When did your "desires" begin to shift more towards males?

RisingBi:

EXCELLENT responses and "commentaries", my friend!

Thanks for sharing some great experiences and views with us here........

 

Think now of a two-way street;you are NOT supposed to cross that line running down the center....."STAY ON YOUR SIDE OF THE ROAD ONLY.....AND HEAD IN ONE DIRECTION ONLY!"

Of course, such "rules of the road" does NOT apply to expressing one's sexuality.....go ahead, feel free to see what's on the OPPOSITE side of the road, as well!

(Note: "GPS" NOT required!)

 

When a guy starts feeling his desires shifting and, by chance, he's talking to me about it, one of the things I will tell him is to forget all that bullshit about picking a side and staying on it and other anti-homosexual rhetoric; I will also tell him that, yes, if you've heard the horror stories with guys trying the sex and it went horribly wrong, well, yeah, they're real - but do not assume or presume that it'll happen to you because many a guy has done something with a guy without any horror stories being born. Do not buy into the bullshit that says that if you suck a guy's dick (a) that means you're really gay or (b) you are gay but in denial. You do not have to be attracted to men like you can be attracted to women.

When they've asked me how do I know, well, I know because I've been bisexual for a damned long time and got started early enough to find out about all the bullshit and the social lies we get told so that I could find the truth and the one truth that they do not want us guys to know is that it's perfectly normal for us to have sex with each other... but religion put a stop to it and vilified it so that a man's focus would be on... making babies. A worthy task and goal way back then and where life expectancy and infant mortality rates were abysmal but that was then, this is now and it's stupid for religion to continue to vilify homosexuality/homosexual sex when an untold number of people are up to their eyeballs enjoying being able to have sex both ways.

I know I enjoy the fuck out of it. This is about the time when some would say, "But you don't look like the type!" and my response would be, "What does the type look like?" But I would learn what "the type" meant - and it meant effeminately homosexual - so, no, I sure as fuck do not look like the type and, by the way, I love pussy just as much as you do... but getting some dick isn't as bad as you've been told, thought, or believed it to be. Now, are there things to be aware of if you decide to take the plunge? Of course, there are and we'll talk about them later but, right now, tell me what's been going on in your mind about this - and if you have questions, ask them and I will answer honestly, openly, and without any sugar coating.

Talking to some guys about this has been not unlike a therapy session for them and beginning with letting them know that they're aren't crazy and that what they're thinking and dreaming about is, believe it or not, normal - you're not the only one who has had this land on them so you were never alone in this.

 

KD23:

Again, an excellent, thorough, and "Dude, I'm giving you the lowdown here, no bullshit" response!

One of the things I truly believe is that, once a bisexual guy (especially if he's married) starts to explore his long-hidden desires for M2M sex, and, begins to meet other like-minded guys, I think (in many cases) he's pretty much surprised as to just how many other guys "are just like him", taking away at least some of the "alienation" he had felt previously.

To deny one's true sexual orientation, I feel, is truly is letting the "bad guys win".

Screw all the outmoded, baseless old stereotypes, the narrow-mindedness of those less enlightned and tolerant, and just live YOUR life the way YOU want to.......and, there ya go!

 

.........interesting, also, to think of how many males simply accept their bisexuality at an early age, and those who dismiss those M2M desires and urges as "too queer", and bury them deep within their souls, until, one day, some sort of "awakening" takes place, and, now, these long-buried desires are struggling to make themselves known............and ACKNOWLEDGED............

 

.........I guess it would also be safe to say that a bi-curious guy, one who is really feeling the need to "get it on" with another guy, would be smart (IMHO) simply to follow his instincts, take it slow and easy, use common sense, and let those long-denied urges rise to the surface...........

 

I have believed that those who dismiss the urges as being too queer are the ones who really get shocked to find that those urges are quite real and... they now need to act upon them. It's so easy to convince yourself that, nah, I'm not really queer and, besides, a lot of guys who aren't gay suck cock, fuck, get fucked, so on and so forth so... why not me? And why did I wait so long?

I have believed that guys who became bisexual at an early age have an easier time coping and adjusting to bisexuality because they haven't been fully indoctrinated to the religious and social norms. They know about them but one day, they were in "Randy's" treehouse when "Tommy" says, "I'll show you mine if you show me yours..." and from there, dicks get sucked and wow, this is supposed to be bad, but it felt really good! They say that this is gay but neither guy is feeling gay... and whatever that really means. The only thing they have to worry about is getting caught in the act and ratted out where adult males - and by the time the shift happens - find that they stand to lose a great deal if it was discovered that they were having sex with men (and usually on the side).

A lot of guys - young and older - easily accept the shift or they find that they grudgingly accept it due to a lack of sex... and it becomes easy to justify having sex with another guy.

