dating meat-eaters..?

hello all,

i am just wondering how everyone feels about this. i am a vegetarian of 6 years. i met my first boyfriend when i was 16 and he became vegetarian immediately after we got together (i said nothing to him about it, it was something he had always wanted to do.. and saw how easy it was for me). also, my boyfriend now is a vegetarian (he is italian and teaches me to cook the most amazing things! ..actually, i am becoming a much healthier vegetarian because of him). but about a year ago, i dated a guy who ate meat. at first i didn't think that much about it (he never ate meat around me), but then i started to think about kissing him with the "meat juices" still in his mouth. i know this is probably irrational, but it really bothered me. does this bother other people?

i don't know what to do if someday i meet some cute meat-eater that i really like and has no interest in becoming veg... also, i am vegetarian for most every reason there is (i think eating meat is immoral and unnecessary, i feel clean and healthier.. and by now, it is just my life) so, i am asking if any vegetarians are with meat-eaters and how they deal with these basic differences in principle. also, i know that i want to raise my children vegetarian (of course, i will let them make their own decisions) but i would like the father and i to be the examples as i believe it is a cleaner, healthier, and all around better for everyone way of life.

what does everyone think about this?

 

If my husband wasn't vegan, he would be eating out alot, because I cook dinner most every night and I cook yummy vegan dinners (and I did say yummy). I won't let anyone cook meat in my house. Thankfully, my hubby and I were both vegetarian when we got together and then made the decision to be vegan together. It is great having a support system in this meat eating world and I couldn't imagine dating anyone who did eat meat. It would be very difficult for me.

 

It probably would depend on his actions, If he constantly snacks on hot dogs in front of you, and is always like c'mon, you know you want some. But if he is respectful of your descision (sp?) to not eat meat, you should be respectful of his. I used to date a meat-eater, and the only part that bugged me, was that he kept making up all the scenarios that would force me to eat meat (like hypothetically...would you eat it if...) and he was very inquisitive...but it depends on the person. If he respects that you don't and doesn't wave a sausage in your face then I guess it would be okay.

 

I've thought about this too......because I've only been vegetarian for a year and this is a year that I'm making a point NOT to date anyone so I haven't had to deal with it yet. Ideally, I would like the next guy I have a serious relationship with to be veg*n. I guess you can't really choose who you fall in love with but it's an issue that is really important to me and I would definatley like my partner to share that value.

 

Meh, I wouldn't do it. But I'm set up for the single life and don't really want to seriously date anyone, so take my point of view lightly.

It isn't "oral meat juices" that puts me off, it's the smell that can go along with flesh consumption. Not all omnis smell like flesh eaters all the time, but sooner or later you're going to faced with kissing someone who makes you want to yak.

Then there's the whole thing about the refridgerator full of dismembered corpses. That's a little disturbing.

Most important to me is the mentality that goes along with omnivorism. I could never care deeply for someone who thinks (or doesn't think) that way. To me omni = "just friends".

I've met some veggies who don't seem to mind, though. I guess it's about whatever you feel is important.

 

It was once said to me as an omnivore, "I don't respect your decision to eat meat at all, I only respect that it's your decision to make."

That being said, if someone I like is an omnivore, it does lower my respect for them, though that doesn't mean that I wouldn't go out with them. Similarly, if they have a closed mind about veg*nism, and won't even make an effort to convert, I'll have lost a LOT of respect for them; and it'd be very difficult to be with someone who feels like that. It'd be difficult to make friends with someone like that, let alone be more than friends with said person.

Though I do have various omnivorous friends, most of them are sympathetic to veg*n rules, but (probably) lack the willpower to have any true change in their lives.

 

Why should THEY make an effort to convert? Why can't you? It's close-minded in itself to call someone who wishes to continue their lifestyle, as long as it's healthy, closeminded. It works both ways you know.

