1st time going barefoot = horrible experience for me

I'm a newbie to this site. Although I really like my feet and love the look of being barefoot but, I've always been too shy to actually go out barefoot out in public, despite wanting to for a while now. This past weekend, however, I finally worked up enough courage to go out without my shoes.... But I hate to say it ended up being a really bad experience for me. I showed up to meet my friends at a bar early Saturday evening, barefoot. They wanted to know what had happened to my shoes, and were dumbfounded that I had chose to go out that way. I was too nervous to attempt to offer any kind of real explanation – that I liked how it looked and felt going barefoot – so I just tried to play it off as no big thing. They told me how unlady like they thought it was of me to be out without shoes. On top of that, the bottoms of my feet had gotten dirty from walking there, and one of my friends, actually one of my friend's cousin, made a big deal about that, saying she didn't know how trashy I was. At one point later on, she grabbed the bottom of my jeans and held my feet up to show some guys we knew how dirty my feet were. The guys didn't seem to think that much about it, though, but the two girls with them each made a grossed-out face, and either asked why or how I could go out without shoes – I can't remember.... It had became humiliating for me, by that point.... I didn't know what to say, I was so embarrassed... My jeans weren't long or wide enough at the bottom to cover my feet at all, especially while sitting down, so I just sat there the rest of the night with my knees together, trying to hide my feet by holding one foot on top of the other... Maybe it wouldn't have bothered me so much if I'd thought more on what to expect, but I hadn't anticipated feeling so nervous, like I did from early on, or it being so humiliating or embarrassing for me as it was later on.... I left and stayed at my friends like we'd planned, and the next day I had to hear more about my barefeet, like the night before, until I they took me home.... I hate the idea of calling the same type and amount of attention to myself that I did Saturday, so much that I don't think I'll ever go out barefoot again!

 

well, seems like you went to a bar with some prudes, don't let it discourage you, I go barefoot everywhere everyday and I just don't give a fuck.

 

They're not your real friends. Your real friends wouldn't care about such a trivial thing as going barefoot. A really true friend would join in on it But seriously, if they judge you based on the fact that you want to go barefoot...screw them!

Besides, some girls end up going barefoot because their feet start killing them in those awful shoes that girls wear now these days. Sure, they might look nice to them...but they're really awful for the feet. Girls know it and when they hurt so much that they just can't stand it, they don't care...they take 'em off.

Just don't go out with them anymore. Look at it this way: you got into the bar without shoes, so it was partly a good night

 

Anna - I'm sorry to hear this went so terribly wrong for you. Perhaps you did too much too fast. You also seem to have fallen in with an appearance concious crowd that has no stomach for anything that is a bit different. Have you had any other experiences being barefoot in public prior to this - or have you until now been an "at home" barefooter? I hope you don't throw in the towel and abandon your public barefooting. Perhaps in the future you should try starting out with a pair of shoes and then kicking them off - that is certainly acceptable to most as women often will do that with their footwear.
Barefooting is extremely enjoyable and I hope you don't give it up!

 

I congratulate you on your bold move, you handled yourself well, not easy for a beginner by any means.

My guess the over reaction might be due to the fact that you surprised them with the sudden change in footwear style. In my opinion women can pull this off better than any male due to the well known discomfort of feminine shoes.

Agree with the others here, if they don't like it, that's their problem not yours.

 

Anna,

A true friend would support you for your choice even if he/she did not agree with it. Do NOT be discouraged! YOU were the bravest to express your freedom to choose how you feel comfortable. You were comfortable with yourself, you made a choice and it was yours to make. I would have openly criticized the one who you feel embarrassed you.

Tell me, did all of you wear the same outfits? Eat the same meals? Consume the same drinks? Do you all like exactly the same music? TV shows? It's called being an individual. It's what makes us human. If you feel comfortable going barefoot, go barefoot! It's your choice and true friends would stand by you even if they did not agree with you.

 

Anna, you have my support too. A true friend would have been interested in understanding and appreciating your choices, and would have encouraged your individuality, not try to humiliate you on account of it. I go barefoot everywhere and sometimes get weird looks from people but it doesn't bother me because I realize that those people have probably just lived sheltered lives. There are places all over the world where people go barefoot and it's not a big deal. And as for the time your "friend" picked up your legs to show the guys your feet, I'll bet they actually thought it was cool and brave of you and thought your friends were being rude and obnoxious, not you. And you'd be surprised how many people think going barefoot is super cool and attractive, not trashy at all. So don't listen to what your friends say, they just don't understand. Maybe they are just afraid you're onto something they don't have the courage to do themselves. Going barefoot will make you healthier, stronger, and able to walk all day without pain. It's totally awesome and I hope you don't give up.

