I put on the Ortho Evera patch last night and it's already got a line of grime around the edges. Also, when I rub it to make sure it's sticking well, the skin underneath is very sensitive. Is this normal? I've never been on the patch before.
Jane, please be careful. I hope you aren't still sleeping with your soon to be ex. If it is someone else, be extra careful, even though HE did the original cheating, he could get his lawyer to serve the pharmacy with papers and use your actions against you. It isn't fair, but in divorce proceedings, a womyn's sex life is often under more scrutiny than the man's. You have a child that you don't want to lose. If there was ever a time to use to concentrate on being celebate, a divorce where you have a lot to lose is the time to do it. Personally, morally, it isn't an issue, but I know womyn who were the ones cheated on and thought "what's good for the Gander is good for the Goose" and got herself a lover and ended up losing kids, house, car ect. all due to misogynist judges. According to the law, you two are still married and not legally separated. Think of the child, and what might happen if your fh blames all his problems on your behavior. Food for thought and action. Please be careful. You have no idea what a Barracuda, "Father's Rights" type lawyer can do to a family. Take Salmon's advice, get the Mediation and do nothing he can use against you.
I agree entirely with Maggie Sugar's advice. However, you don't mention whether you just switched or whether the bc is new. As a woman who uses bc even while celibate as a way to control very painful cramps, I just assumed the first case. I haven't tried the patch because my body is very sensitive to hormones. Ortho Novum Lo made me curl up in a ball and cry for a week straight every month, so I wouldn't even try a regular hormone dose. One thing I would suggest, however, is reading back through the archives on this forum -- a while back there was a thread discussing some increased health risks associated with the patch, but I don't remember the details or when that was. Maybe someone else remembers more detail. If the patch doesn't work out for you and you want to get away from daily pills, I recommend the NuvaRing. It's a flexible ring that you insert in your vagina, leave it in for three weeks, then remove it for your week off, then insert a new one. You just have to keep track of dates on a calendar (it comes with handy little stickers) to remember when to remove it.
FYI, I am NOT having sex. I will likely be celibate for a while (masturbation doesn't count, right?). I will not be having sex with my STBX ever again. We haven't had sex since he cheated. I have polycystic ovary syndrome and I'm on the patch to help lower my testosterone and androgen levels. I asked about the ring, but the reproductive endocrinologist I saw said I wouldn't get as high a level of hormones as with the pill or the patch, so it wouldn't help as much. From what I've read, the increased risk of blood clots and other problems with the patch only occurs in women who smoke or who have a history of clotting problems. I don't smoke, and I have no clotting problems, so I'm not worried.