Seeing as how I'm veggie for only health reasons, I guess I don't see it the same way. I just don't see anything ethically wrong with eating meat and my boyfriend only eats steaks or junk food, which is fine with me as well. He respects me for what I do just like I respect him for what he does. Good vibes...

 

I was a vegetarian for nine years and had to become a meateater becasue i was pregnant and really sick... well i have been a meat eater(no red meat) for a little over a year now and hate it... i want to become a vegie again but my partner is a hardcore meat eater and junk food junkie.. i am having a problem becoming a vegie agian becasue i have been so long eating meat sometimes i try not to eat meat and forget... its weird i lived with my parents and bros and sis and never once did i have a problem not eating meat but now its so hard.... i dont want him to change.. i want to change but doing it all alone is hard especially witht he smell of bacon in the house (bacon is my down fall)

 

my boyfriend still eats chicken and turkey. i fucking hate it.

 

I totally lack the willpower. I should go to OA meetings, omnivores anonymous

 

It doesn't take any willpower. It's really easy. And you will feel 1000% better.

...yeah, My last two g/fs have both converted to veggie. And I almost never talked about it or anything. I think it was just the constant reminder that I was a veggie that caused them to look at themselves and eventually make the switch. My son and my parents and my sisters are all veggie, too.

 

my last 2 boyfriends have been omni. only a couple of things bothered me about it, like when they'd eat meat and flaunt it all over the place and tell me how i they thought i was probably dyyying to eat it, (which i certainly was not.) one of them tried part of one of my veggi burgers once and actually spent close to half an hour trying to convince me it was actually made of meat. heh, cool guy he was...
the other thing that bothered me was when they'd eat a steak and then expect me to kiss them. i mean, aside from not liking being expected to do anything, the meat juice in the mouth thing did bother me. if they brushed their teeth then that was one thing, but if i could taste meat in their mouth then i thought it kinda ruined the mood hehe.

i'd definately prefer my boyfriends to be vegan or vegetarian. something about that kind of willpower is just really attractive to me. i think it makes more of a connection too - that sounds vague - i mean like it gives you more to agree on and talk about and stuff. like if you were both religious or if you both loved skiing or something. (i think i just compared my diet to skiing...) that being said, i would date (and have dated) omnis, but they have to be open minded and respectful otherwise it's a no go. but then again, i wouldn't date a close-minded disrespectful vegan either...

 

Why should they convert and not me? Very simple answer ... because I already have!

Seriously, though ... it may be close-minded to call someone else that if their lifestyle is healthy, but IT'S NOT. It's neither healthy nor is it morally consistant. And frankly ... it IS close-minded if the other person won't even give veg*nism a complete thought. I'll definately give meat-eating a thought, but there is no way I would go backwards down the latter of morality that I've been trying to climb for a long time; and it's not like I haven't already thought about it a ton. But most people ... they don't even think about it *at all,* and that's a serious problem.

That, and a proper veg*n diet is arguably healthier than a proper meat-eating diet. Both of which are MUCH healthier than a non-proper meat-eating diet, which is almost definately what the person is likely to have (and points to them if they eat healthier than that). And it's not like it's unreasonable to eat meat ... my dad eats meat, but he also kind of requires it, due to his illness and his inability to be a vegetarian (he's tried before, but it was too hard on his body). For a reason like survival, being an omnivore can be overlooked, but ... not over ignorance. (Also ... not that I "forgive" my dad, he'd eat meat even if he didn't have to survive. He's just my bad example today.)

I think it's good that you're a veggie for health reasons, but *you are a veggie for health reasons,* and you're arguing that as long as the other person's diet is healthy, it's okay ... well, it's obviously not healthy, because you changed from that diet to a vegetarian one for health reasons, didn't you?

 

*applaudes*

Totally agree

Seeing as my whole family are omni I've had to learn to live with and love them. Life is too short to build walls and turn away chances to be loved and happy.

Ideally I'd like to find a veggie lifemate, but will just have to see what fate throws. Could prove a valuable learning experience for both of us.

Can't be bothered with all that right now though.

