how to deal with family who thinks your a joke

Ok, my family doesn't think that I'm a total joke, but I am seen as the "odd ball" out of everyone, who are quite conservative. My bf is the same way as them. I actually feel embarassed to talk about some things that I believe because they laugh at what I say and just roll their eyes. It's so frustrating!
Since I moved out on my own a year and a half ago, I've felt much more free to be myself, but then there's the issue of my bf. I don't really have a label for myself....I'm just me....but since finding this place....I've realized that I'm generally a hippie at heart. My bf's classic line whenever it comes to hippies is "fuck them, their stupid!" It pisses me off! Who's HE to say who's stupid and who's not? I DO love him...it just drives me nuts. He wants me to take out my dreads cuz he thinks they're ugly and pathetic...he wants me to shave my legs cuz he says that "women are not supposed to have as much hair as men." He won't even throw his garbage in the garnage. I give him crap every time that he throws things out the window, but he doesn't listen. (Thankfully, one night when we were on a trip home from visiting my mom, he was throwing things out the window, he didn't realize that the window wasn't rolled down enough and his $400 watch got caught on it and flew out!) Things like this drive me crazy.
what do i say to comments like this? All I do is say "whatever, this is how I like myself," and I just get more rolling eyes.

 

Leave him, get truly out on your own AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.

You hear me????

SOON AS POSSIBLE!!!!!!!!!!!

Blessings
Francine

(Sorry to sound so FORCEFUL, hahaha)

 

Well first off if you're going to be who you are no matter what others say, good for you. That's awesome that you're not going to change for anyone. Secondly, because you appear to be a 'hippy' there are going to be things that come along with being a 'hippy' that you're just going to have to get used to. Sure, you're going to get alot of flack for being who you are but that comes with the terroritory. Now as far as your boyfriend; if he doesn't like your dreds or doesn't like that you don't shave, that IS understandable, however if he is still with you he obviously loves you when it comes right down to it. Just be yourself. In the end you'll gain alot of respect because you didn't change for anyone. As far as what 'do you say to comments'. Just remind them that you aren't judging them or trying to make them change and you would appreciate it if they wouldn't judge you or make you change. Ask them if your lifestyle is really that bothersome to them, or what does it matter if you live your life the way you do, is it hurting them in anyway? Should they not be proud of the fact that you are your own person? Just give them some things to think about. Hang in there.

 

tell your bf that you'd like his support. Its sometimes really hard to be yourself when everyone wants you to change, and i think your bf should be there to defend you. if he really loves you then he'll accept you for the way you are. he should love you for everything you are and not what he wants you to be. just tell people that if they love you then they must love ALL of you. dont change!!!!! we love you the way you are!

 

crikey! what a bleep!
where's the love without the respect?

 

That's fucked up. Why can't people letcha be...

 

man if someone was always up in my face about stuff like that it would drive me crazy.i guess on a different note i can kinda relate to what your talking about as i get alot of slack at school for not coming my hair and for not wearing "cool" cloths,all i can say is just keep doing what you believe in and never give into the "majority".

 

Then you've got the right idea.

 

you gotta do what's right for you, but reading your post.....separate yourself from those who don't understand you....including BF, esp him maybe. Find out who you really are. All these people telling you, verbally or by actions, who they want you to be aren't helping you at all. It's really up to you, but i think from what you wrote you need to just be you for a little while, with no interference. give it a try, don't burn your bridges, but get a little space for yourself and see what happens.

 

Me too baby, me too... But through all of the hippy funk I rock, they all know I fight the good fight.

 

thanx guyz.

