Pride celebrations: Your thoughts?

I am mostly in the closet and go to pride parades with my wife and everyone just assumes we are straight allies. You do not have to flaunt your sexuality at pride events.

 

Last three years similar to you I have attend pride month as more of ally …

last month I joined as ally at work for our lgbtq group …became a community member. Since got to meet some amazing ppl that are in the open enjoying life ….last week I met this peer who is open ..he is in his mid 20s and he actually asked me out, we hooked up last week. We had an amazing hot mm sex…we are planning to take the relationship further …

 

Last year I went to what is called Pride in the Park (Montebello Park in St. Catharines Ontario Canada) with a bunch of gay friends of mine, my first time at such a thing, but yet another event in my gradual coming out process. At 62, after 30 years of being a closet bisexual, I've only in the last few years started doing things like openly getting together with a large group of gay men in our weekly meetups in straight pubs, going for coffee and dinners where I'm openly holding their hands at the table or even kissing a guy (in public!) before heading back home for sex, going to a straight dance club and dancing with my gay date for hours, etc. I've even started coming out to a select group of friends over the last couple of years.

I have survived the name-calling and beatings by school classmates because I had "gay characteristics" (only now I understand those traits may have been there because I was born homosexual and only in recent years have come out to myself as such), repressing my gay desires for many years (even while sucking hundreds of cocks for decades), and scared to show any "gay characteristics" to my very straight family, relatives, and regular friends (whatever you do don't let that pinky rise up while drinking from a glass).

It was only when I finally lost my gay virginity, as a top, in 2013, the greatest sexual experience of my life, that I truly acknowledged the gay side of myself, and I not only accepted it, but I began to really love it. I actually now feel and say that I'm very proud of being gay. But that statement is all wrapped up in my lifelong struggles with my homosexuality, and my survival of them, and to finally have the courage and determination to live my truth.

But I still won't be driving to Toronto for its huge huge gay pride parade and festival, at least not this year yet, because most of my gay friends tell me about how much of a super overcrowded chaos it is. But I do have to say part of me wants to march in the parade to announce with great pride and joy my homosexuality for the world to see (whether they accept it or not). I'm in solidarity with all gay and bisexual people! There are more of us than the world can even admit. And we are stronger, individually and as a group, than all the bigots out there put together.

With great sadness and disappointment I just discovered today, super coincidentally, that the annual, long time custom of Pride in the Park won't be happening this year. It has something to do with negotiations with the City of St. Catharines.

 

Benjamin Franklin once wrote that we must all hang together, or we will most certainly all hang separately. There are now over 30 different Pride flags. According to Gallup, LGBTQ+ folks make up only 9.3% of the population. There's strength in numbers, and under the present regime, solidarity is needed now more than ever. Consider the success the haters have had demonizing and persecuting Trans folk. Make no mistake; Niemöller was right. I don't know that focusing upon our differences rather than our similarities, further splintering of our community into ever smaller cliques and factions, is such a good idea.
I wish everyone a joyous Pride.

 

Had to "reboot" this old topic I started quite awhile ago.....

I was talking to a very good friend (straight, but VERY liberal) upstate earlier; he was reading something on the 'net about pride celebrations.

Before I could respond, he said:

"Everyone should be proud of WHO and WHAT they are, BUT (here my friend paused) why do the people in these Pride celebrations dress and cavort like they do? All they are doing is re-enforcing demeaning stereotypes and fueling homophobic attitudes even more?"

I replied that I totally agreed and told him that such "pride" events make me (a totally masculine gay man) cringe inside, when you realize that this is exactly how homophobes, bigots, and religious zealots think ALL gays are.

It is impossible for them to realize that most gay men are just as masculine and as "straight acring" as they are.

A sore point with me has always been those gay men who enjoy conforming to every quirky gay stereotype under the sun, not caring that all they are doing is further fanning the flames of the fires of hatred from homophobes.

