Are You An Assertive Woman???

Are you an Assertive Woman? Do you know how to be assertive?

Your body communicates as clearly as your words. Your style of emotional expression, posture, facial expressions, and voice quality are all tremendously important in becoming an assertive woman.

What do you think??

 

I'm still not as assertive as I want to be, but I'm working on it.


I found the below article to be helpful!!

A body image inventory
Check yourself from head to toe, as you probably do frequently during the day, but this time measure yourself on a scale of assertiveness.

For example, women often have a problem making eye contact because many of us have been taught that it is more feminine to look away or look down. In our society, direct eye contact and holding your head erect is essential when you want to appear assertive and interested. This is not the same as staring at someone; look into the eyes, then perhaps look away for a few seconds or drop your gaze slightly so that you focus on the mouth of the person speaking to you.

Practice making good eye contact with someone as you are talking and be aware of any differences in the quality of your communication. Are you listening better? Are you conveying more interest and receiving more attention to what you are saying?

What do your facial expressions say about you? Many women find it easy to smile and to demonstrate warmth, but when it comes to expressing anger or disapproval, they may do it with a smile. Use a mirror to see how you look when you are expressing anger, joy, sadness, fear, and other emotions. Get feedback from your friends, too. Practice making your face and head look assertive: make direct eye contact, feel the control over your facial muscles, and hold your head high.

While looking in the mirror, check out your posture. Changing your posture can change the way you feel about yourself. Try assuming a passive stance. Then change to an assertive stance -- lean slightly forward with feet solidly grounded. Enjoy feeling centered with your body. Learn how close to stand or sit next to another person. This is your optimal distance.

To find your optimal distance, stand across the room from a friend, face each other, and walk slowly toward your friend as she remains stationary. Make eye contact with her the whole way and then stop as soon as you feel that you have reached a comfortable distance from her.

Notice your gestures. Can you still talk if someone ties your hands behind your back? Are your gestures so distracting that they prevent you from delivering an assertive message? Or do you create a passive or indirectly aggressive image by holding your arms rigidly against your body, or folding them across your chest? Being able to move your hands and arms expansively demonstrates confidence and freedom.

What sort of image do you convey by your style of dress? Dressing appropriately for a job interview increases your chances of getting the job. But do you realize that you can dress assertively too? Dressing in a favorite outfit can give you that extra touch of confidence to help you be assertive. Whenever you are feeling down, you can be assertive with yourself by wearing an outfit that doesn't let you fade into the woodwork but attracts attention and helps you to project an outgoing appearance without being loud or coarse.

One of the most vital tools you can develop in becoming assertive is your voice. If you have a tape recorder or a friend to listen and give feedback, evaluate your voice. A lower-pitched voice is more often associated with assertion. When analyzing your voice, gauge its volume. Are you afraid to speak up for fear you will sound masculine? A woman can be loud and clear and still sound like a woman.

Women often give away the fact that they are nervous or anxious by speaking too rapidly. Your rate of speech needs to be evenly paced, not too fast or slow. Sometimes a slower rate is good in order to emphasize an important idea.

Finally, be aware of the quality of your voice. Do you tend to whine when feeling helpless, powerless, or manipulative? Or, when nervous, does your voice become raspy and harsh? Practice asking for favors without whining. Try saying things that you are normally uncomfortable in saying, without a harsh, rasping tone. People will listen to and respect a full-bodied voice and tune out a squeaky, strident one.

You do not need a college education or a big vocabulary to be assertive and make yourself heard. If you practice the behaviors suggested here and keep your messages simple, direct, and spontaneous, you will be on the way to becoming an assertive woman.

 

You bet your ass I'm assertive. I don't implement games and I don't play along with games, I like everything said straight and laid out on the table. Take it or leave it... good day sir!

 

no I'm not and it doesn't really matter to me because i am who i am and unless i feel like i am being treated unfairly in a major way I'm never assertive adn that's okay I'm much more comftrable and secure when others make decisions for me in all aspects of my life.

