Evopsych for wanting to see your girl fucked by another man

I developed a SPH fetish ( small penis humiliation) and ended up in a very mutually enjoyable cuckold relationship after my gf at the time confessed to cheating with guys who had much bigger dicks (mine is actually very tiny) I have been in several relationships since then and I have watched several women being fucked by bigger dicked guys.
I love seeing them cum while I play with my tiny penis.

 

If you THINK you can enjoy watching her getting off with another man, the reality of it can be completely mind blowing, in different ways. Two cases in point from my experiences.

With my ex-wife, We had discussed the idea of her being shared, either in a MFM Or her becoming a Hot Wife. The MFM Never worked out, but she Ended up being a Hot Wife With the same younger guy, frequently, For six months. While she was on a “date”, And I was alone at home, my emotions were all over the place. What are they doing? Is he better, and/or have a bigger cock than me (turns out he did). While waiting for her to return home, I was totally turned on, while being jealous and insecure. But when she returned home a horny, used, and full woman I forgot all about my insecurities. That is until one night we’re going at it after she had been on a date, and she somewhat confessed to feeling that she was falling in love with him. WTH?
With my current wife, we fantasized a lot about MFMs…. it was a thing for both of us. when it eventually happened, (planned) with a good friend of ours, I was not totally prepared for my emotions. He was really good, and when I witnessed her letting herself go…. which is what I wanted…. I started feeling in adequate, insecure, and jealous. fortunately I got through those feelings, and we both gave her a great time. so much so that we had a few more MFMs with him.
To be blunt, you are never totally prepared until you see her guiding his bare cock inside, watching her orgasm with him, and witnessing him cuming in her. We knew that he was safe/clean, and she was on the pill.
We could not envision her with a stranger…..NO WAY! But with a close trusted friend, it was great. Sadly, after a few MFMs the Mrs put a stop to the festivities. she later confessed that our single friend was falling in love with her. DUMB SH*T. it was supposed to be just sex. fortunately she realized it, and said no more. was she physically falling in love with him? we had a great sex life…. why can’t sex with others just be SEX? The human brain is a complex organ. sometimes good, other times a curse. What are you gonna do?

 

HOLY SH*T imagining another guy cumming in my little wife is pretty much all I masturbate to now. It's the hottest fantasy imaginable.

Ack. Yeah I really want to see her orgasming and getting fucked by another guy - I'm not sure I'd want to be hotwifing though - especially given that it could wind up like this. I want to share her pussy and her body - but I'm holding on to her heart.

 

That is the advantage of finding a bull. The first guy my girlfriend had sex with was a man recommended by her friends, at a house party. He was popular with the women and played around with lots of other women. It was clear he was not going to be with any one woman.

 

I guess - but if she's consistently having sex with a particular guy, my intuition is that she'd start to have feelings for him.

 

She did have feeling but sex only and a friend

 

I have a tiny penis and have enjoyed a few cuck

- style semi open relationships. Two different women carried on in relationships with me even when I didn't satisfy them sexually because I was willing to have a far broadened sex life which meant they could get satisfied by others but also the non sexual
part of the relationship was good. An example of this was when a former boyfriend became a semi regular fuck buddy. They were still friends and had broken up over non sexual issues. He was very good in bed though and was much bigger than me (she definitely missed that when she hooked up with me)
She hooked up with him a few times without my presence but I enjoyed seeing her fucked by him on about a half dozen times. He definitely made her cum but she still wanted to stay with me.

 

I have written about this a fair amount on HipForums. I think jealousy is more a conditioned response borne out of a long history of patriarchy, in-group out-group dynamics and a sense of ownership. This is particularly so in the West where the death cult Abrahamic religions have instilled in us a strong sense of patriarchal hierarchy, but clearly this idea of ownership and dominance of the masculine is deeply embedded in most civilizations after the fall of the goddess cults. Therefore we can be hung up on this idea of raising another man's kids. I have stepkids, because my wife had kids from a marriage before mine. Some guys find it difficult to understand why I would want to raise them, and some people have argued that I could never bond with them more than their biological father could. (The fact is, he was not a significant part of their lives and I bonded with them very early much more than he ever did!) Nonetheless, I would not have wanted my wife to have another man's child after we got married-----not so much that I wouldn't love them, but because of the social implications. I would not want to explain to my siblings and parents why, for example, she had another man's baby after we got married.