My boyfriend is just really "old-fashion..." he was the kinda guy in high school who would have never let you forget that your different by making fun of you to everyone.....we're kind of an odd couple. But in a sence I like it, cuz I have, i think, started to get across to him that everyone is a person. Leaving him though, I will not do. One, I'm pregnant. Two, I love him, and I know that he loves me for who I am, I know that. He just needs to learn where the line is between critisizm and out right being rude.
as for the rest of my family............I don't know......I just seem to feel embarassed to talk about the things that I believe in....it's like I'm "ashamed" or embarassed.....I don't get it. I SHOULDN"T be! blah....I don't get it...I'm just like that in general. It's funny. I'm different, I know I am, and I'm proud of it....but at the same time, I'm too shy to admit it......know what I mean?
sorry to blabber on....it's hard trying to find the right words.

 

That doesn't sound that bad... atleast they still talk with you but if they aren't gonna accept you for who you are, just forget about them.. families aren't that important.

Right... if he loved you so much, he wouldn't say things like that.

How in the fuck did you two even get together in the first place?
I predict that he's going to make your life miserable because what you do doesn't suit him or his overinflated ego... you should just leave him now, and find someone more compatible. Life is too short to live for other people... do things that will make you happy.[/QUOTE]

 

I think you basically started off the wrong way on the hippy thing. You aren't with people that are going to accept that shit and probably never will. Why? Because they aren't exposed to a website like this and don't have the family who would inspire them. I guess thats the fun in life, you totally do your own thing and everybody does their own thing also.

I'm sorry you are with a guy that isn't in the same boat, I hope the paths cross at some point in time so the things you guys do differently don't destroy the relationship.

Good luck changing people because they most likely won't. Some of us folks have families (including extended) that are full blown out hippies that its kinda hilarious to observe. I mean I didn't start becoming a hippyish person until last year and didn't take my family's style on it for two pence. But now I'm more accepted after dropping the punk/conservative dress and can really laugh at the things we all have in common. My family doens't smoke dope, they all got over that but they still got the music, dress, and nature lovin thing going on. Eastern relatives are outright leftists, its funny.

I wish some people had this much fun but guess all families are good for something. And whoever said that you don't need a family is pure bullshit, thats who freakin fed you. Love is a need man, if you don't want your own family look to a friends or a partner's. We all need love.

 

you have to realize that you're normal and they're the morons. don't ever change for ANYONE! especially a man! what i do in the prescence of my ultra conservative religious family members is stare at them while silently cracking jokes in my head. and he doesn't love YOU. he loves who he wants you to be. so you might as well break up with him now and get it over with.

 

people are out there
who just dont get that humans are the only creature that destroy there homes the world is crazy i am considered the oddball in my house ,.. my school district im called things from dirty hippie, tree hugger, tree lady , denderfeliac , freak, hmm but people dont think cheak this out okay

the romans ... demolished

the mayans..gone

the aztecs..when was the last time youv seen them

america..at war

middle east...no goverment

but .. then theres hippies who over it all have never gone to war... never harmed a human ... never helped the world demolish itself by supporting housing people like .... lumbering companies who dont listen to people like julia butterfly hill and the rest of us

WE ARE THE REVOLUTION!! WE ARE EARTH !!! WE AREE THE INNER LIGHT!!

 

Wow...

everybody, just wow...

 

Um....your boyfriend is an ass...dump him

 

My dad owns a lumber company and he gots the ultra conservative aura. But he does feel awareness of harming the environment but he doesn't stop, he respects nature. He knows it will grow back over time. Everything does. Tells the treehuggers they just want to be against something.

 

Your bf is a dick ok a real bad dick I don't meant to tell you how to run your life but he seems like a child. You seem like an adult. And as far as your parents go i wouldn't bother to talk to them about anything but the things that keep you on solid ground. i know that you want to share your views , i do to but I know that there is no point in making them think your even more wierd. My parents dont want to know what i think and they neverwill so fuck it.

 

Honey, this is just one more example of how your boyfriend is trying to control you. You've asked advice about him on more than one occasion. I'm really truly worried for you. PLEASE, consider taking our advice. PM me if you need to talk more about this....I've been there done that.

~Angie