it's amazing what one can do, when the task at hand you must get thru/ when backed against the wall, suck up your balls. get done what must be done to accomplish all, the mind will overcome all obstacles along the way. all is possible you might say.
I like it, but it seems like it could be expanded. I love the topic, and I think that it could be more powerful if you added something. What exactly? I don't know. Mabye another side to it, or an example or how it applies? Or maybe I'm just looking to far into it. I know nothing about poetry, so take my feedback for what it's worth.... PEACE
i love constructive critisism. i also love construcitve writing and sometimes thoughts can be followed up by another mind. i respect your comments and ask you, if you can expand it then please feel free i would be honored. i do not like leaving things incomplete but sometimes it's not me who can do the completion
I woudn't really want to change something that isn't mine man. But I think the topic here is awesome, and it might be interesting to dive into. Maybe if I take what you have there.... add my thoughts to it and what not. From there you could use my thoughts to further express your own, change it back to where you had it, or keep going back and forth till something develops on it's own. It would be groovy if we combined thoughts, and then seperated them into different sides, points of view or something. I may just be stoned, but I think the topic is broad, but can be narrow at the same time. Anything could come of it really. I don't know man, I'm going to sleep now.....get back at me and let me know what you think. And remember that I am less than a beginer in the poetry department, though I am slowly developing a passion... PEACE
one great technique that my friends and i use is tag team writing, where one person starts a thought and then the next person adds there thoughts and then you get more unique perspectives in one colaboration. anyway it is also a great tool for those who are just starting to develope there own style. that is one thing about the expression of writing, you may have one writing with 100 different opinions or one opinion with a 100 different writings.