 

few questions and a thought..

1) what do you think is giving veganism/vegeterarianism a complete thought?

2) what do you think is 'ignorance' when you say "for survival, being an omnivore can be overlooked, but ...not over ignorance?"

"you're arguing that as long as the other person's diet is healthy, it's okay ... well, it's obviously not healthy, because you changed from that diet to a vegetarian one for health reasons, didn't you?"

Well, i've been dabbling with vegetarianism for 'health' reasons and a few other personal reasons..but i think i think its very possible to live an equally healthy lifestyle as a meateater. Redmeat is not the healthiest choice for humans, but fish and poultry dont have the same bad qualities that red meat does. I know that since i've been trying to cut out meat i've also cut out a lot of other things, that are in my opinion far worse than meat..like most junk food, soda etc. It has been a lot easier for me to cut out crap food while trying to cut out meat..i guess its made me more aware of what i eat. So when i say i feel healthier not eating meat..i mean it more because i'm exercising more, i'm not eat junk food and i'm just eating healthier in general..not because i removed the few pieces of chicken a week from when i was eating meat.

 

Ideally I'd date people who were vego. I think vegetariansm is really sexy.

however, realistically, the only veg guy I know doesn't like women, so, being faced with a choice between a meatboy and nothing, I'd date a meat eater, only I wouldn't cook meat for him.

One day in the far off futuee thougu, I'd like to marry a veg, raise veg kids...as for now, i can repect their diet (i.e. not convert them ) if they do the same for me.


ok a little off topic but kind of related - I have been finding that this is something some guys do - don't know if girls do it too -

anyway, i've found that they adopt this "i bet i can make you eat meat" attitude, only it's not a mean/bossy/forceful thing as it is with other people. These guys use as a flirting technique. It's very weird, i can tell they are undeniably flirting, but it seems a strange thing to flirt about - does this happen to other people, and does anyone know WHY someone would do that?

 

I have found that as well and commented on it before....they keep coming up with hypothetical scenarios that would cause me to break down and eat meat...its really annoying. People have a tendency to want to change others it seems...

 

Health reasons simply refers to the fact that I have thyroid problems placing my metabolism at almost non-existant levels despite exercising daily, etc. Right now I'm on a near-anorexic calorie intake (without being anorexic ... just lots of veggies) because, while I've always eaten carefully to try to maintain my weight, to lose any I really can't eat anything. I actually think a small amount of meat in my diet is much healthier than strict vegetarian, but I'm trying to lose 20+ pounds so until that happens, no meat other than fish for me. For people who are succeptable to anemia, such as my boyfriend, it would be completely stupid for him to take up a vegetarian diet due to the lack of iron.

In my experience, it's always the vegetarians getting preachy on the meat-eaters, rather than the other way around. I sit with another veggie at lunch, and before I went veggie she would FREAK out at me, or anyone else at the table, when we brough something like grilled chicken or a roast beef sandwich. My view on it is, live and let live. If you're going to expect someone to eat vegetarian for you, then you better suck it up and eat meat with them once in a while. If you're not willing to make that sacrifice, then don't make a big deal out of it. It really isn't a big deal at all.

 

If you have thyroid problems, you might want to research the consumption of soy; assuming you eat it.

I know someone who had a thyroid goitre for many years which amazingly disappeared after eating 1 tablespoon of ground flax seeds every day.

 

The healthiest diet for humans is a the one we evolved on for about 2 million years: the pre-agricultural, paleolithic diet, which includes lowish carbs, and moderate protein a fat.

The only red meat that is unhealthy are the heavily processed meats with nitrites, etc, such as salamis, sausages, other processed stuff. Some "normal", commercial meats may contain undesirable levels of antibiotics.

The hysteria over saturated fat is not as "scientific" as we once thought. The "French paradox" is one example of the misconception: the French eat more saturated fat than we do (they put butter, cream and cheese on EVERYTHING), but less processed food and more fruit & veg, and have much less heart disease.