But how would I feel personally about another man's baby? There was a time, and I have told the story on here, when we are certain that she was pregnant with another man's baby. And it made us both very horny just to think about it. We had sex constantly--probably part of the reason why she did have a very painful period, but it was almost a month late, suggesting that she miscarried his baby. But if she had given birth to another man's baby----I would have loved it just like any other of her children, and it would have been a constant reminder of the very hot Thursday night till noon on Friday at a Love Hotel, Saturday night in his car, and monday morning in his bed that she spent with this guy. We relived those moments many times, but a child would have been a reminder of the thrills for life.

Granted there is something special about your own child. When she gave birth to my son, I recognized him right away as mine, and there was an instant bond. But the whole hang up on paternity is more social construct than otherwise. I say this because there are plenty of indigenous tribes where paternity is a non issue for a father. For example, in many tribes in South America, it was common for women to sleep with numerous men when they want to have a baby, because they wanted their child to have all the benefits and skills of each of these men. They would all take part in raising him, but the most important father was her spouse. There are many tribes where the women will sleep with various men before she gets married, and may keep a lover, but all the children, even those born before she chose a spouse, or out of wedlock, are considered to be the children of her spouse.

So I don't think jealousy is built into our DNA. But consider that we are a species wherein the women tend to be more vocal during sex. We know that in other species where that is the case, the sexual vocalizations of the female serves to call forth other potential mates. who observe voyeuristically and then seek to mate with the female after she is done. This keeps the gene pool rich and diversified. Likewise, we know, and many of us who have shared our wives have experienced, that the shape of the penis---the shape of the head in particular, serves to scoop out another man's cum. And I don't know about others, but when I have repeated sex with my wife I am not so sensitive to feeling my own cum within my wife, but I can definitely notice when another man's cum is inside of her, even a day later. And then, which I think you allude to, science tells us that when a man is with a woman who he knows has recently had sex with another man, that he has a more intense and profuse orgasm, and I certainly believe that to be true from my own experience.

Therefore I think that the reason it is so exciting to many of us, lies within our DNA as a throwback to our more distant ancestors, and that was intended to create a diverse gene pool.

Then of course there is the forbidden fruit aspect to it. When my wife and I first met, we were both in unhappy (but sexually active) marriages, and I was her lover and she was my mistress. Extramarital affairs are forbidden fruit and in Asia they often said that there is nothing so sexually exciting as an extramarital affair, and I agree. It was incredible (and sharing is the one way we could keep that level of excitement going even after we married).

But as previously mentioned, the human mind is complex. Love is an issue. My advice is that you know your spouses body extremely well before you share her---so that you will always be her best lover, the one she will always come home to. Of all the lovers my wife has had, I am the only one that can consistently bring her to multiple orgasms. She has achieved it a few times with others, but they could not consistently do that. Not that she always wanted that anyway. But the thing is, I knew best what she wanted, and knew everything about her body and what it responded to. Then there is the loving that can be deepened in open relationships. Honesty and communication is a big part of it, so in our case it was important that she be very sharing with what happens between her and her lover. And this was part of the excitement, I wanted to know everything that happened and even replay it.

She had one lover for almost two decades. And she did develop feelings for him. But she would have never left me for him, and I knew that. But there were times when I was jealous, and times that she weaponized it against me (she is a Filipina and yeah, if you get them mad there are no holds barred). He had a very large cock and it would always leave her stretched out. But I was never jealous of that. I was excited that he could create sensations for her that I could not. And it was further proof (in addition to his cum) that she had satisfied him, and was satisfied by him, when she came home to me, and was stretched out. And there were countless times that she would call out his name and express her love for him as she climaxed, and it was hot to me. (I heard her call out my name and love for me while climaxing on his cock, and he did not like that so much.)

But we did have a rule that if she did develop feelings for him, that she would have to add another lover, in order to keep the focus on this as a sexual game within our marriage, so after, I think a year or 2 of just one lover, she got started having an additional one or so. But she still had feelings for him. He finally moved away because she would not leave him for me, but he has come back to town a few times and they still hook up when he does. The last time was last summer.

 

I feel extreemly lucky to have been there, Before we were married. It was a Non Issue in the late 60s. Everyone was sexual, without the hangups. Maybe we were all so high, it didn't matter.. My wife and I had seen each other having sex with others, Before we got together and married. We were both into whatever might happen. Thing was, we always did it together and it was something that made us both excited and happy.

 

Part of the falling in love, according to science, is the cuddling after sex, and my wife loves to cuddle after sex. And I don't want to deprive her of that part of the sexual experience even if it is with another man. Apparently, when we cuddle in the after-glow of sex, this releases serotonin or whatever the love chemical is, lowers cortisol, etc.

