A realization and being strong

I told my mom and grandpa what an ass my ex boyfriend can be to ensure that he will stay an ex. My grandpa loved him and after telling him how horrible he can be he's not going to be welcome at family things anymore. This was really gutsy of me and hard to do but I am really sick and last night he asked how I was feeling and I said not well and he said 'what a suprise'. Furthermore he made a comment last week about how I need to get better soon so we can have lots of sex because it's not fair to him and last time we had sex i felt better so i should just put out and something about how i never give head, which I don't I hate giving oral and he's like an oral sex freak. We have been on and off again for almost 7 years now and feb 21st is the 7th anniversary of the day we met and he made reservations in tahoe for it and I called today and told him he was a jerk and to cancel the trip. I'm not in love with him it's more like I needed him but more and more I'm realizing I don't need him and he can be really mean and he's only nice when i am having lots of sex with him and then he treats me like a princess but if im not giving it up for whatever reason he treats me like crap. anyway, i am sorry this is so long. i am just looking for confirmation that i did the right thing. he treats me bad at times, is a pot head and im not in love with him or attracted to him anymore so how could it not be the right thing; right? break ups are always so hard ive never been through an easy one but in this one im breaking up with my close friend too who knows more about me than anyone else on the planet.

 

it seems like you did the right thing...seems like he didn't really have any respect for you, and when you weren't "putting out" he felt you were slighting him. women aren't toys, nor are they fucking machines...when we don't wanna have sex, we just DON'T (the same goes for guys), and a good man would accept that. fuck him, you deserve better if he really is your close friend, he will remain so even after the breakup. if not, then he was never really your friend in the first place....i hope you are doing okay..breaking up really is hard to do. went through it recently myself, and it's rough, but hang in there it always gets better!

 

absolutely you did the right thing. Someone who only treats you well when you're fucking them and treats you poorly when you aren't isn't worth your time

 

Good for you~!. You did the right thing. He is an ass and doesnt deserve you because of how he wont respect you.

 

That's exactly it he has no respect for me. Last night he called to apologize but he didn't really even apologize so I told him he had a shitty attitude and he told me I was 'milking' my illness to get time of work and people to do things for me so i told him to fuck off and hung up on him because i don't need that.

 

I just put the two together the other nigh that he treats me greaqt when im fucking him and not so good when im not. why did it take me so long to come to this conclusion?

 

because you deserve better than that, and that's what you wanted.

dun worry, I almost dated an alcoholic drug dealer, because I wanted so badly to have someone in my life, and I'd known him for years (but never been all that close, just often had a crush on him)

It's a learning lesson, right? Now you know one more kind of guy to watch out for and avoid like the plague

 

arghhh he came over about an hour ago and I just ignored the door. I can't stand people who have addictions, it's hard to respect them because it indicates that they have no self control and his addiction to weed is insane. He makes 6 figures a year and has nothing to show for it because he's so irresponsible.
I dated an alchoholic it really bites and he denied his problem and acted like I was crazy for thinking he had a problem and I was right in the end and my worst suspicions game true.
I guess you'r right relationships are a learning experience.

 

Never heard of anyone being addicted to weed?

 

you cannot really become physically addicted to weed, but you can make it a problem by making it the sole purpose of your existence. i've known a lot of people who used it to self-medicate and it became the only activity they wanted to do, and one person in particular felt like he always needed to smoke it to have fun. that is technically addiction in the psychological sense.

 

that's exactly it he smokes all freaking day long now, even at work with his employees, which risks his contractors license. He already lost his real estate license because of a drug arrest and he was lucky he had a good lawyer and got out of being convicted. He said he would change if I married him but that's not okay he needs to change in order to put a ring on my finger again ( we were engaged) and I'm not for making people change he has to do it and find the motivation. I am sick of men with addictions.

 

it's always the right thing to end relationships that don't work for you. and your family should be behind you all the way.

 

If you're not happy in a relationship...it is ALWAYS the right thing to do to tell them to get lost. No matter what the circumstance.

Good luck Lynsey.