 

then I decide that you get on your way to the airport and catch the next flight to vermont

 

I like your decision

 

I am definatly assertive. Sometimes, even aggressive. I hold my head up high and tell people just what I think. No head games, no subtle hints, the truth. I come on awfully strong to some people, but even those who don't like my assertiveness, respect my honesty.

 

I'd say I'm assertive. Maybe too much so. I don't have patience to deal with people who can't make up their mind, or make decisions (I mean relatively simple decisions... it shouldn't take you an hour to decide which bookcase to buy when you've already said you like the cheaper one better, gah!)

I think I'm too assertive because, well, I don't want to be the pants in a relationship. I think I probably give off the impression that I want to be the one in control, all the time. Not so, I just... am an impatient gal. I want the guy to wear the pants, yet I tend to be the more dominating person in pretty much every friendship/relationship I've had so far. No problem with that happening in friendships, but not what I want in relationships. mmm rambly.

 

Oh, hell yes, I'm assertive. I'm bold, energetic. I look into people's eyes when I talk to them. I use good diction when I speak, a firm but friendly tone. I wear bright bold colours. I stand with good posture.

I don't understand how a person can NOT be assertive.

 

(Maggie chuckes to herself.)

Damn right I'm assertive. I've learned you really can't count on ANYONE other than yourself to advocate for you consistantly. You owe it to yourself to let your needs and wants be known, and to advocate those needs and wants.

 

Agreed with Maggie and Holly.

I'm usually concise about what I want and need. I am trying to change the yelling/aggression thing (learned from Dad).

 

Yeah... is assertive the same as knowing how to get what you want?

If so... yes, I am an assertive woman.

*giggles*

 

i dont know...i'm rather shy when it comes to be outspoken and that....not part of my personality i guess.

 

I've become a lot more assertive since I've become a mother. I'm still not as assertive as I'd like to be when it comes to dealing with fellow assertive people, but I'm getting much better at it with time.


Peace.

 

no doubt its important to be assertive, and I can say i've become a lot more assertive as i've grown. i also think its important to be at a happy medium, to know when to not be too assertive and know how to listen to other people as well, and i realize this was also mentioned in that article.

I think some people may get confused in thinking assertive means you must be demanding at all cost. if that is the case no one will listen to you because you aren't' listening to anyone else. patience is important in all relationships. people have different ways of thinking and different points of view, so naturally we're all going to have a different idea of how things should be. so in this case it is important to be assertive when making your opinion known, and its important to hear out others as well.
i sit right in the middle. i tend to be the mediator

 

I'm not as assertive as I could be...was raised to be a caregiving kind of person...(yuck!...that has its time and place, but not all the time, and not when it sacrifices my best interests), and I can't always get that out of my system...I've always been the one to back off in favor of other people's needs...but, after the last two yrs. of settling very complicated family issues, I have lot more faith in myself, and am learning to stick up for myself, take care of myself, and ask for what I need. A very good lesson indeed!!

 

I'm getting there haha. A lot of being assertive is just learning that you do have the right to stand up for yourself.

 

I am assertive but tend to approach it in a very calm way. I do not tend to roar much as I have found that many times that is counter productive. It is far harder to argue with a reasonable and calm person.

 

Not as much as I would like to be, but I have gotten much better. Thing is I'm a natural born leader and pretty opinionated, ask Maggie (hehee) but ever since I was a little tot, my parents (father in particular) squashed that trait in me and basically made me scared to death to speak my mind. It wasn't until I met Jeremy who helped me to come out of my shell some, by supporting me and encouraging me to express myself, even if he or anyone else doesn't agree. But I tend to get passive aggressive sometimes. Ehhh at least I know it and I'm working on it. Sometimes, it is best to know when to keep your mouth shut too.

 

I'm assertive...more so when I feel I need to be. I let alot of things roll off my back, because I tend to be a really laid back person...sometimes to a fault. But I have no problem standing up for myself and letting people know how I feel. When I was a teenager I was alot more afraid to speak up about things but I guess age/experiance brought more confiedence and it's just natural now.