We would cuddle all night, our naked bodies holding each other tight as we slept after sex, and this main partner that she had for many years, there are times that they spent the whole night together before she came home to me. I let her go on a few trips with him, the first time to a funeral of one of her relatives, and I could not go because I was very busy at work. When she insisted that she needed someone to go with her, and asked if she could bring him, the first thing that went through my mind was what a customer had told me about a volatile stock market----"This market is going up and down more than a bride's panties on her honeymoon." I got an instant hard-on and agreed to it. But this was the first time she couldn't come straight home to me, and let me have her, so I said there would have to be a concession----so this is when I started listening in to their lovemaking via her phone. (Later when we realized we could face-time with Face Book messenger, we started doing that). He would not have liked it, so we set her phone to say, CHARGING, for my phone number. This means I also got to listen to their love talk as they cuddled. But I was always secure in our relationship and knowing that she will always come home to me.

And yes, I would say that weekend was like a honeymoon for them. When she came home she was stretched out for days. I think she got back on a Saturday, and tuesday it was still noticeable. Normally when she was with him, she would be stretched out when she got home that night, and it was still noticeable the next morning or afternoon.

After that I let her go on several vacations with him---they went on a cruise to the Bahamas, and she would occasionally spend the weekend at his brother's cabin with him. About the second time in this little 2 bedroom cabin, she realized that his brother was listening in on their lovemaking at the door, so she would be extra loud for him when she moaned and climaxed, etc. (When she got on top, she could see his shadow from the light of the living room under the door.) So when I heard that I suggested we tease him and maybe something would happen between him and her. I came up with the idea that she sends her lover off to town to pick up some things and then she comes out of the shower and accidentally exposes herself to the brother. (On her way out of the bathroom she got her towel stuck in the door, with her hands appearing to be full and have it pull her towel off. It worked perfect! And since her hands were full she had to walk to the table to set the things down, saying, "Well, I guess there is nothing to hide now.") She also wore more revealing clothes when she was at the cabin. Including see-through negligees. Nothing ever happened between them, but she did tell him that she knew he was listening in, and told him that it makes her feel sexy, when he does that. She left him a gift of one of her panties that she made sure had her scent on it (one of my other ideas) and they would flirt back and forth. (Filipinas are very flirty anyway). I also let her spend a weekend with another young lover at a hot spring where it is clothing optional 24 hours a day. One of our favorite places to soak.

When she first started seeing this guy that I referred to as her main lover, he was still married. Sometime after he went with her to the funeral, he rented an apartment which served as their love nest. When you went there, it was very clear what the purpose of the apartment was----sex. There was a small table in the living room/dining room. There were a couple of chairs. There were some pots and pans and cooking stuff and a refrigerator in the kitchen. But the bedroom was the only room that was fully furnished and had a TV and dvd player with some porn videos, or as my wife used to say, "bold movies." His wife discovered his affair and divorced him and this then became his residence (which made it more difficult for me to go there), but he never really changed anything in the apartment.

We don't have any bad feelings about his marriage, because from the very start he actively pursued my wife, even with the knowledge that she was married.

 

Did your wife ever measure her lover’s dick size? How thick was his cock? How long?

 

Not that I know of. She would always refer to it as 9 or 10" and that it was very thick, but I don't know how big it truly was. But, I have seen it many times watching them have sex on FB messenger, and I would say that it was certainly big, both long and thick.

I think I am pretty average around 7". Prior to me my wife had only been with Filipino and Japanese men. And she said that I was the biggest she had up until this guy. Having visited many Japanese sento's or public baths, and traditional hot springs, I can say that yes, it is true that Japanese men tend to be smaller. There are those who have large dicks, but overall, they do tend to be smaller. I had a lot of Japanese girls reach down and grab me over my trousers, saying they wanted to know if it was true, and then respond that it was.

The first time my wife and I had sex, she later told me that it was painful, but it felt so good. Over the next couple of years some of her friends remarked that she had told them the same thing about the first time she was with me. I have heard Filipinas tell my wife similar stories about their Western lovers (Filipinas love to talk about sex, and my wife will tell them early on that I understand Tagalog, to which they respond, "oh that's nice," I think assuming that I can say thank you and a few other phrases, and then I sit quietly and hear the juiciest details of their sex lives). This has included Filipinas in Japan that sought black foreigners because of the size of their dicks.

