For bi men whose wife is still "in the dark".......

KD23:

Another excellent, in-depth "commentary".....good work, as always!

 

Personally, I believe that the term "juggling act" well describes the bisexual married man whose wife is "still in the dark" regarding his having sex with other men............

 

It can be a juggling act but for the guy who has his shit properly locked down and in order, there's no juggling - it's just another day in his life. You know that since she is almost guaranteed not to approve of this, then she cannot ever know even though, in my own observations, some wives figure it out and... they don't say anything about it because homey is 100% taking care of his obligations as a husband and father (if applicable). He's not doing it with another woman and if they're still having sex, well, he knows that he'd better be able to give it to her good when she wants it - and any slacking on his part could arouse suspicions provided she hasn't figured it out yet. True enough, some wives never find out because the husband never gives her a reason to question anything about him; you cannot - and you better not - assume that women are that stupid and clueless.

 

kD23:

In going through old topics, I see I somehow neglected to respond to your post; your comments got me to thinking........

As long as the wife is getting all the sex she wants from hubby (and she is still "in the dark" to his bisexual desires, does the husband figure that, as long as wife is sexually satisfied, it will continue to allow her to be totally oblivious to his M2M action?

Or, IF she DOES find out about her husband's "other side", is she more or less OK with sharing her husband with other men, as long as continues to give her what she wants in the bedroom?

Indeed, it could go either way.............

 

Error

 

Error

 

IMHO, anyone who thinks that a bisexual married male does not have to deal with some serious issues, in regards to trying to appease his desire for males, and yet keep his marriage intact, has no clue whatsoever as to what challenges must be met....

 

Though not bi myself, I would not want to be in any of the more "sensitive"/"volatile" situations that can (and do) occur between a bi married male and his none-too-thrilled wife.

So much can be (and usually is) at stake, involving not only the husband and wife, but other family members as well

A great deal, certainly, depends on the wife, and how she takes the news that her husband is bisexual...............

 

The bywords for bisexual husbands:

Maturity

Common sense

Courage

Self-esteem

 

I've long maintained that a married bisexual male more than has enough challenges to be dealt with.

How does he keep the wife satisfied ( and "in the dark"), maintain the socially-acceptable, clean-cut image of a "happily married family man", take care of the kids, and STILL try to make time for a connection(s) with other males?

An intricate and delicate "juggling act", to be sure............

 

At least the fellows who juggle for a living in circuses and carnivals are getting PAID to juggle......

 

Also, think about the bi married male who, though his wife is "in the know", and puts up little to no resistance to his desire for men, we also have to think if the kids involved, especially thoseolder ones who are "more or less" savvy with different sexual orientations.....how do THEY react when they discover THEIR dad is also into other men?

I think many often lose sight of this highly-sensitive aspect.......

 

.....my previous comments are making me wonder how many kids disown their dads if/when they discover that he is having sex with other men.

I am sure there have been many families torn apart, for sure, and it is both heartbreaking and tumultous..........

 

Once again, yet again.....for every married bisexual male, there indeed must be as many stories.

NEVER underestimate a wife's "intuition", if you are believing that she'll never "get wind" of what you are doing with men "pn the side".

Even I know one can never be 100% certain, and it would be foolhardy to believe otherwise........

 

....cannot help but think that maybe more than a few bi men, AFTER getting married, wished they had remained single, for obvious reasons..........

 

As we have discussed elsewhere, I think many men (straight or bi)are all too often under the delusion that having a wife translates into her "putting out" whenever and wherever hubby is in the "mood".

Talk about later experiencing one helluva "reality check".....(!!)

 

That's the way it used to be until the law said that a wife doesn't have to have sex with her husband if she doesn't want to. A victory for women who were being beaten and abused for refusing to have sex with their husband and it took a bunch of motherfuckers going to prison with life sentences for raping their wives before men really got the message but it created yet another quandary: If hubby wants sex and wifey has the legal right to refuse him, what's he supposed to do?

Nothing. Any wonder why a lot of men when on the DL to get 'new' pussy and to have sex with other men whose wives were refusing to have sex with them? I would doubt that there are a lot of men who still believe that he has the right to her body whenever he wants and she cannot refuse him and if there are any still out there, they're laying low to keep from winding up in a prison cell eating grape jelly out of their celly's asshole.

 

KD23:

Good response, as always.......keep on "tellin' it like it is", my friend!

 

....."desires" indeed can (and do) shift over the course of one's lifetime; sometimes,these desires are ones that, without warning, begin to make their presence known.

Other "desires" are those you've harbored (and had hidden) for many years.

IMHO,"desires" eventually come to manifest themselves into a more powerful force, a force that you find yourself more and more "in sync" with.

Do you act upon them, setting the wheels in motion?

Or, do you continue to keep them "under cover", for fear of your "true self" being discovered by others with little or no tolerance for anything they deem "not the norm".

Again, there are as many stories within this realm as their are men...........

 

....personally, I think many bi/bi-curious men end up being sorry that they ever "tied the knot".

This is exactly why I believe that bisexual married men are faced with a tremendous responsibilty.

"Do I give in to my desires to have sex with other men??"

"Do I not risk my marriage, and keep my "urges" to myself?

It cannot be atall easy for so many men in this ulrta- sensitive situation..........