A new pattern forming in my love life

Let me start by saying I've never had a problem getting girls.

But recently, I've started becoming an asshole to a level that is kind of making me despise myself. I've always had a thing for cute little innocent girls. In the last month, I've dated 2 different 18 year-old girls (I'm 21), been stoked on them for about a week or two, slept with them both a couple times (I was their first guy, in both cases), and then got bored and just sort of broke it off an moved on.

In between, I've been bar-starring it up.

At any rate, I can't tell if I'm scared of commitment, attracted to girls who are far from compatible with me, or just easily bored. But I'm starting to feel like a real prick.

 

Oh - and I have a date with a Christian girl in half an hour or so.

 

wow you sound like one hah. I hope you can keep up attracting 18 year-old girls for life because once we hit our twenties we have a nice selection of rich and handsome 40 somethings to chose from and guys our own age...no need to put up with crap any longer. So I'd develop some postive traits because eventually, unless you are very simple an 18-year-old is not going to do it for you anymore.

 

This guy is ADMITTING he's acting like an asshole. He's come here because he wants to find himself and better himself, and he wants us to help him. Don't make hate posts, Lynsey. There's no need to repeat his complaints.
Yo Spooner, I know EXACTLY how you feel: You know you're doing something bad that's gonna hurt a girl, but you're young and you're trying to figure out what you want. It sucks bad. I can't say I have any sound advice, other than good luck. PS: It's cool that you can admit what you're doing is wrong. Step two is just working on it.

 

Don't be so patronizing Lynsey. I've dated women older than you, and really, it isn't that great. At any rate, I'm seeing this girl again next weekend.

And it isn't a question of who I can get, but who I'm attracted too. I'm charming as hell.

Oh well. We'll see how this goes in a couple of weeks.

 

Spooner..I hope you are at least a bit kind when you break it off with them...you were their first...and they will remember you. As for whats going on with you...could it be you are leaving them quickly because you dont wish to be the one getting dumped ??

 

if u dont make big promises to the girls, or tell them u love them when u dont, or make them believe u're in serious relationships with them then cheat on them the next day, then its not THAT wrong. its okay to have a few one-night-stands.. u're young, its not like u're 40 and married...

theres a good chance u'll stop fooling around naturally once u've encountered love

 

I've been in love. I've been in serious relationships. That is why this is a new pattern.

 

I did not notice your 'charm' hah shit now that you say you have charm I take it all back. You are not an asshole and should feel great about taking multiple girl's virginity away from them! go you...conquer those naive teenagers!

And I am sure you're just a huge hit with girls like myself...i am so sorry us twenty-somethings aren't really that great for you. Man we're mssing out! d:
I am sorry I usually find ya cool as hell but lately your posts have been screaming pompousness and that is one quality I laugh at in guys...because there's always a better one waiting around the corner.

 

I have to agree with lynsey on this one. Spooner, you're a dick...that's why you're acting like one with these girls lately.

Frankly, I feel sorry for them

Send them my regards.

 

No, Crayola, it is NOT all right to do what Spoon is doing. When a girl is eighteen and a virgin, she feels like "her first" is special, even if he doesn't make promises. (Unless of course she's already been conditioned to be used ... which is a far sadder statement about society if you ask me.)

But Spoon, I agree -- it's good of you to have admitted to yourself that you're being a dick. Now change it.

 

Suncatch22, I couldnt agree with you more. Spooner (and any others reading), If a girl is a virgin, be a man, dont take it from her to prove you can. The first with a woman stays with her forever, and what you are doing can be damaging her forever. No, i am not going overboard, i know exactly what that did to 2 women in my life, to give their virginity to a guy who dumped them after less than a month.

 

I think all women know(the older ones anyway)that early in life,they always have at least one jerk that teaches them some serious and valuable lessons.You've provided them with such.Nice going.

 

hah that's a good way to put it. I guess we all do have to experience at least one total loser to know when we find a good one in the future! I know after my last long relationship and after the last guy I was breifly dating I have learned to trust my instincts. I had bad vibes the first time I met both of the previously mentioned and I never listened to my intuition...

Learning to listen to myself and trusting my gut instinct has been the greatest gift anyone has ever given to me...and it took being with a couple icky and slimey guys to realize that...also I should always listen to my mom! The ones she likes are always the good ones!

 

I lost my virginity to a guy that dumped me about 3 days afterwards. It wasn't great. It wasn't special, and I knew where it was going....I just didn't want to admit it. It was an asshole move on his part, and a stupid one on mine.
I think it's a step in the right direction to admit you're wrong. It's also great that you're seeing that girl again next week.
You should step back and figure out why you're acting this way now. Maybe it's because your subconciously afraid of falling in love and getting hurt in the end. Or, maybe you're just not one to commit. Some people go their whole lives not ever getting into more than 2 or 3 serious relationships because they just don't want to settle down. Judging by your posts I've read....here and other places, I think you're one of those people. But, I could be wrong.

 

I'm just being honest. I've never had a problem attracting girls. And I'm not proud of what I'm doing, per se, nor is it some concious effort. It's just becoming a sort of pattern. Which is this - I'll genuinely get attracted to a girl, move in, start dating her, usually wind up sleeping with her, then get bored, try to stick it out for a bit, then end it.

Once again, I'm just being honest. I dated a 26 year-old highschool english teacher for 2 and a half months when I was 19, and I couldn't stand it. Even then, I was on some level taking advantage of her. She was buying me beer almost every night, sleeping with her (I'll be honest here - I'm completely selfish in bed), getting her to buy me things. At the same time, she was really domineering and tried to push me into becoming more of a person could show her parents - forced maturity if you will. It turned into a disaster.

I've always been confident/arrogant as hell. But I don't see the point you're trying to make - I am an asshole, I am a terrible boyfriend... I admit all these things. But you're making one huge assumption about women that quite frankly isn't true - that they recognize good qualities in men and then act on that.

The point I'm trying to make is that I want to fall in love again/get back into a serious relationship. But my attempts so far have all backfired in ways that sort of weigh on my concience. I can't seem to force it.

 

DON'T!

The more people try to "force" themselves into serious relationships -- any relationships -- the more they fail.

The more someone looks, the less they find.

I have found that I have found what I was looking for, as soon as I've given up on the search.

 

oh ok so you're just dating stupid women who don't have a really good grasp on reality and let you move in with them.

I'm just different I would not be able to date a 19-year-old. I don't know what on earth they would have to offer me. I have a friend who is 27 and dating a 21-year-old who has nothing going for him and makes no effort to romance her or visit her and it is hard to bite my tongue.
If you wanna be like that fine. I just wouldn't sleep with virgins, that's not player player it's just evil and a little bit sexually abusive. No doubt these girls sound dumb as rocks for letting you fuck them, but still that doesn't make them deserve your abusive, fearful and insecure behavior

 

Now I think I understand your political and economic posts as well.Congratulations for consistancy.

 

Off to Calif to Work.Bye bye.