Are there people who physically cannot meditate?

Hi all, I have a very poor emotional IQ (EQ). In fact, it's in the lower 1%. I can't stay motivated on my schoolwork very long. My IQ is in the upper 0.5% and I'm very ambitious. EQ is more important than IQ for academic success, however.

Well apparently, mindfulness meditation can help build EQ. I tried to meditate several times but I couldn't. I kept sailing towards my constant thoughts. I got sexually aroused a few times. I ended up masturbating instead of meditating.

First, I relaxed my body. Then I blocked out any thoughts I was having, often by visualizing putting an X over the thoughts. I tried to think about nothing, but some thought kept catching my mind. Sometimes, I even forgot I was meditating!

 

i cant empty my mind for 5minutes. I can do yoga and tai chi, other arts. but really cant sit still for long enough periods of time to call it meditation..

 

I can sit still for long periods of time, however, like you, I cannot empty my mind for very long. Do you have the lack of emotional control that I mentioned above?

 

I dont know.. Im an Aries and we are naturally wound up. like im missing something,, So if I do shut my eyes it wouldnt be for long, unless Im sleeping ..

ive have used masturbation to relax, end session with reflections and controlled breathing..

But havent really meditated sat there like Buddha or nothing for long periods of time..

just this message alone I was up and down, in and out of this room least 10 times..

 

What is an Aries? Isn't it a constellation? Why are you moving around so frequently? Personally, I have a strong liking for cozy spaces. I do get bored quickly, though.

 

Maybe you can't empty your mind, but sitting alone with your thoughts is a postive thing. It exercises the imagination. Meditation is good for focus, which can be lost as we grow up and can't quiet our minds. School is pointless for the most part, your just reguirgtating facts. Find something you have a passion for and work with it.

 

Yes, I agree. I have no focus though, I go from one interest to the next and can't finish anything.

Is it possible for me to meditate? How to I control my thoughts and my libido so that I can completely clear my mind?

 

I have wondered if it isn't possible for people in severe pain, even though it's something that is suggested to relax and help with pain. Emotional and physical (so I have heard.)

However for me, if I can manage to clear my insanely random shot gun mind than my thoughts go to the pain I am in. I cannot sit and not hurt badly. Does it count if I have to take a lot of medication to relax and than try?

I don't know a lot about meditation, obviously.

 

One interesting technique I learned from a yoga book once is to light a candle, sit in the dark and stare at it for 60 seconds. After that close your eyes; you'll still see the flame in your mind, most likely at a spot right in between your eyes. Keep your eyes closed and focus on the flame until it disappears from your vision. That improved my focus like crazy after only doing it a few times.

If you're a really intelligient person, you probably have a lot of energy that never gets released because other people don't think or do things quite the same as you. Find something that you love doing, that absolutely drives you. Find 10 things youre passionate about so you won't get bored, for that matter. I get bored really easily so I'm always working on a million different projects at one time; it keeps me productive without getting too bored with one thing.

I wouldn't really worry about the meditation. I can't meditate for shit. i have a really unorthodox form of meditation where i can put myself in this realm of timelessness when i'm out in nature..like if I focus on a tree, my mind becomes as still as the tree. If that makes sense. sitting like buddha and emptying your mind doesn't work for everyone, you'll find something that works for you eventually.

 

also from what i understand meditation is really meant to coincide with yoga...your mind and body are supposed to be in perfect harmony, so if you're doing meditation without the yoga maybe your body just cant relax enough to let your mind relax. Then again, i do yoga all the time and i still can't meditate for shit.

 

Thanks for that information Meliai, quite useful and sounds worth trying.

 

The candle idea sounds good, I'll try it out.

 

It didn't go any better than without the candle. I do like candles though. Anyone else?

Also, I am curious about something. Lately, I have noticed a lot of dissociation during my meditation and my dreaming has been extremely lucid (my dreams were very lucid, but got even more lucid). What I mean by dissociation is that instead of my highly structured thoughts, I get very random and unstructured thoughts. I believe every thought that comes to mind and never stop at any. Does this still count as meditation?

 

I used to have that problem. I'd like to recommend "detachment meditation." Instead of having to continually fight the thoughts that keep coming in your head, try embracing each thought briefly, then let them go. For example, when a thought comes in my head while doing this type of meditation, I'll just tell myself "I'll think about that later," then I go back to thinking about nothing, or I just wait until the next thought comes, and I repeat.

Let me know if that helps.

 

It sounds very effective. I'll definitely try it.

 

I thought that's what meditation was for the most part. Having thoughts but not chasing them, just bringing your attention back to center.

 

I think the difference is that you don't "focus on nothing" like in regular meditation , but rather, just not focus. And then, when a thought comes to mind, you focus on forgetting about it for the moment so that you don't have to "focus on nothing".

 

It wasn't too bad at first, but then my thoughts started taking over. I got a sexual thought and I ended up masturbating. I didn't end up sleeping at all.

 

That's it in a nutshell.

 

I just read an article that has a similar technique to just noticing your thoughts. Instead, the author suggested repeating each thought once (echoing it in your mind) and then letting it go. Maybe if you tried masturbating first, then meditating...