Another thread, I'm sorry...

I am still confused about my relationship with my bf? exbf? Not sure what it is, but he seems to be bad news bears. He shut off the water to my house today, so no shower, no washer, no toliet. This isn't an isolated event. Shit like this happens all the time and he brings down the people he is around, which will be me at college. I am scared to hurt him, but he has serious personality flaws which I can no longer overlook and I am afraid I am wasting his time and my own. But damn those feelings, I still love him. But I must love myself first of all and do what is best for me and him. What is best for me may not be best for him...

Should I venture down a path that leads to an almost certain negative ending? Get off the path when shit gets bad? Stay on the path and wait out the storm? I don't know what to do. Advice is needed urgently!!!

Peace and love

 

GET OUT!!!!!been there and done that, if you stay it will eat you alive!!!

 

I don't know you, or the specifics of your situation but --definitely get out of this situation! Love or no love, it will destroy you if you keep on like this. how on earth did he manage to turn off your water--and he's done things like this before???? Hun you've really gotta get outta there!

 

The utilities were in his name and instead of putting them back in the landlord's name, he decided to shut them off. He hasn't lived here for about a month and everyone is leaving in a week so we didn't put the bills in our name. He is just a little slow with making good decisions. So tonight, I need to have a talk with him about us going our separate ways. Should we still stay friends b/c we seem to be better friends than in a relationship together? Not a good idea? Normally, I would say no to friends, but right now, he's the only person I know at a large college.

What are your opinions?

Peace and love

 

It's better to be alone then be with a control freak and a person who is into abuse.
Staying friends will just drag it out and then maybe you have a fuck buddy for awhile.
If that's what turns you on then go for it.

 

Run the fuck away.

 

Did he say "turn off the water" or did he just space it out, which resulted in the water being off.

If he turned off the water to get back at you, stay away from him. Don't talk and explain why you need to seperate. Just stay away from him.

If he is just a space cadet, thats another issue.

You say that you are scared to hurt him.
...Aw Hell, you know what everyone is going to advise.

Perhaps you should stop telling yourself that you love him. You may love the man he could have been, or that you fantisized he was or that you thought he was until you knew him better. But I sincerely hope that you don't feel romantic love for the person you now know him to be. If you start using a different word to describe your feelings for him, it might be easier for you to do what you should.

 

If you DO stay with him, you deserve everything you get.
He's being ridiculous. Yes, you love him....but do you LOVE him?

 

I don't know. I think I love him in this way: I want the best for him, I want him to be the great person he could be, but I realize that he isn't at his best. I want him to be happy but I fear that he could hurt his chances of happiness due to a serious disorder that has never been treated. I want him to be healthy, but being with me may not be healthy for him. (and it sure as hell isn't healthy for me). I don't think this is love but LOVE, love for him as the person he is.

That being said, he doesn't think about the consquences of his actions. I can't be with him now, but maybe when he grows up and matures or the medicine and therapy help, then I can be with him.

I do feel like a burden has been lifted after talking with him. I feel free to do what I want. I just hope I don't get lonely after breaking it off.

Peace and love

 

I guess I would see being lonely as a far better option then continuing to go through the drama that you have been. There are other guys out there, and ones that will treat you far better and you will eventually find one you LOVE for the right reasons and one that will LOVE you back. IMO you would be far better just breaking it off totally, not be friends even for a while. Just seems like the better thing to do. Good luck!!