 

Anna, don't be discouraged. People often see barefooting as an expression of courage, and a a result feel threatened. So they do their best to crush your self-esteem and make you conform.

I'm not an "extreme barefooter" personally, but I love going shoeless when I can, and I've had some negative reactions as well. I learned to laugh at them and just keep going.

 

nice move. barefooting isnt'for everybody. one has to take into account this kind of reactions before and ask her/himself if she/he is ready to face them.

you made me angry. you dont have to let other people do such things. NEVER. it is a matter of self respect. im not saying you had to stomp the shit out of her (it is my standard reaction not yours) but wtf i think you need to get even with the whore. and the whole bunch of assholes. barefoot or not.

 

I agree with what others have said. You come away from this with all the credit. It was very brave to go barefoot on a night out like that as a first time experience, rather than building up to it by going barefoot round the block, popping out to the shop etc, and getting used to it gradually as I'm sure most of us have. So full marks for plunging straight in, with no shoes to fall back on. Don't be put off by your friends' reaction. The very fact that they kept raising the subject suggests to me that deep down they were jealous that they did not have the courage to act outside the norm. Remember that now they have seen you barefoot once, they have nothing to be surprised about next time, and I bet they will gradually get used to it and leave you alone. If they comment again, just joke it off and don't panic. Remember they are your feet and if you choose to be barefoot that is up to you and none of their business. As others have said, if your friends can't accept it (it's no big deal after all), they are not true friends if they cannot accept you for who you are.

 

anna, i echo the comments of the previous posters. it is their problem that they are so petty to care about appearences. why does what someone wear or does not wear matter? if someone is a real friend they don't give 2 shits about what you are wearing but, they are more interested in enjoying their company. i applaud you for going barefoot and do not let these "acquaintances, not friends", discourage you. it probably was a shock to them to see you barefoot. i am a barefooter and have heard all of the ridculous comments of the shoddies. please do not allow them to get you down. if you want to go barefoot, please do. it is natural and you are expressing your indivuality.

 

Dont give up now Anna remember the biggest critics of anything are usually those who lack the courage to do it themselves I know from personal experience the hardest part can be dealing with the smartarse comments but youve come so far so fast compared to most people it is important you dont give up & before long people will get so use to you being a barefooter they will act just as surprised if they see you with shoes on remember its your life do what you want & what makes you happy.

 

ditto, once a "friend" of mine told me not to come to his home again barefoot and that was the last time he had to do with me. btw we live < 500 yards far from each other.

 

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Thanks for all your support and encouragement everyone! But, I'm not sure if I want to go out barefoot again. I remember how embarrasing it became for me, even before my friends made their big deal about it. At the bar, I was too nervous to get up and walk around, out of fear of people seeing that I was barefoot... I was actually wishing I had a pair of shoes I could've put on. And then, of course, my friends only made me feel worse about it...

 

Well doing anything out of the norm is going to attract social attention and people will also base their perception on your based on how you handle the extra attention. If you appear confident and comfortable with being different and being yourself than people will see you in a positive and confident way. This can work the other way around though, if you appear uncomfortable and let the attention get to you, than people will start seeing you as a 'weaker social being' and, unfortunately this is what happened. Those girls started picking on you because of it, and you unfortunately were hurt by it... Either don't do it, or keep doing it and just tell people why you do what you do, in this case live barefoot, and do it confidently! You may even inspire people around you to do it if you can showcase it in a positive way, ie. you being happy and comfortable in bare feet.

 

*HUGS* Anna.

That was very rude and unkind of them to behave that way. Whatever you decide, keep the beauties bare at home at least!

 

Assholes.

 

Anna you say you found it very embarrasing even before your friends started making thier comments that is totally understandable you had just taken a huge & incredibly brave step it is important you keep moving forward & dont give up as you said yourself you enjoy the feeling of barefeet & walking barefoot. As for these so called friends if they could spend the night humilliating you like that they are obviously not true friends. I thought true friends always supported each other no matter what.

 

If you're still feeling jittery about going barefoot to the bar, perhaps you should just walk around outside barefoot for a while at a park or around the neighborhood you live in. Start slowly and build up your confidence from there. Perhaps then, you'll feel more confident about it.

Then, when your confidence has gone up, maybe you could go back to the same bar again barefoot! Like I said, look at your experience this way: you got to go inside the bar. The bouncer or employees there didn't kick you out because you had no shoes on. Perhaps your next time there barefoot will be better!

As for those friends of yours, perhaps you shouldn't hang out with them for a while, if ever again. They should know that you were upset by your experience with them that night.