When did your "desires" begin to shift more towards males?

Probably "a lot of guys" who believe in full and total disclosure. During the "dating phase," that's when a slew of questions get asked and answered and some of them get... personal. A bi guy who may or may not have taken the plunge may or may not consider telling his intended that he dreams of big, thick, hard cocks and all the things one can do with them. He may or may not tell her that when he was a teenager, him and his best friend used to go to their fort down by the river and suck and fuck each other silly and because it was easier than trying to get into a girl's panties. And he may or may not tell her everything because he, like so many other men, has heard about how women lose their shit when they find out that the man they love, um, loves cock as much (or more) as she does.

Maybe he knows that he can talk to her about such things and... maybe he's learned that it's better he keeps quiet about his thoughts, feelings, and/or past actions in this. As a lot of both men and women find out at this point in the relationship, this lie of omission could come back to bite them in the crotch "down the road apiece." Or it might not.

I found that if I told girls that I was bi and liked to have sex with guys, too, I could easily find out if she was someone I wanted anything to do with. I've had that "I don't know why you have to do that!" conversation too many times in my life and I don't remember how many times I've said, "If and when I want to suck a dick, you don't have one." and then, seeing a huge disconnect because the logic of the matter goes right over their head or they go, "Yeah, but..." followed by their objections and how they believe that men aren't supposed to do this and shouldn't need to do it and... what part of you don't have a dick didn't you hear, honey?

Unless the woman you're about to marry does have one. That's when the logic falls apart, right?

Do I wonder about these guys? Not so much these days but since I keep my ear to the ground I can know that things are slowly changing and being more acceptable in relationships but on the whole, if you were thinking about having sex with a guy or you already have a history of it, it's a huge decision to tell your bride-to-be about it before you tie the knot or plead the 5th and remain silent since there is a chance that if you told her, you might not be marrying her.

Welcome to "damned if you do, damned if you don't" territory. Look, we know that it's apparently 100% normal for a heterosexual man to "wake up one morning" and decide that today's a good day to suck a dick. "Whoa - where the fuck did that come from and why is it exciting me? I'm not gay!" but that's okay because you don't have to be gay to want to enjoy sex with a man. So, having said this, if "Carl" finds his desires moving in that direction, it may fuck with his head... or it might not. If he has a girlfriend or fiancée, he may or may not mention that "Baby, I had the strangest dream last night!" because he may or may not know how she'd react to him dreaming about sucking cock, being fucked, or even fucking a guy in the ass.

This, by the way, isn't just a problem that guys in a relationship have - single guys can have this problem and more so when they're on the prowl for women who'll open their legs for them but if they don't, there's an app or three or four with hundreds of local guys who are ready to drop those drawers and with few questions asked. Because HIV I and II are still out there - but now treatable to become undetectable - a woman is going to want to know his sexual history before she gives up da booty to him and... do you really think or believe that he's going to tell her that he sucks cock or otherwise has sex with men? He probably already knows, via some means, that if he mentions it, he will not be getting into her panties, and he'll probably never see her again in life.

Or he might if she's one of those rare women who are totally okay with a bisexual man and, I've thought, because they're bisexual, had that "college experience" with a roommate or woke up the other day and thought that today's a good day to eat some pussy. And there's a reason why women won't tell men that they also like pussy. Even in 2026 and despite the ebb and flow of STDs/STIs over the decades, a person's sexuality is really no one's business and, yeah, "don't ask/don't tell" has been around a for a damned long time before it became a policy change in the US military. Even in 2026, everyone is on a need-to-know basis and if a guy think she needs to know about his thoughts, feelings, past, whatever, if he tells her, it might be okay - as long as he's not doing it now and promises not to do it for as long as they're together - or... she's going to be someone else's woman by next weekend.

Or calling a lawyer to arrange a bankrupting divorce to find that she married a homosexual... because in 2026, bisexuals still don't "make sense" to a lot of people - and people who, in this century, you'd think would be more enlightened. Is it worth ruining a relationship/marriage to tell her something that, historically, woman have not had a sense of humor about?

 

KD23:

One of your most OUTSTANDING and "in depth" responses so far; THANK YOU for taking the time to share still more fascinating insight.....your comments indeed add a great deal of depth(and truth) to ANY discussion!

"Damned if you do, damned if you don't".....seems to me, that, in such a situation, you literally are caight between "a rock and a hard place" (NO pun intended!)