But picture this, my wife is only about 5'2" and this guy is well over 6' tall. (I, myself, am only 5'7"). I would guess he is in the neighborhood of 6'6". When they first started going out, and she realized how big he was, she was actually afraid of doing it with him. They spent months of heavy petting, and she would not let him go further. She would come home from dates with his cum dried onto her stomach and later on her pussy lips, but she was afraid to have him inside of her. And when it did happen, it was painful for her, though it was also good she said, and the feeling of him cumming inside of her was really intense. But they had sex multiple times before she ever climaxed with him. I tried to coach her to relax, or take it slower, etc. Because I wanted her to come home and tell me how she had orgasmed with him. I don't know if it was psychological, or if she had to learn to accommodate him, or what, but, it wasn't happening. You have to understand that she knows her body very well, and loves sex, and knows how to bring herself to climax, so she always had an orgasm. And like I have probably said before, she would be loose and stretched out after being with him, something no other lover has done to her from my perspective. My wife is very tight, but after she is with him, it is easier for us to do it doggy style, for example, because she is opened up.

They both loved to gamble, so I suggested they get a room at a casino up in the mountains. They went up on a Friday night, gambled till sometime past midnight, and then went to the room where she finally climaxed with him. When she called me afterwards, I asked her what room and wrote it down. (We rented the same room the next weekend, and have rented it multiple times over the years. One time they returned to the casino and she asked him to rent that same room. "Why do you want that room?" he asked, oblivious to the significance to the room number. "Don't you remember? That's were you first made me cum?!" ) When they woke up the next morning, they had sex again, and again she climaxed, so we knew it wasn't a one time fluke.

I wrote the story of their first encounters here on HF. It has been a number of years and I'd have to hunt it down, but I believe I have the tale written down, which I can share. (I started keeping a journal of our sexual adventures in Japanese (at first I did it in English but my wife was afraid that the kids would find it, so I destroyed that one, and rewrote it in Japanese. It was started probably a year or two after they started seeing each other, so that entry was from memory, but I wrote a version of that entry in English because---I enjoy sharing the story----not as much as living it-----but I still enjoy it----reliving it through someone else's first experience of it.

 

Another point about why the thought of this, or even actually doing it, makes us so turned on, is that it involves first experiences.

In Asia people put a lot of value on first experiences, and I have learned that from them. In Japan, there are special names for the first time you do many mundane things at the beginning of the year---the first morning, the first time you boil water, the first time you get on your boat if you are a fisherman or boat owner, etc. The first time you have sex at the beginning of the year is himehajime, which translates to 'First Princess.' (I love to wish Japanese girls a Happy Himehajime on New Years day----they always laugh and sometimes blush!)

Filipinas often ask, "Have you ever been with a Filipina?" and my wife has often asked this question. In fact, I had often missed the significance of this question until a Filipina talked about it in her YouTube posts about how to pick up Filipina girls, though I have always understood the significance of it instinctively after so many years of living in Asia, and knew exactly what my wife was getting at when she asked it. I guess what I realized with this YouTuber is that the question is more than just an individual girl wanting to rock your world, it is literally a cultural understanding and pride in their own sexuality. Basically, the meaning behind this question is that they want to be your first Filipina. They want to be the one that you always think of when you say, I had sex with a Filipina. It gets back to this appreciation of the first time.

And I do think that the first time any of us have sex with a new partner is a highlight of our sexual experience with that person----even if it is clumsy, or awkward, or not as good as when we get to know their bodies better. I may not remember every sexual encounter I have with someone, but I certainly remember every first encounter. I think this is an implicit understanding in the Biblical phrase, 'to have knowledge of someone.' Once you have been with someone many times, that knowledge of who and how they are at their most intimate shared level loses significance to you especially when compared to when you first got to know their body, and how they react during arousal, climax and in the afterglow.

You can only experience the First Time one time. After that, all you can do is try to find the same value in the repeated experience, or try relive it through the first experience of others. When I first went to Japan, for example, it was such an amazing experience, I loved every minute of it---from the architecture I was surrounded in, the culture, the people, the food, the billboards, and traffic signs---everything was new and different. We hippies certainly understood the importance of experiencing things anew---as if a child seeing the world for the first time, and so much of the hippie experiences taught us this---the concept is in songs, drugs gave us this appreciation, art was about re-experiencing the world anew, etc. But after a year in Japan, it started to get a bit mundane. I still loved it, I still appreciated the differences and was finding new things in Japan to experience for the first time. But it wasn't the same. And then I discovered that I could relive this through someone else's eyes. I first went to Japan as a student for a year, and one of my favorite things to do after that year ended, was to show up on campus and meet the new students coming in, and to be the one to show them things in Japan for their first time. I was able to re-experience Japan for the first time again through their eyes. It was, literally an addictive experience.

