids at almost 30. It was actually quite a shock for me because I did have my 20s with basically no responsibility. I was glad I finished my schooling before kids came too, just made it easier on me because although I stay home with my kids now, I know I will always be able to support them on my own if anything happens to hubby. I think kids just come at the time that is right for us...that could be 17, 30, or even 45...all children are blessings!

 

i agree entirly. when i was little, my dad was unemployed and my mom made clothes at home that she sold in a nearby store on commercial drive in vancouver. we lived in little houses or suites, bought everything from the thrift store. i didnt have any fancy toys, my parents made most of mine. my dad made me things like a wooden trike and a wagon and my mom made me stuffies, as well as most of my clothes (i was a very well dressed kid lol). she breastfed and cloth diapered and carried me in a sling and bathed me in a rubbermaid tub and i slept in their bed.
we didnt have cable tv (just the local channel so my dad could watch the hockey game) and i didnt go to daycare and i was never babysat.
i had the best quality of life, despite my parents being dirt poor, because they were always there spending time with me and taking me places.
money was a bit stressful for them, but theyre really happy that they could give me such a good childhood.

 

Sorry, but it IS about money. If you can't support yourself, then you really should wait to have children. If you're young, then there is no way that you can support a child. What if something happens to your child? What if he/she develops autism and needs a special diet? These things can happen and you must be financially stable to handle these things. Most young parents do make more than say $10-$15 an hour. That is not enough to support a child. I make $14 an hour and I couldn't imagine supporting a child. A lot of young parents get support from social services to help them out. I hate to generalize, but reality tells me that milk costs like $4.00 a gallon. If for some reason the mama can't or won't breast feed and needs formula, then that is a HUGE expense. I think young people can be wonderful parents, but parenting skills don't pay the bills. Sorry if this is offensive, but it is reality. Also, I am tired of hearing about SOME young parents who get help through social services, but yet I can't get any help to pay for school. I guess I should have a baby so that I can go to school for basically nothing.

 

I'm sorry but that is crap. My dp makes $8/hour and I make $200/week. We have plenty of money to pay our bills with some left over to save. We are going to be able to build a house next year MORTGAGE FREE. It's all about how you live. We don't have car payments, cable, buy clothes all the time, etc. Our kids are healthy, have everything they need. But, yeah, we are dirt poor.

 

maybe where you live, but here in the northest of the USA the cost of living is insane. Rent is about $1000/month. Buying a house at $200,000 is a steal. Glad that you are doing it, but do you live in an area where the cost of living is cheaper?

 

I was pregnant at 18 and a half. my husband was 17 at the time. many factors have to be considered when dealing as a young parent but most of all one has to really find a way to get on their feet and make a life for their baby/ family right away which can be hard for a lot of young peopel who havent even had to take care of themself for very long at all and stil rely on others for a lot of their own care.

 

Sugrmag... I think that Bumble's original point is valid though. Yeah there are places that you can live on a whole lot less, and you CAN make-do for many many things. Heck, it wasn't until this past year that DH & I technically rose above "poverty level" ourselves... and we STILL have one car, one television, and secondhand wardrobes - things so many people we know feel are unbearable "hardships."

BUT... I do feel that it would be better if people waited to have their children until they are financially independent. I don't mean they have to be rich, and I don't mean everything has to be brand new & super expensive. But being able to care for the little ones they bring into the world ON THEIR OWN would be a great step. It's hard on EVERYONE when you don't... I've been there myself! (married, got pregnant right away, and lived with my parents 'til DS was 6 months old) Unfortunately, things happen... and parents have to learn these things "on the fly" as a result. So, we all do what we've got to to get by.
love,
mom

 

homeschoolmama, i know, we are financially independent. We don't rely on anyone but ourselves. We just don't need a lot. Two cars that are 7 years and 12 years old, no cable, no cell phones, cook from scratch, no day care and our rent is less than $500/month. But SOME people would like to think that we should make more because we are capable to. But, then I wouldn't be able to homeschool and my youngest would be in daycare....