Abyss

This poem is shit..but I was young. 13 to be exact. Read and laugh. HaHa.​

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Abyss​

In love with you,

There are two of me.

One wants to feel more of you, all of you,

to finally feel anything but being sad.

The other tells herself to just let you go,

for true love she has already had.


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At times I wish to live as the first,

finding out more that I love about you.

But then when my heart breaks, ​

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I wish to live as the second.

Knowing that falling in love with me,

is everything you will not do.

I wish for you to feel my heart from both sides,

To run your long fingers through my pain.

To watch my tears crash like oceans tides,

Feeling as though anguish is your only gain.
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Please know that I want to be with you,

for nothing more than this;
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the way you make me feel like a symphony,

when I feel like nothing more than an abyss.​

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crumbs! for a 13 yr old this is pretty darn genius work! when i was 13 all i could write were crappy limericks(and they were crap) this poem 'abyss' really is pretty awesome, even if it is about love

 

i really like it, we have always 2 in us when we are in love
one says "go" and the other says "wait" & u have a good
description of that felling

 

Thanks guys!

 

Wow, some winner felt the need to ruin my repuation points because he/she didn't like my poem from when I was THIRTEEN.


What a fool.

They couldn't even post a comment either.

They just left me this BS.

07-01-2005 01:46 PMwhat a bunch of crap. you are an idiot. stop filling this forum with unintelligent shit. childish crap

When you grow some testes let me know who are you and we can discuss this like adults not children.

Idiot.

 

that's mean! although i didn't like the part where you said " this poem is shit." if you think it's crap why did you post it? I am not meaning to sound mean did you just want to share? anyway i like the poem

 

I think the reason I posted it was quite obvious.

Because this is a poetry forum.

My opinion is voiced just as yours is.

 

Your last three sentances were quite powerful.
This reader does not agree with the way you
downplayed it. You draw to yourself your expectations.
Set your poems free like doves to find their own air.