hey everyone... im new to this whole site so just bare with me if i sound like im just plain stupid. but anyways, my 'situation' is is that im 16 and im seeing this guy who is 21. now i know what you may be thinking.. (sick, what a pervert, immature).. but its really not like that. we arent doing anything 'illegal' if you know what i mean, and i really feel like i cant let this one go. am i blinded by feelings of denial or is this just one messed up situation?
I don't think it's a messed up situation, but I do think it's a disaster begging to happen. One really simple question for you. What do your parents & close friends think of him? Not of the relationship, but of him as a guy? Unless you've got really REALLY freaky parents, I'd trust them a bit on this. If they like him, I'd say go for it... but be real careful what ya do until you're 18, to keep him from getting into any trouble. If your parents don't like him, ask them why. Maybe they see something you don't? Check with your best buddies too... that way you'll get a better picture, since some parents can be too overprotective. (((hugs!!!))) love, mom
you're 16 and he's 21?? depending on how you two look at things.you may be more mature than he is ...different situations different answers........my mother in law encouraged my now wife to go out with me .me being typical male i would have stayed single but alas they had other plans for me .......i felt she was too young for me at the time but she kept on telling me that age made no difference .i'm glad i listened to her ......we have a 7 year difference and in may will have been married 28 years .......that's the best i can tell you
As long as you're not doing anything illegal...like having sex...I'm assuming...since you are underage..I don't really see a problem. If you wait out having sex with him until you're of age...then I can't say he'd be using you... Trust your instincts.
Trust your friends, your parents, and your instincts. I have a lot of friends that were so blinded by fascination (I use the term love in a stricter sense), that they didn't see what losers their boyfriends were. If your friends, ALL OF THEM, think he's okay, if your parents think he's an okay guy, then it might be a good thing. But your friends and parents are going to be seeing this guy from every angle that you won't be, so they're going to get a better view of the whole picture than you will. And since they love you and want the best for you, then that makes them easier to trust. But also trust your instincts. If everyone's only complaint is his age, then you do the hard looking yourself. And this advice is coming from a chicka that's 11.5 years her boyfriend's junior. I'm 20. He's 31, to be 32 in about a month.
thanks for all your guys' input. my moms opinion on this guy is that she doesnt like his age and thats about it. ALL of my friends think hes awesome and just a great and fun person to be around. my moms the only one with issues with him... which, like i said, centers around his age and the fact she thinks he gives off 'weird vibes.'
^I agree with this.... in these kind of situations I can see why the younger person would be fascinated with the prospect of an older, more mature/ experienced parter... it's exciting. But then I wonder why an older person would want to date someone so much their junior. Why a 21 year old dude would want to date a 16 year old chica. Yeah? Not knocking you in any way, btw! I hope you know what I mean. But exceptions can always be made, and hopefully you've found one of em! .... Good luck! ~Peace
thanks and yea... thats what i mean. i can totally see the viewpoint of "whats wrong with this guy that wants this younger girl?" i would probably think that if it werent my situation. but yea, im not sleeping with him and theres no expectation that im going to. i genuinly really like him, and recently weve said "i love you." i tihnk hes an exception.. but my mom still stands in the way...
Best thing to do about your momma is to just keep her informed and be very honest. Sneaking around or lying might cause more problems. If you and he are totally open and honest with her, and maybe if he visits with her a bit more, she'll open up.
definately not a problem. I dont even understand what's the problem of being in a relationship when u're different ages. Most people do this. Dont worry about that... its truly not important as long as u feel confortable and the guy doesn't make u do something u dont want to. so, have fun
