a lil predicament

ok..so i just got back from my second interview with this company...i *might* take the job (still not sure)...but if i do, they'll let me grow dreads no problem...AWESOME!

but here's where i get to my predicament (that is a fun word)

my brother is getting married in october...already he is trying to mentally prepare me for a haircut him and his fiance are gonna try and force on me...keeps tellin me im gonna have to get my hair at least trimmed up, but im thinkin he's gonna wanna cut quite a bit off...

as of now my hair is long and straight...my bangs fall down just past my chin, with the back bein a lil bit longer, fallin just to the bottom of the collar on my shirt...mostly i just keep it down and do my best to sweep the bangs out of my face...

if i get to start growin dreads like i want, which will be the neglect method, that means i'll have approximately 4-5 months of neglect by the time the wedding comes...not near enough time to have good looking mature dreadlocks that i could tie up in any number of fashions to still look decent for the ceremony/pictures...in fact, it'll probably look like shit!

last night i tried to offer a solution, a sort of compromise...i said i would be more than willing to purchase a wig to wear for the pictures and ceremony...he simply looked at me...and then said no...he mentioned that he doesn't think i could find a wig that will look decent, especially if locks have started forming and i have more bulk by then than i currently do...

i was hoping i could get some suggestions as to any other alternatives i may have to avoid cutting my hair, or having to undo months of neglect just for a single day event...

i thought about just waiting til after the wedding to start dreads, but i really dont wanna wait that long, and he'd still have me cut my hair which im desperately trying to avoid...

any help would be MUCH appreciated!

 

wait till after the wedding to start your dreads. don't cut, just tie your hair back in a smooth ponytail. maybe get a little trim if your hair is looking extra scraggly.

 

tell your bro to do one =]

 

ugh! so long to wait though zilla...

i mean, one of the reasons i wanna do the neglect method is for patience...and when i think of my dready journey, really to me it starts with the decision to get dreads, rather than the day i actually start letting them form...so ya this would just help to further reinforce the lesson...

but still...SHITTY

edit: my bro absolutely will not...first off, he's a college graduate trying to get into the business world, human resources was his major...a hairstyle like that would do nothing but harm to his particular plan...second, he just doesnt completely understand the whole reasoning...he see's it as most society does, as a stereotypical black hairstyle, and he probably thinks my main reason for wanting it is cause im a pothead...even though i've explained differently, im sure he thinks im just kinda sayin those things to try and make it seem legit

 

tell your brother to eat a dick. its your hair. why are you trying to please him? do what you want.

 

ultimately i could do that if i so wished...however it is his wedding day, and he is my brother, and i'd hate for this to seriously turn into that big of an argument...im a pretty reasonable and understanding guy, and i know this is something that is important to him, otherwise he wouldn't ask me to cut my hair at all, so im really tryin to find some middle ground that will work for both of us...

 

so why not wear a hat to the wedding or just tie your hair in a ponytail with some gel or aloe?

 

strangely I agree with NP.. I am sure your brother will have you in his wedding no matter what. And if they are worried about seeing the beginning of your locks in their wedding pictures for the rest of their lives, then you're just going to have to show loads and loads and loads of pictures of people with dreads. My sister now says she could never even imagine me without locks... and its only been two years.

i mean I understand why they would like you to more clean cut. but even super messy neglected dreads can be pulled back into quite an elaborate braided hair do. If locks mean as much to you as they seem, and being in you brother's wedding means as much to you to both you and your brother... a compromise must be reached... and as much as you don't want to wait... I think Zilla's solution is the best.

 

I don't think your hair should even be a topic of discussion. It's his wedding day. He should be damn proud just to even have you there with him. Your hair shouldn't even be a thought.

If it were me, I'd start letting it dread now and would tie it back or where a tam or something for the wedding day. If that's not compromise enough, screw him because apparently you actually being there isn't worth it. That's kind of a low blow in my opinion.

 

natural philosophy (or anyone for that matter)...suppose i start neglecting right away, now imagine my hair in 5 months time...how neat looking could i style my hair, so as to make a good picture, without hurting the locking process?

my biggest problem with having to wait is, like i said, that he'll still want me to cut it, and i dont wanna lose even a full inch of length! haha

 

Have you thought about getting a tam, and hide your hair in it?

Might not be the best idea with a church and all, but it would probably look alot better

 

get a hat, tie back your dreads and it wont be a problem

 

ok this is gonna have to be my last reply for a bit (leavin for my sisters soccer game)...

thanks everyone for all the quick suggestions and advice!

everyone sayin that i should do what i want and that my hair shouldn't even be an issue, i agree to an extent...if it were my wedding i sure as hell wouldn't care, but our worlds are completely different, and as a result he does think quite differently than i do...(and i dont doubt that his fiance has a hand in this as well)...i know how monumental of an event a wedding is in someone's life, and i know they'll want every detail to be perfect...so i can definitely understand his side of the issue too, even if i dont neccessarily agree with it...

i dont want y'all to get the wrong impression of my bro and his fiance though! they're awesome people and i love em to death, and they're not doing any of this out of spite or anything like that...just, it's their wedding, ya know? it might be my hair, but to them, it's my hair *in their wedding* :tongue:

 

exactly. noone will even care about you. they're there for the bride and groom

 

wear a top hat

 

holy slash from guns and fuckin roses

that would be pretty badass

 

I totally get what you are saying... My sister *requested* I not wear my glasses for the pictures and wedding. Luckily my vision is not horrible so I could see most things... lol I did it for the same reason as you... it was their request and I could oblige. Her argument was that these pictures had to sit on her wall for the rest of her life and she wanted to see my face.

I wouldn't worry about any damage that would be done to making your neglect dreads pretty for a day... it would be better than no progress in five months. Know what I mean? If you truly want to make them happy, I think you know what the "compromise" will be. Their mind is set.

 

Glasses??? What a bitch.

 

at my wedding people wore whatever the fuck the wanted to! one of my cousins is a lil crazy and wears tight&short dresses, a tonne of makeup, bleach blond hair w extensions. that is not my style whatsoever but I never would ahve told her to tone it down for my day. A wedding is actually a famlily day. It's not just about the bride and groom. you can just pull your hair back and flatten it down w aloe or wear a hat. I mean if it's about the photos, after 5months neglect they probably won't even look like dreads when they're tied up. I know in some photos w my hair up you can't tell I have dreads so...

 

im in exactley the same boat ... but im not gonna worry about it im in my bro's wedding later this summer and hes is clean cut army type.. he calls me the hippy.. lol but he asked me in the wedding so he will get me the way i am .. ill look as "normal" as I can but i wont worry bout it... and neither should you