So this sharing, at least in our case, enables us to relive first experiences, I can do it through her, and she through me in the case where she has allowed me to have another lover. The whole first experience of a new lover is a powerful and wonderful experience. It is important to go into it with the understanding that the purpose is not to seek a new exclusive relationship with someone else, but to relive the first time to refresh the experience within your marriage. It is for the two of you to experience with another person within the confines of your marriage.

It was always intensely satisfying for both of us as she experienced a new lover, and he got to experience her sexually for the first time. And yes, for every lover she had been with here in the States, she was their first Filipina.

But this does not mean that once sex becomes regular with another partner that it becomes mundane and boring. And I think this is because of the nature of these relationships. As I have stated, when my wife and I met, it was an extramarital affair for both of us. From the very start it was a very sexually charged relationship, with continuous sexual tension relieved momentarily when we were in bed together. I would be on my way to work, and the smell of her on my clothes would turn me on. I would be in Osaka with my wife, and I'd catch a scent of her in my clothes, or hear her voice on the phone, and I'd be turned on. I think this was true for both of us, and I believe that it was wanting to keep this sexual energy strong that drove us to sharing despite the fact that sharing had long been a fantasy of mine anyway.

With the guy that I have described as her main lover, the relationship has gone on for a little over two decades now. He now lives on the other side of the country, and left because she would not leave me to marry him, but on the rare times he does return they do meet and do have sex. For most of that relationship they had sex weekly, and often times 2 to 4 times a week. And for us it never got boring or mundane. I was turned on the whole time they were together, and as soon as she got home, I enjoyed her to the fullest. It always had the dynamics of an illicit affair. He thought I was the jealous husband, a part I played, because he didn't want to face the fact that her and I were still in love and together. She would lie to him that we weren't having sex, which is what he wanted to hear. There would be sneaking around (even from my side, when she would stay at their love nest, saying that she would take an uber home, because she was tired and wanted to sleep, but actually she was just waiting for me to have sex, in the same bed and spot where they had just done it----as if I was the illicit back door man sneaking in to their place when he left). Never once in all those years did I ever feel it was boring, or that I did not get a hard on---even just thinking about it.

Which brings me to my last point-----our life can pass by so quickly. There are things that happened 5 or 10 years ago, and it seems like it was yesterday. The only way to slow life down, and I have recently heard people talk about this problem on the radio and other places, is to experience each moment with, what we call today, mindfulness, and to really live in that moment. If it is something that is giving us a memory, then we are on the right track of experiencing life to the fullest. Think about it, all the days of the past year, you were alive in each moment, but what do you really remember of it----and 5 years from now----how much of that will you remember? I imagine most people with mundane lives, mundane jobs, mundane meals----each day passes by as if in a whirlwind. And when their life is over-----what a waste!

From the time I was a young kid. I knew that such a mundane life is not what I wanted. I think this is part of the whole hippie thing----to experience, man! And everything I ever did was to do just that! I wanted a career that would be exciting and never mundane. I started out in college in philosophy because I also wanted it to be meaningful. But then I switched to the stock market--I wanted the excitement, the adrenaline, the money. I traveled, I collected art, I took on a Filipina mistress and had great sex. I've been rich, I've been poor, I've been everywhere. I'm not saying this to brag. I'm saying this because everyone should do this----otherwise you have just wasted your whole damn life!

Sharing your spouse is not for everyone, but you should strive to fight the mundane and boredom together, and to find that kink or whatever that brings intensity to your lives. And there are no excuses. Money doesn't matter. There was a time in the Philippines where every day was a struggle just to put enough food on the table to feed everyone and I had 5 kids, and then 6 to feed. But every day was an adventure. Every day I stopped to admire an incredible Philippine sunset. In our case, sharing is one of the ways that we have lived life to the fullest----experiencing each moment with an intensity that gives you feelings and memories. And in between you have those moments of quiet----also very mindful----like sitting with a piece of art------or sipping mint tea while quietly listening to a Persian setar. (Yes, I said that correctly---not an Indian Sitar, a Persian setar, which is different, though I dig the sitar as well, and actually have one---but listen to Persian Setar music to see what I mean...)