Drinking Styles by Horoscope

Drinking Styles by Horoscope
ARIES (3/21-4/19)
Impulsive Aries people like to party and sometimes don't know when to call it a night. Their competitive streak makes them prone to closing-time shot contests. They're sloppy, fun drunks, and they get mighty flirty after a couple tipples. Getting Aries people drunk is a good way to get what you want out of them, should other methods fail. Aries can become bellicose when blotto, but they will assume that whatever happened should be forgiven (if not forgotten) by sunrise. They can be counted on to do the same for you -- so long as you haven't gone and done anything really horrible to them last night, you sneaky Gemini.

TAURUS (4/20-5/20)
Taurus prefers to drink at a leisurely pace, aiming for a mellow glow rather than a full-on zonk. Since a truly intoxicated Taurus is a one-person stampede, the kind of bull-in-a-china-shop inebriate who spills red wine on white carpets and tells fart jokes to employers, the preference for wining and dining (or Bud and buddies) to body shots and barfing is quite fortunate for the rest of us. This is not to say that the Bull is by any means a teetotaler -- god, no. A squiffy Taurus will get, er, gregarious (full of loudmouth soup, some would say) and is extremely amusing to drag to a karaoke bar when intoxicated.

GEMINI (5/21-6/21)
Gemini's can drink without changing their behaviour much....they're so naturally chatty and short-attention-spanned that it's just hard to tell sometimes. They can amaze you by conversing with finesse and allusion, then doing something to belie an extremely advanced state of intoxication, like puking in your shoe. Gemini's possess the magic ability to flirt successfully (and uninfuriatingly, which is very tricky) with several people at once. They like to order different cocktails every round -- repetition is boring -- and may create a theme (like yellow drinks: beer, sauvignon blanc and limoncello) for their own amusement.

CANCER (6/22-7/22)
Cancer is a comfort drinker -- and an extra wine with dinner or an after-work beer or six can be extra comforting, can't it, Cancer darling?
Like fellow water signs Scorpio and Pisces, Crabs must guard against lushery. Cancers are brilliant at ferreting out secret parties and insinuating themselves on VIP lists -- and, in true Hollywood style, Cancers are never really drunk; instead, they get "tired and emotional"
(read: weepy when lubricated). But there's nothing better than swapping stories (and spit) over a few bottles of inky red wine with your favorite Cancer. Even your second-favorite Cancer will do. The sign also rules the flavor vanilla, and you'd be adored if you served up a vanilla vodka and soda.

LEO (7/23-8/22)
Leo likes to drink and dance -- they're often fabulous dancers, and usually pretty good drinkers as well, losing their commanding dignity and turning kittenish. Of course, they're quite aware they're darling - Leos will be Leos, after all. They generally know their limit, probably because they loathe losing self-control. When they get over-refreshed, expect flirting to ensue -- and perhaps not with the one that brung them. But Leo's not the type to break rules even when drunk, so just try to ignore it (try harder,Cancer) and expect a sheepish (and hung over) Lion to make it up to you the next day.

VIRGO (8/23-9/22)
Cerebral Virgos are compelled to impose order onto their bender. Their famously fussy quest for purity could lead to drinking less than other signs, sure -- but it could also lead to drinking booze neat, to sucking down organic wine or just to brand loyalty. They rarely get fully shellacked -- but, oh, when they do! Virgo's controlled by the intellect, but there's an unbridled beast lurking within, and they let it loose when walloped. It's dead sexy (and surprisingly unsloppy). As one Virgo friend used to declare, "I'm going to drink myself into a low level of intelligence tonight." A toast to the subgenius IQ!

LIBRA (9/23-10/22)
"I'm just a social drinker," slurs Libra, "it's just that I'm so damn social" Libra loves nothing more than to party, mingle and relate to everyone. Whether dipped in favor of Good Libra (with Insta-Friend device set to "on") or heavier on the Evil Libra side (they are little instigators when bored), the Scales can really work a room. Charming as they are, Libras are notoriously lacking in self-control, however, which can get them into all sorts of trouble -- including wearing their wobbly boots way too early in the evening, flirting with their best friend's beau or even blacking out the night's events entirely. Oops!

SCORPIO (10/23-11/21)
Don't ever tell Scorpios they've had enough, for they'll smirk at you and quietly but intentionally keep tippling till they're hog-whimpering drunk, out of 100-proof spite. Scorpios like to drink, and screw you if you have a problem with that. Most of them see the sauce as something to savor in itself, and not as a personality-altering tool -- though if depressed, self-loathing Scorps seek total obliteration. But generally, they're fascinating drinking pals, brilliant conversationalists and dizzying flirts. They also remember everything -- especially what you did when you were blitzed. Only drink with a Scorpio who likes you.

SAGITTARIUS (11/22-12/21)
In vino veritas -- and, for Sagittarius, in booze blurtiness: When buttered, they'll spill all your secrets and many of their own. Tactlessness aside, Sagittarius is just plain fun to drink with. This is a sign of serious partying (what else would you expect from the sign of Sinatra, Keith Richards, the Bush twins and Anna Nicole Smith?). They're the people who chat up everyone in the room, then persuade the entire crowd to travel somewhere else -- like a nightclub, or a playground, or Cancun.
Good-natured hijinks are sure to ensue (including a high possibility of loopy groping; spontaneous Sag is a brilliant booty call).

