When did your "desires" begin to shift more towards males?

KD23:

IMHO, what it all boils down to, is, NO ONE should give a rat's fuck about WHO does WHAT with WHOM in the privacy of THEIR OWN bedrooms.

The obsession that far too many have with the sex lives of others who are "different" from the mainstream is light-years beyond the insane...............

 

Doesn't change the fact that there are those who do give a rat's fuck, does it? We are all about finding out who's fucking whom, how and where they're doing it, super freaky or plain old vanilla - just human nature or, if nothing else, a quirk we picked up because we know that men have sex with men and women have sex with women. Oh, and not all of the men and women who'd have sex like this are homosexual. We know it; generally do not like it, can't do a fucking thing about it except to bitch and moan and throw shade and putting other dumb shit into things.

This isn't "live and let live;" again, it's "Mind your own goddamned business! Just leave this alone, will ya? It is what it has always been so there's no need in beating this very dead horse!" It says some very bad shit about us because we can't let go of the fact that there are those among us who aren't (a) totally heterosexual and (b) not heterosexual at all. Those poor shmucks want to believe what the bible says about it rather than face the truth of the nature of the beast that is us. So, unless you make it my problem, it's not my problem. I have meant it when I've said, "You can fuck with me about this at your own peril..." because, here in my older age, I have a lot more zero tolerance for stupidity than I did when I was younger.

The only thing insane about all of this is the fact that humans are inherently insane to begin with.

 

KD23:

The last line of your post indeed hits the nail right on the head, no mistake in that............

 

My purpose, if I have one, is to not dissuade guys from accepting that today could be a good day to suck a dick. My purpose is not to hammer them with the bullshit I've been hearing all of my life; my purpose is to tell them to be aware of it because it's not going away but do not let it stop you from doing something that you just might want to do and that a whole lot of men from every walk of life I can think of has tried it; many love the shit out of it and some really are "take it or leave it" about it and some find that it's not for them. But if you don't try, you won't ever know. My purpose is to tell them to not be afraid to admit to yourself that, yeah, oooh, that sounds like a lot of fun; my purpose, again, is to let guys "on the fence" know that (a) they're not the only ones on the fence and (b) some get off the fence because, if nothing else, it's another way to have sex with romance as an option.

I want guys with these shifting desires to suck a dick, to let a man blow them and, if they're of a mind to, find out what it's like to be fucked and what fucking a guy is like. They're not going to do this if they're being constantly reminded of the dumb shit that makes so many of them afraid. Many will find a way to actually do it; many will not and there's no shame in not being able to... but deep down inside, yeah, you know that if you could, you would have already.

Once upon a time, I "what if" myself so much I usually had a headache. What if my mother found out? Well, duh, she knew that when she caught me fucking a boy so it's not like she didn't know. What if my siblings found out? They knew. Other friends? Not all of them knew. Coworkers? None of their fucking business... unless they want to give up the dick and make it their business; otherwise, fuck off already because you're not going to tell me anything I haven't heard a million times or more already.

My purpose is to stop guys from playing the what-if game with themselves; you weight the pros and cons and decide whether or not you can handle knowing that you've been thinking about sex with men, let alone worrying about something that hasn't happened and might not happen. Or it could but, again, it hasn't happened yet. My purpose is to tell them that if you cannot accept this about yourself, you probably won't be able to get anyone else to accept it and it's like someone once told me: If they can't accept it, now you know who your friends are and who accepts you as-is.

 

KD23:

If only more bi/bi-curious males followed your wise philosophy of simple common sense, a mature outlook, and positive self-reasoning, I think a lot of these fellows would be a helluva lot better off, in the long run..........

 

Thought:

In this day and age, who dictates WHAT "desires" are "normal", and which are not?

If it's what YOU desire, well, hell, that's ALL that matters, right?

 

Officially, our social norms dictate what desires are normal and which ones aren't. Many of those things were determined a stupidly long time ago and haven't changed a whole lot although some things have been added to the "not so normal" list like transgenderism. One of the longest running jokes of all time is "what's normal?" And while that which is normal has been defined for us, we always say that normal is whatever the individual says it is... even when what an individual might say could be deemed to be "not so normal."