If the bisexual guy tells his fiancee that he is a bi and into guys, and she DOES NOT react favorably to this disclosure, well, at the VERY least, the guy found out in time BEFORE the knot was tied.................

 

Then, too, the old refrain:

"Honesty us the best policy".

Something is telling me, that, despite the desire to be "honest and open", there ARE indeed times when "honesty"may NOT be the best policy...........

 

When they say that the truth will set you free, it really can and in the form of your relationship being thrown into the dumpster because you told the truth. It can see your friendships get utterly destroyed; it can have your family turn their backs on you but in this? If you don't tell the truth the same shit can happen once the truth is revealed.

Yeah, when you feel your desires shifting to "the middle of things," this is something that becomes very damned important. Even if it only lives in your head as a thought do you tell someone about it? Or do you silently hang onto it and it's a nice thought when you're beating your meat? Do you dismiss it because you "know" there's no way in hell that you'd really want to suck cock with a guy? Blaming it on the alcohol?

Do you tell yourself the truth?

 

KD23:

Good points, all.

"Do you tell yourself the truth?"

I'm willing to wager, in all honesty, that far too many guys DO NOT tell themselves the truth, preferring to "live a lie",or, enter into a prolonged "self denial" phase, which, IMHO, can become quite destructive, the longer it is allowed to send out deeper roots.........

 

If you can't be honest with yourself, how can you be honest to someone else? I learned from a lot of guys that the longer you try to suppress and subsume these feelings, the worse it is because it just... eats at you. Whispers in your ear. You're watching a woman sucking your dick and imagining that it's a guy doing it. Fucking her and find yourself imagining you're reaming out a guy's tight bung hole. You're at work and one of your male co-workers approaches you to ask you a question and you're not only stripping him naked with your eyes, but you're also seriously wondering how big his cock is and how it would taste and feel in your mouth... and you feel a strange tingle in your butt hole thinking about his prick opening your hole up nice and wide and dumping a load of hot cum into you.

Everywhere you go you're checking guys out and you realize that you're now looking at men differently and you dip yourself into the vat of denial when you see this one guy and... you want him. Your cock is getting hard. But you shake it off and keep denying that what you're feeling and what you've been thinking just can't be real... because you're not gay. You love women and you've loved pussy ever since you first got it when you were 17.

 

I had a gay dude tell me that if wasn't for the fact that my dick had been in pussy, he'd take me to bed and prove that he's a better cocksucker than any woman. I've had them reject me because I'm married to a woman and if they didn't reject me, they loved having sex with me and strongly insisted that not only leave my wife and family but swear that I'll never have sex with a woman again and be gay like they are. I've had them bitch me out for being bi and I've said to them, "You didn't seem to mind that I was bi when my dick was buried in your throat/ass, did you?

 

To my way of thinking, if a gay/bi guys is really "hot to trot" for a rock-hard, throbbing dick, it would seem to me that he would care LESS as to where it's BEEN, and more fixated on where it's about to GO!

 

Shit, you'd better care about where it's been! HIV I and II are still very real; so is gonorrhea, chlamydia, and even syphilis. Hot to trot doesn't mean stupid, does it? If you don't look before leaping you have no idea what you're jumping into, right? Doesn't make sense to do that, does it? If not, why would you do that with this? PrEP only works with HIV; it doesn't do squat for the other three although I'm amazed no one has figured out a "PrEP" for these bad boys.

 

KD23:

You misunderstood me; what I meant was that, if a guy is REALLY HOT for cock, he should NOT care if that cock has been inside a WOMAN or a MAN.

Risking STDs of ANY kind, no matter HOW horny you are, is simply sheer STUPIDITY.

Sorry if you misunderstood me.............

 

Further:

If a gay/bisexual guy cannot be 100% sure as to whether or not his next (male) sexual partner is 100% STD free, I think he would be much better off (as well as wiser) to "pass".

Heck, if worse comes to worse, simply jack off and bust a nut, wait for the next time, and at least know that you eliminated the possibility of contracting an STD.

NO sexual encounter, no matter how "hot and heavy"ot might ve, is worth possible exposure to an STD, but, then again (sadly), sometimes common sense goes by the wayside, if a guy is horny enough,and his balls are blue enough..........