 

arghhhh god he's such a massive tool. I'm staying off the phone waiting for the nurse to call back to tell me if i can have a note to go back to work tommorow. I NEED this note staying home is making me sicker. My ex calls and I tell him hey I gotta go the doctors is going to call and he goes im not getting off the phone until you promise to call me back and i said no you were really wrong the other night and yesterday with what you said and it's not going to work I need somone who's nice to me all the time not just when im fucking them and he wouldnt get off the phone so i hung up and he called back and i said fuck you you're being selfish i need to keep the phone line clear (we dont have call waiting for some odd reason my moms anti-technology) and he said well it's your fault for ignoring me so i hung up and he is such a jerk didn't ask oh what is the doctor calling you for or oh any new developments he is so high out of his mind from being a massive douche of a pothead. I'm sooooooo freaking done so done.

 

dude, i'd block his number if he keeps calling you incessantly. that's stalking right there...

 

he called and said get this 'are you ready to be a nice person now' and I said 'are you going to apologize; and he said fuck you just tell me what the doctor said so i said' i'm okay i just have a virus' and he said 'that's great baby so now there's no reason for you to have a shitty attitude' and i said 'i don't have a shitty attitude you do and you owe me a fucking apology for your selfish behavior you acting like a 4 year old the other night' and he said 'so you're saying you're not going to apologize' and i said 'fuck no im not and i would appreciatte if you don't call me because all you think of me as is a young piece of ass and you live in an imaginary world because you're a fucking pot head' and he said 'so that's how it's gonna be then' and i said 'yeah im done with your shit and i mean it this time i want somone who want me for my personality' and he laughed so i hung up and he called back so i picked up the phone and hung it up again and i am done and sick of his selfish juvinille ways and ya know what his mom is freaking annoying too and made him this way she give him unhealthy food all the time, fries everything, whines all the time she talks down to her husband all the time. They were super well off and had a really nice house in the most expensive part in san diego and she gambeled their savings away and then the mortgage payments and they had to buy a smaller home not near the ocean and she got on me for not 'cooking for her son when he got home from work' so god im so glad i never have to see his mom either. ill miss his stepdad though he was cool as hell

 

Thank you for all the pm's guys. There really nice. I was just speaking with my mom and she asked if I was sure this is what I want and told me I was being rude the other night. This guys does have some killer good qualities but they don't outweigh the bad ones so I asked that she respect my decision and does not pass the phone to me when he calls. I am done being belittled and treated like I have no brains, no future outside of being his wife and plus he's really messy and he used to be a clean freak it's just like he/'s declined in his maturity in the past couple years. I remember 5 years ago when we were house shopping and we went to go get pancakes for lunch heh and it was so nice thinking of getting married, having this huge rock on my hand thinking I had this perfect handsome older man and something happened to him that just made him, his morals his stadards go down hi'' and I want to grow with somone not decline in my development as a person and I don't want to facilitate him not bettering himself and by staying with him im telling him he''s okay the way he is and he's not. the way he is isn't healthy and his family enables that so it will never change and i just realized that.

 

all "killer good qualities" are down the tube when he can't treat you with respect

Get his number blocked, and consider filing a police report, so that it's at least on record that he's harassed you.

And have a bubble bath, because you're way too fucking sexy to deal with shit like this

 

THANK YOU I've had a lot of heart-to-hearts with him explaining my feelings and that I'm here for him and that I think he needs to stop smoking so much and forgive his father and step mother. This si why he's in pain and not advancing in life. But i can't fix him and have his kids adn give him the family he's wanted just like he can't replace my father and daddy me all the time-neither are healthy nor sustainable. I'm going to try and be gentle with him and thank him for all the times he's been here for me but tell him he drains me sometimes and is very negative and haas shaped a lot of my negative attitudes towards life. He also got me a watch for christmas that was at least 1,000 dollars from what ive seen them in the catalog so I need to give it back to him and find where I put the box and warrantly and such so hopefuly he will accept it back and can take it back to the store and get a refund. I love him, I mean I really love him but not in the way that he wants me to and he senses that and I know that's why he acts the way he does.

 

indeed. that woulda been a shitty marriage for them both.