Seeking advice about post nut clarity after first gay sex (NSFW)

Hey guys, I know I'm gonna have sex with a guy. It's a question of when, not if. It's been on my mind for so long I know I'm gonna go for it, and I know I'll be glad I did. However, I don't know how I will deal with it afterwards.

I'm open to any advice, suggestions, insight, etc. from anyone and would especially like to hear from those who came from rather heteronormative backgrounds and took the plunge to try your first homosexual experience.

When I first started to be curious about the same sex in my early 20s, the post nut clarity was brutal! I was sure I fooled or deluded myself into thinking I was bi, and such feelings would never come back to me again. I felt so guilty and ashamed for having these feelings. Over time the guilt and shame have at least been bearable and the refraction time is now minutes not months. And post nut clarity is more a profound feeling of loneliness than questioning what I ever saw in guys, though I do get some of that from time to time.

My concern is how will I deal with my post nut clarity after my first gay sex? What if I feel the same level of guilt and shame I felt after I first dared just to fantasize about being with a guy? Or am I more likely not to experience post nut clarity since I'd be with someone and instead I'd be driven to wanna be close to that person for awhile? (Which I don't think would be such a bad outcome!)

I imagine some people will say any negative feelings will go away the more times I do it. I imagine some people will say if I've come so far to accept my feelings and I've waited so long to be with a guy, any negative feelings will far be outweighed by positive feelings and I won't have anything bad to deal with. I also imagine some people will ask me to consider the first guy I sleep with, and make sure he's aware where I'm coming from and he can handle my situation.

Don't know if this is important, but I'm 53 and single.

My heartfelt thanks in advance to anyone who has anything to offer!

 

Well im 53 and single too.I have had alot of good times and bad times with men.The sex was great till i came and yea i ran or wanted too.Then i found a friend who i liked for things other than the sex we had.He was a guy who didnt want to be a b/f just have sex with alot of guy's.Right now after the knowing how the sex felt,i would go on a date with a guy make out with him see how it goes in your gut.Let me know if im off or out of line,i didnt mean to be.Just try the date and go slow.

 

Thanks for taking the time to reply. Not out of line at all. Sounds like a reasonable way to try.