 

KD23:

Yet another OUTSTANDING "tell it like it is" response....RIGHT ON, man!

 

Well, yeah, you'd think that this is usually the time where you find out if you can really trust your instincts and with something that you kinda/sorta don't really know anything about outside of what you may have seen or heard. But I wouldn't say, with a high degree of certainty, that it's safe to assume that a bi-curious guy will instinctively know to follow his instincts. I mean, they'll eventually figure that out and somewhat quickly but methinks a lot of guys are overly influenced by social bullshit surrounding male bisexuality.

 

papa:

EXCELLENT "thesis"; thank you for taking the time to share your always-welcome and insightful opinions and views.............

 

Years ago, when I was still working in lower Manhattan, I heard MORE than my share of off-color jokes (mostly based on sexual orientation and race; none of which I found amusing) one "joke" referred to a bisexual man as: 'A queer whose closet has a revolving door".

NOT amusing.

There s another where a "bisexual gentleman" was described as:

".....a guy that dates a woman five times before he fucks her brother......"

Sad when sheer stupidity and ignorance passes for "humor"...........

 

"Was that supposed to be funny? I've fucked a girl and then fucked her brother... or I fucked him first. So, what? How many times have you gotten laid today, hmm? You're just pissed because I can do something you're not man enough to do; as far as the joke goes, don't give up your day job... if you even have a day job."

I wonder what closet they were talking about since most bisexuals do not live or exist in a closet. See, this is where their ignorance gets exposed because they don't know the difference between a gay man and a bisexual one but if they need to be informed, they can read what I wrote, above.

But for that revolving door 'joke'? I'd tell the guy, "You didn't say that last night..." just to see the look on his face and anyone else he thought he was trying to impress with his stupidity.

 

KD23:

How so many of the jackoffs I knew could find such "jokes" funny is totally beyond me; I simply thought they were stupid, insensitive, asinine, or all three.

Too bad you didn't work where I did; I would have loved to have seen you put these jerks in thier place, and maybe "educate" them as well!

I'm will to wager you'd shut a lot of them up pretty damn quick, without even breaking a sweat!

 

It never ceases to amaze me that, in this "enlightened" third decade of the 21st century, how blatantly and blissfully ignorant far too many otherwise "educated" individuals are, regarding just what what bisexuality is all about.

Sad to say, the long-redundant stigmas and stereotypes are still ever-pervading today........you WOULD think that, by now, we'd have learned SOMETHING about curbing rampant ignorance.......

 

Here's one of the things I've learned: To every generation, bisexuality is a new unknown. Someone pointed this out to me several years ago and I felt some kind of way because (1) I didn't know this and (2) it never occurred to me as an explanation as to why people were acting so weird about something that is probably as old as humanity - and why the same old stereotypes and other bullshit continues to exist in the face of [now] 21st century enlightenment. I can go read how my parents' generation dealt with sexuality; I know how my generation dealt with it; I know how my children's generation dealt with it and I've been told that my grandchildren's generation is pretty much "What's the big deal about it?". So, bisexuality becomes more widespread across the generations but the same old bullshit follows and remains pervasive because we do not teach a damned thing about sexuality and prefer to default to the biblical admonishments and resulting cultural and moral angst.

True homophobia is taught from one generation to the next. Biphobia is a "new" social construct to raise angst toward bisexuals who had replaced homosexuals as Public Enemy #1 (and transgenders have replaced bisexuals in this role) but, again, the same old bullshit is very much alive and well... because we, again, do not teach that bi- and homosexuality are normal for us but heterosexuality may not be, according to some 'experts'. Then you have... personal opinion that often doesn't reflect exactly what bisexuality is, i.e., the definition I learned doesn't even resemble the various definitions out there in the social megasphere - then go read the post about what your definition of bi is and you'll see what I'm talking about.

Misinformation is just as bad as the outright lies about sexuality that continue to be told.

 

KD23:

Excellent "commentary", and one that "hits the nail on the head" on all levels.

TOTALLY agree;"misinformation" is as bad as the lies that , sadly, all too often, deal with both bisexuality and homosexuality, and accepted as truth by those either too gullible or too ignorance to accept fact as truth.

I saud this long ago; with too many people, the truth scares the hell out of them to the degree that they put up walls to protect themselves from it................

 

Papa:

TOTALLY AGREE with you, my friend.

Some of these "jokesters" MIGHT indeed just have a few hidden "desires" in their closet (along with a few skeletons), and, by "pointing the finger" at someone else could be a way of taking the heat off themselves, and have others "point their finger" at someone other than himself, thus "taking the heat" away from themselves, and putting them above suspect................

 

The guy who protests too much just might be hiding something. Knew a lot of guys who sounded like dyed-in-the-wool homophobes in public were good in bed privately. Sucked cock and took boners in the ass like a seasoned pro and, the next day, bashing gays again.