 

I maintain that it does make a difference if you're pulling the disease card out but, okay, it shouldn't make a difference, but I'll point out [again] that I've been rejected by gay men because of being married to a woman who I'm obviously fucking (with great glee and gusto). I don't know what bisexual dude - or married bisexual dude - pissed off some gay man way back in time but that asshat didn't do modern bi guys any favors. I've argued with gay dudes about why it makes a difference as long as I'm clean, healthy, and ready to give him my dick to play with and if they don't say that they'd never have sex with a man whose cock has been in pussy, I got to listen to the tired old bullshit about not being able to commit, confused, in denial, greedy, serial cheater, so on and so forth.

Okay, fine. We could have had a lot of fun together but if you want to be that way about it, it was nice talking to you. This used to piss me off, but I realized that being dissed by a gay man because I'm bi - and all that it implies - isn't that big of a deal because there are more men out there in the world who'd readily want to get together so we can play with each other's cock. The last time a gay dude dissed me like this, the very next guy who hit me up was not only but I think he broke some traffic laws getting to my home so we could spend time sucking each other off.

When I had asked him if it made a difference that (a) I was married and (b) I was fucking two women in my home he said, "Cock is cock - I'll be there in five minutes!"

I think he got there in four. Spent about two hours talking and sucking each other off. Really nice guy, too. See, I understand a guy's right to be picky and all that, but what remains true is that the pickier you are, the harder it is to find a guy you want to give yourself to for sex. Yes, there are way more fish in this particular sea but there's a reason they call it fishing and not catching, right? Also true: If you're horny enough and your balls are starting to ache, any old port in a storm will work; it's not about lowering standards but, I've felt, setting minimum standards so that if and when you can't find a guy to meet your maximum standards, you can still get some cock.

Some gay men have a serious hate-on for bi guys; some think that since we're not really gay, we're not good enough to sleep with them and I don't know about anyone else, but I don't have time for this kind of dumb shit. You have a cock I want to suck; either you want it sucked or you don't and if you don't, say so, say why - so I can add your excuse to the others I've heard over the decades - and I'll go find someone who isn't so bougie or picky about getting cock to play with. It's your right and I acknowledge and respect that, but I have the right to point out how silly that is when all I want to do is have sex with you.

 

"Cock is cock"............

I could NOT have said it better, KD23!

Again, your response is concise, in-depth, and spot-on; you simply "tell it like it is", NO bullshit; your many years of M2M experiences, with gay and bi men, certainly gave you a very broad "playing field", if you will, in listening to the opinions, likes, dislikes, turn-ons, and, of course, insecure hangups of other like-minded men.

I've certainly read of gay men who think of servicing a "straight, married guy" as a personal "conquest"; to my way of thinking, like yoyrs, "cock is cock", and that is all that matters in the ling run, at least from where I stand...........

 

The conquest of a straight married male seems to be a thing that I'm not sure I really understand. The gay men who kicked me to the curb was excited to learn that I'm a married male and not so much when I told them that I was bisexual. Wait... do you mean to tell me that you just spent the last twenty minutes telling me how much you want my Black cock in your mouth and ass but now that you know that I'm bi, you're no longer interested?

If that doesn't sound like some bullshit, I don't know what does. Before we even got to the particulars your message was "talking shit" about how good you can suck cock and you're better than any woman - and your asshole feels better than any puss but then you find out that I'm a married, versatile cock-sucking bi guy and... you're getting pissy with me? Talking about you don't need any drama when, in my experiences, I've had to deal with more drama from gay men than bi men. I don't know what bi guy fucked you over but I'm not him but since you don't want to have sex, just go away. You want and demand that I respect your preferences, but you don't seem to give a fuck about mine and, oh, wait, that's right: I don't have any fucking preferences that are going to keep me from getting some dick.

Go fuck yourself. Preferably with a long-handled broom studded with razor blades and no grease.

 

...if a non-sexual "hang-up" is often based on the unfounded, rest assured it can be even more so, if sexual in nature.............

 

KD23:

Again, agreed 100%

 

You haven't lived until you get cussed out by a gay man because you don't want to be in a relationship with him.

 

KD23:

This would not surprise me in the least; some guys want a "relationship"as well as the sex (OK, cool, IF the other party desires likewise)

Other guys only want the SEX, and nothing more, and are satisfied with that.

Guess it all depends on the individual................