I've recently lost someone really close to me. I cried a lot and am still crying but i feel i should be sadder or something? I'm sad they are gone and a huge part of my life is missing... i feel like a bit of scrap paper floating on a breeze but i'm not incapacitated with grief. I've read a bit about Aquarians and it's helped me to better understand myself... could someone lead me to a site on how the different signs deal with the death of a loved one? It's my little brother (well, little to me.. he was 26) that died. He's had a lot of surgeries in the last 5 years and in May was diagnosed with brain cancer. It got worse quickly and then he was given a short life span. He was home when he died and only "out of it" for one day (which was good... he didn't suffer for weeks or something horrid like that). The family all lives in a big house, came together for one of us to go to law school but that never happened.... we came together for this it seems. Anyway... can someone help me? peace barefootnikki
I'm very sorry to hear about your loss. It sounds to me that you are having diffculty or guilt with the fact you are not expressing your mourning through extreme grief. All I have to say is that everyone reacts differently to loss and every reaction is valid. The fact you are not as visibly sad doesn't mean you loved your brother any less or that you aren't honoring his memory. Another thing to consider is the possibility that the death has affected you more than you think. At least for me, I tend to internalize my feelings, which isnt always the healthiest. I'm not saying you need to try to express emotions you aren't having, but be open to the fact you ARE grieving and may need to express it sometime(it could be soon or years from now). As far as how Aquarians react to loss, from personal experience, I tend to react like you. I'm definetly affected but not in tradditional ways. I often feel lost or like I'm spinning my wheels and going nowhere. When a close one dies, I often console myself with the thing I did with them while they were here because thats all you can really do. It sounds like you should at least be serene in the fact your family was there for your brother in his times of need. Love and Peace
Thanks Ahimsa. I don't feel guilty so much.... i just thought i would feel differently than i do. I'll keep truckin' along though. Thanks for the reply, it's nice to know someone might get what i'm saying. peace barefootnikki