Is it normal for men to give each other head? Socially and morally, no - it isn't - but men have been doing this for only God knows how long so despite being in the "not so normal" column, there must be something normal about it since men today not only want to do it, but we've also never stopped doing it. Likewise, is it normal for us to fuck each other? Indeed, is it normal for us to even think about such things and when we've been told and warned not to... because it's not normal. Except, men have had such thoughts racing through their minds just the same; many act on those thoughts, many don't but want to, and many more uphold that which is considered to be normal and do not act while banishing such immoral thoughts.

You have the individual right to want what you want but if what you want is considered to be not normal, then the social norms say that you cannot have it, let alone want it. Not that it makes a lot of difference for a great many men which, again, strongly suggests that if "Frank" wants and desires to be fucked, there must be some measure of normalcy involved given that Frank is not unique in this - and Frank isn't a homosexual... which is still considered to be not normal but it's like I once said: All of the homosexuals in the world cannot be wrong. It's also why I've said that bisexuality... fucks up everything we think we know and believe.

Is that all that matters? I would say that, end of the day, it is all that matters that you desire and want to do it if you can figure out how you're going to get it done.

 

KD23:

Excellent post; agree with you 100%.....could not agree more!

 

Just my thought.........

IMHO, I would think that it is "easier" for a bi man to deal with his desires for other males if he's felt them since his "formative years".

BUT, when, out of the blue, a mature male (especially if he is married) who never thought of his having sex with other men, suddenly finds himself fantasizing more and more of sex with other men........that's when he could very well start worrying about being "labeled"......or discovered........it can, indeed, get scary, I am sure..........

 

I'm biased but I'd say that, sure, it's easier when you find out about sex with guys early on because as you grow into your sexuality, you have time to make sense of all you've been learning. It's not to say that an adult male, married or otherwise, couldn't figure it all out but I felt that I had a somewhat "easy" time with this because (a) I was a really smart kid and (b) I hadn't been completely sold on the good and bad stuff and... what is this sex thing you're telling me not to bother with? Shit, my parents should have just told me to go ahead and do it.

But I've seen adult males struggle with this forbidden desire because he's been fully indoctrinated into "the way it's supposed to be;" again, it's not like he doesn't know that men have sex with each other but chances are he's thinking about gay men because, um, what guy getting pussy would want to sleep with a man? And then, he finds himself thinking about doing just that and... what the holy jumped up fuck? I don't know how many times I've said this but the sex is easy; wrapping your head around wanting this kind of sex a whole different critter because adult males have concerns that, um, pre-adult males don't have.

Let's see... I had to do my chores, go to school and do well, practice my music and take care of my cat. Oh, and don't get caught having sex with a boy or a girl. That just about covers it. If I screwed up something, I got grounded or got my allowance nicked and I'd get my ass beat but usually for shit I didn't do... because I had siblings.

I'd be writing for a while to list all of the shit an adult male has to deal with and all that he stands to lose when something - anything - goes wrong... and especially being discovered having sex with men. And, sadly, even mentioning it to a wife or girlfriend might not be a smart thing to do but this is where the shit gets even worse since, supposedly, you and a partner are supposed to have full disclosure between the two of you - no secrets or lies.

I remember having an interesting conversation with a guy about getting caught. He wanted to find out what it was like but had the usual collection of fears and concerns and listening to him talk convinced me that he was 100% sure that if he did what he wanted to do with a guy, he was going to get caught doing it. He cited Murphy's Law - if it can go wrong, it will go wrong and I just nodded because, yeah, that could happen. He talked about a buddy of his whose wife caught him dick-deep in their next door neighbor's butt and all the horrible shit that happened to him and I asked him one question:

"What makes you think that what happened to him is going to happen to you?"

He just sat there with a blank look on his face and that's what convinced me that he just knew he was going to get caught.

"If I come over there and start sucking your dick, do you really believe that your wife is going to walk through my door and catch us?" I asked.

"Well, what if your wife comes home?" he asked.

