15 Funny and Weird Police Comments!!

The following 15 Police Comments were supposedly taken off of actual police car videos around the USA...

#15 "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile."

#14 "Take your hands off the car, and I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."

#13 "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

#12 "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? In case you didn't know, that is the average speed of a 9mm bullet fired from my gun."

#11 "So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"

#10 "Yes, Sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"

#9 "Warning! You want a warning? O. K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

#8 "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

#7 "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in monkey DOO."

#6 "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."

#5 "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."

#4 "Just how big were those two beers?"

#3 "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."

#2 "I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend of yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail."

And...................

#1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? ... You're right, we don't. . Sign here!


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Ha,ha.....I enjoyed those Police gaffs!!.Villiams be warned;if the cop's bulletts don't get you;-their stinging wit will.

 

Haha, some of those were pretty funny

 

That's pretty hilarious-I saw that on another forum a little while back

 

Those are pretty funny, thanks for posting them

 

things not to tell cops:
(1) You are not gonna check the trunk are you
(2) Hey your wife was great last night and hows my kids
(3) I cant reach my license unless you hold my beer
(4) sorry officer i did not realize my radar detector was unplugged
(5) aren't you the guy from the village people
(6) hey you must have been doing about 125mph to keep up with me, good job
(7) are you Andy of Barney
(8) I thought you had to be in relatively good physical shape to be a cop
(9) I pay your salary
(10) Do you know why you pulled me over, okay, just so one of us does
(11) gee thats terriffic! The last officer only gave me a warning too!
(12) No i dont need a ticket, Im sure Im too busy to go
(13) No officer Im not driving, we are both parked and your talking to me
(14) no i cant get out of the car, i too drunk to stand
(15) leave the siren on, it sounds pretty

 

yanknburn, those were great

no. 8 was hilarious

 

Macho Macho man i wana be a Macho man = In real world when they hear shooting they usually take a extra 10 to 15 minutes at Dunkin Donuts .

 

who would it say that cops can be that witty??

 

Yes very funny, but I have the ultimate cop line-ACtually happend to a friend of mine

Cop pulls him over thinks the kid is high and says...."Are sure you havn't been smoking son, because your eyes look redder than a bulls asshole"

Wow

 

Lol^^^^

 

Cop: Your eyes are bloodshot--have you been smoking pot?
Me: Your eyes are glazed--have you been eating do-nuts?

 

my favourite is "isn't there a donut shop that needs protection?"

 

those were pretty funny, thanks for sharing

 

Damn!! American cops are rough!

 

lmao

 

Are you kidding? Those are the NICE cops. You should see the ones that AREN'T so nice!

 

haha

 

Support your local law enforcement: Open a donut shop.


Protect your local law enforcement. Close local the pork processing plant.

 

"WHAT YOU GONN WHAT YOU GONNA DO WHAT YOU GONNA DO WHEN THEY COME FOR YOU? BAD BOYS BAD BOYS....." Those are hilarious