Again, we should ALL be proud of WHO and WHAT we are......BUT, also, behave as mature, dignified, masculine men, free from any and all embarrassing stereotypical "gay" behavior.

I will admit right here and now that I've never developed a thick enough skin not to feel the burning, demeaning sting of terms like "faggot" and "queer".

In closing, I do apologize if I "rambled", but this aspect of being gay in a largely straight world has always been a tremendous, ongoing challenge for me.

NOTHING will ever strip me of my manhood, nor my dignity, nor my pride.

Whatever I do in life is a reflection on MYSELF, which is why acting with maturity and dignity is so very important to me.........

 

When people think of gay people, the... more flamboyant gay person is the one that always comes to mind. I can remember being quite shocked to meet a gay man who didn't act like the other gay men I knew, seen, or even had sex with. The perception is that all gay men are feminine and submissive bottoms who suck cock and live to be fucked in the ass and while that's true for some of them, it's not true for all of them.

But we tend to not think about that a whole lot. Growing up, this is the misconception we were taught to be afraid of. A friend and "lover" was one of the girls by his own admission; my boyfriend was also one of the girls, both very effeminate but my boyfriend was... less demonstrative in public. So, hmm. gay men really come in two flavors and not just one! Interesting! The common denominator for me was both types of gay men were nice to have sex with, well, most of them were. If nothing else, learning and experiencing this helped me to understand that no matter what, I had to be true to both who and what I was.

 

KD23:

EXCELLENT response; as always, your experiences, clear views and astute observations are always right on the mark......

 

The thing is if you're asked to arrange a straight pride parade it would look a lot like...a bunch of people just walking. And if you were asked to arrange a gay pride parade of average gay/LGBT people, it would look much the same. In other words it would not be very noticeable.
Then again the butch dykes, twinks and whatever other stereotypical queer folks out there have every right to be whoever they are as much as the accountant who has quietly lived with his husband for years. If homophobes didn't get pissed off by the theatrics of drag queens and men in chaps we wouldn't need pride parades, would we? We need such displays to normalize the idea it's OK for a boy to color his nails as much as it is for two dudes to walk down the street holding hands. Fuck the homophobes and how much they get pissed off.

 

We all know that bigotry and ignorance go hand-and-hand.

What is of great important to us is to always hold our heads high and remember that, for many, "ignorance is bliss".........sadly, the ignorant are often too narrow-minded to realize just how ignorant they really are........

 

True and it seems there's a concerted effort to keep people ignorant. Rather sinister, and unnecessary.

 

Ignorance, bigotry, and hatred (of ANY sort) are like contagious diseases without a cure.....and, I fear it will always be so, until the end of time........

 

A long-established belief of mine.....

".....if you have no self-respect, how, then can you realistically expect others to respect you?"

Also, I also believe that we should see ourselves as others do...........

 

KD23:

One of your best responses; I am in total agreement, here.

As you and I both know, stereotypes of ANY kind are not only destructive, but, also, living monuments to insensitive ignorance..........

 

papa:

As always, greatly appreciate your in-depth responses; always totally honest and insightful.

You seem to have a VERY positive attidue regarding your sexuality; keep on keepin' on, my friend, and live your life forYOU...you certainly are most deserving!

Again, thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts and views with us here!

 

I am sure you have all heard that the Pride Flag at the historic Stonewall monument has been removed by order of a Trump directive.

To say this individual is indeed a bigot, a homophobe, and a racist is indeed an understatement.

Why the hell can't he simply mind his own business, and "live and let live"?

I, personally, fear things are going to get even uglier, in the near-term............

 

That is just fucking ironic. Then again so is a narcissistic manchild like T---- being a supposed president.
Like I said in another thread, we gotta watch out. It starts with small stuff. Right now Clarence Thomas is rumbling about marriage equality. What is next?
Midterm elections can't come soon enough. I hope Americans won't be so fucking stupid this time.
(Sorry for the insult and of course I don't mean all Americans. I'm frustrated, angry and disgusted.)