CAPRICORN (12/22-1/19)
Capricorn is usually described as practical, steadfast, money-hungry and status-thirsty -- no wonder they get left off the astrological cocktail-party list. But this is the sign of David Bowie and Annie Lennox, not to mention Elvis. Capricorn is the true rock star, independent, powerful and seriously charismatic, not too eager to please. And if they make money being themselves, who are you to quibble? But just like most rock stars, they're either totally on or totally off, and they generally need a little social lubricant to loosen up and enjoy the after party, especially if they can hook up with a cute groupie.

AQUARIUS (1/20-2/18)
Aquarius and drinking don't go together that well (except for water, that is). They have an innate tendency toward know-it-allism, and if they get an idea while sizzled, they're more stubborn than a stain or a stone. If they're throwing a party or organizing an outing, however, they're too preoccupied with their duties to get combative -- and they make perfectly charming drunks in that case. Fortunately, they're usually capital drink-ursers. They also make the best designated drivers (if you can get them before they start raising their wrist): Aquarius is fascinated by drunk people and capable of holding interesting conversations with soused strangers while sober.

PISCES (2/19-3/20)
If you're a Pisces, you've probably already heard that you share a sign and an addictive personality -- with Liz Taylor, Liza Minelli and Kurt Cobain. Not only do Pisces like to lose themselves in the dreamy, out-there feeling that only hooch can give, but they build up a mighty tolerance fast.

Who needs an expensive date like that? On the other hand, they're fabulously enchanting partners, whether in conversation or in crime. With the right Pisces, you can start out sharing a pitcher of margaritas and wind up in bed together for days. The phrase "addictive personality" can be read two ways, you know.

 

yeah the first one does sound like me!

 

Cancer is a comfort drinker, humm thats me..

 

im the "sometimes doesnt know when to call it a quits" for sure...it got me into trouble friday night..hell it gets me into trouble all the time! i feel like eating a kebab....

 

OMG most virgo stuff doesn't apply to me, but this one is dead on!

 

Damn straight! The remembering everything part is funny, because I have only blacked out once in my life, and that is when I drank a whole 750 of bourbon by myself and my friends found me sleeping on the porch in the rain. Most of the time I'm the one telling my buddies the embarrassing shit they did while they were wasted.

Ahhh... good times.

And yes, I have been accused of being a vicious flirt.

Of course, you shouldn't do anything with a scorpio who doesn't like you. They don't like you, so fuck off. If they had a use for you, they would like you, but you're a useless fool, so why don't you go and play with that car battery over in the corner. you fuckin wanker

 

that is so me!!!!!!!!
Gemini.....but sadly my flirting has infuriated one person.

 

would that explain why as an aquarian, even when i'm drinking heavily, i am still the one taking and hiding car keys and taking care of the ones who can't hold their alcohol?

 

PISCES (2/19-3/20)
If you're a Pisces, you've probably already heard that you share a sign and an addictive personality -- with Liz Taylor, Liza Minelli and Kurt Cobain. Not only do Pisces like to lose themselves in the dreamy, out-there feeling that only hooch can give, but they build up a mighty tolerance fast.

I hardly drink anymore....and even when I drank alot I hardly ever got hang-overs

 

I'm technically Virgo, but I was supposed to be born about a week earlier which would have made me Leo... and I'm a very typical Leo. Even with my drinking style.

 

hmmmm...most of the gemini ones apply to me...Its not always easy to tell I am drunk...the one part that isn't like me is ordering a different drink each round....I generally stick to what I start with, although I may throw in a little whiskey if i am drinking beer...thats about it.


this one is funny : They can amaze you by conversing with finesse and allusion, then doing something to belie an extremely advanced state of intoxication, like puking in your shoe


I've done similar

 

Once again... my astrological sign still fits me to a T... i can remember everything from the night before, no matter how wasted i get

 

LMFAO! So true!

 

i'm pretty much what the aries says to the T

 

i'm a leo!

 

hahah thats funny..

 

I'm an aquarius and I'd have to say that fits me pretty well

 

Im aries... and I'd say that pretty much fit....Although I don't drink much anymore (especially now that im pregnant) because of my "not knowing when to call it quits" .... one too many 'drunken outbursts'

 

Somebody get me another pitcher of Margarita's. Guess which sign I am.

 

TAURUS (4/20-5/20)
Taurus prefers to drink at a leisurely pace, aiming for a mellow glow rather than a full-on zonk. Since a truly intoxicated Taurus is a one-person stampede, the kind of bull-in-a-china-shop inebriate who spills red wine on white carpets and tells fart jokes to employers, the preference for wining and dining (or Bud and buddies) to body shots and barfing is quite fortunate for the rest of us. This is not to say that the Bull is by any means a teetotaler -- god, no. A squiffy Taurus will get, er, gregarious (full of loudmouth soup, some would say) and is extremely amusing to drag to a karaoke bar when intoxicated.

Haha, this reminds me of my Dad, who is a Taurus. He's definitely a liesurely pace sorta guy, and sticks almost entirely to beer. If you're watching him drink you might not think he's drinking much because he's just sipping a beer in a liesurely fasion, but if you pay attention he never stops sipping for a moment, before you know it he's sucked up a whole six-pack. He also is what I would call a friendly drunk. Once he's had a few he turns into Mr Rogers. He will start long, friendly (and maybe a little unintelligible) conversations with strangers, wave at everybody he sees regardless of whether he knows them or not, is open to any fun activity that might be suggested and is the guy at the family reunions who will spend an hour and a half telling a nine year old kid he's never met everything there is to know about how to grill a perfect hamburger, asking the kid to fetch him another beer every twenty minutes or so, the kid usually listens because he's just so friendly.