"She knows that I'm bi and a cocksucker," I said. "But we're not talking about me - and you didn't answer my question."
.
He didn't answer it because he couldn't and I was sure he realized how ridiculous his fear was. I blew him and he even gave me a decent blowjob. No one walked in to interrupt us or to throw accusations at us. We blew each other again. The one thing I told him about what he was afraid of was for him to not be stupid about what he might do with someone else. Be careful means more than don't catch an STD; it means don't do anything that's going to make someone else suspicious of what you're up to.

I know a guy who got himself busted because him and his old lady were talking about sex and she said something about sucking dick and he said, "Yeah, I know..." and realized that he was in trouble when his wife asked, "And how exactly would you know about that?"

Oops. Loose lips sank his ship. Just another example of what "be careful" means. Look, an untold number of men feel the shift and get around to doing something about it and... the only thing that happens to them is they have sex with men, too.

 

KD23:

Excellent, right-on-the-mark, "learn through life's experiences and fuck what others say" response; a great deal can be learned from your words, for sure.

Yeah, when young boys have it drilled into their heads while growing up that ANY sex between males is WRONG, is it any wonder why so many adult men are so terrified of the unfair stigmas associated with M2M sex?

Peer pressure, also, can also inflict quite a bit of damage, unless, of course, you discover that at least a few of your buddies are also of a "like mind"........... ........

 

I think I’ve known for years that I had these desires, but they have become stronger recently. Being married, makes this difficult even though my wife knows I fantasize about sex with guys

 

I think that you are quite lucky that, at least, your wife KNOWS that you think of sex with other men, and that it is not a secret you hope that she will not discover.

In that, you are pretty fortunate, for sure........

 

It’s just so hard to find anyone locally to meet for fun.

 

I am sure you are far from alone on this; even in the big cities/urban areas, depending on where you are, it can also be difficult to "hook up" with another guys.

Many factors come into play here, including being able to (or not being able) to host, availability, weeding out the "ghosters" (no shows), etc.

I've certainly read enough to know that getting together with guys for M2M fun is not always as "basic" as it seems.........

 

Peer pressure is a motherfucker and a half. Children are some of the evilest people to be born because they lack tact and couth, things they probably won't learn until they're adults... and if they learn it by then. Can it be damaging? Sure - lots of horror stories about guys letting peer pressure 'coerce' them into doing something they don't want to do and now they're traumatized for the rest of their life, paying therapists a fuck-ton of money for sessions and right along with antidepressants and all because they caved into something because (a) they 'presented' themselves as a potential victim or, even more likely, (b) they caved because they wanted to be a part of the whole.

When I was growing up and, literally, the day after I learned about cock, I found out that the majority of my friends (a) already knew about it and (b) were eager to find out about it. There were some who literally wanted to be one of the boys, hanging out with us and doing boy-stuff... except getting into the sex that boys can get into with each other. As such, I got to see peer pressure first-hand and I'd seen fights break out to defend the guy being pressured into getting naked and sexed in some way. I've seen peer pressure make a guy cave because he wants to but he's afraid to and the pressure put on the guy was, simply, if you're not going to do what we like to do, you can't hang out with us so in order to be a part of the whole, they had sex with us.

Many loved it; some didn't. I didn't like seeing it happen and, all too often, I was powerless to do anything about other than to verbally object when it was obvious that the guy being pressured was in distress. Now, what is really messed up was knowing guys who managed to survive the peer pressure to engage in homosexual sex, only to grow up and... now their every thought and dream is filled with hard cocks and cum and it's inexplicable but those thoughts and feelings are proving to be hard to deny. I've had sex with guys who admitted to caving into peer pressure when they were young, only to find themselves deep into sex with men and it's not easy to explain why he now enjoys it when he never wanted to experience it before this point in his life.

The problem is that, yes, we are told that sex or any form of affection that isn't just vanilla friendship is wrong and makes you a queer and someone to be hated and despised and, sadly, subject to mental and physical abuses. The reality is that peer pressure can help reveal the truth - it's not as bad as we were told it is. Why? Because it wasn't bad to begin with but there's the disconnect between social and moral norms and life's realities. It's also one of the major reasons why some men can't resolve this because they were told to never, ever even think about sex with men and now? They want it. They need it. What the fuck.

 

KD23:

AAAAAA++++++++++++++++

WELL said, my friend!