I know this belongs in the poetry forum, but it doesn't seem like many pay attention that forum. I don't write much poetry. I just want some criticism. If you think I should change anything or you don't like it just tell me. I won't feel bad or anything. This poem is about breaking through too, so I think it fits in the LSD forum. ------------------------ How do you know that you're alive How will you know if you never try It will come if you give it time You'll find out if you break on through To the other side You'll get past that mental barrier One day you'll learn that you can't carry her You'll know when your time has come Your mind will open and shine like the sun You'll learn that we all are free This world is full of peace You'll see the whole universe and not have to pay Don't worry my friend, you'll get there one day ------------------------ I'd appreciate some help you guys.
It's optimistic, it's real, I like it! And if it comes from the heart, who can criticize? Especially from someone who doesn't write that much, the important thing is that you're expressing yourself! Keep it up!
