When did your "desires" begin to shift more towards males?

KD23:

I think that is a SOLID piece of advice:

"......try everything....and try to keep an open mind......"

This advice, I feel, speaks many volumes (and also reaps many benefits) in the long run.........

 

When you feel your desires shifting toward the middle, it's on you to make the best of it and whether you do anything about it or not. Many men, single, married, otherwise in a relationship, have felt these desires; they've questioned them and have questioned themselves; many have given in to the siren call of cock, and many have not (but wish they had).

 

KD23:

From the personal accounts I've read here, over the past several years, the "CTC"("Call To Cock") syndome, if you will, is indeed a POWERFUL force; I know that, especially for "first timers", that "CTC" can become all-consuming......and it's easy to see why..............

 

Those who feel the desires get that first understanding of just how powerful it can be. The more you try to ignore it, the stronger it gets until, in some men, it gets so overwhelmingly powerful that something has to be done; guys who are still getting pussy find that the pussy is still good... just not what's really ringing their bell and I've known some guys to think of having sex with a guy while having sex with a woman. Guys who take the plunge may think that once they do something - usually cocksucking - the desires and urges to do something with a guy will go away...

...and they'd be wrong about that and find that once they suck cock, it's like Lay's potato chips. Guys who were once squeamish about their asshole find that once it's been stretched out by a dick and he gets pumped full of cum, every chance to bottom for a guy is taken because if you've never had an orgasm after having your prostate stimulated, well, maybe you should. I have suggested to guys with the new desire to not take my word for it, not that I'd tell them something wrong. Figure it out then do it and find the pleasure in being sexually intimate with a man.

 

KD23:

Another excellent response.

From what I've heard here from other guys (and elsewhere online) a lot of guys getting fucked have said thay had never experienced an orgasm so mind-blowing, often cumming without toucing themselves.

I know that a big, hard cock, hammering your prostate is spot-on for one BIG nut-bustin' orgasm, for sure (and if the other guy is jerking you off while he's pounding the hell out of your butt....(!!)

I've heard "tops" say that the sensations of a guy's ass muscles working over your pistoning dick is beyond incredible.......I certainly believe it!

 

........and, sure as hell, after the "novice" to M/M sex experiences his first highly-intense "session" with another guy, I'll bet that "no-longer-novice" is thinking:

"Why the hell did I wait so goddamn long? Damn, I didn't think it was going to be THIS fucking hot!"

And, then, a totally new and exciting voyage into an entirely new world of sex begins.............

 

Most guys that I've been involved with giving them that first experience - and once their desires reached a peak and they "had to do something about it" have started with the time-honored blowjob. A few guys wanted to go right to fucking or being fucked and I've been like, "Whoa, stud, we can do that but first, there's some stuff you need to know and abide by without exception..." and beginning with letting them know that yes, it hurts going in. The good or bad part is that there's only one way to prove that assertion and I've seen most of those guys decide that, um, sucking dick is a more comfortable option.

I've had guys get an instant case of ED trying to get it in me and when they stop trying to, they're back to being rock hard; I've had guys bust a nut either before they could get it in or the moment they got it in; with them on the receiving end, yeah, I told you that it was going to hurt going in and despite all the things I'd do to lessen the discomfort but even I learned that it's hard to relax and breathe when it feels like someone is shoving a redwood tree into your ass. And some guys took it in the ass for their first time and like they were old pros at it.

And not all that unlike the first-time cocksuckers who've had me thinking that they lied to me when they said they never did this before... but they could teach a master class in the art of fellatio. This is usually the part of the program where I'll tell a guy to not pay a whole lot of attention to porn even though they can see the many ways two (or more) guys can have sex - because the reality of it might be so very different. I think that it helps to keep a potential first-time grounded in reality and after providing them with information so they can make an informed decision.

And letting them know that if we do this, it's going to change their life. Forever. I'm not joking or kidding about that but if we do this, well, you'll find out and just like I did...

 

I don't know about anyone else but if I had a dollar for every time I've heard a guy say this, I'd be fairly well-off. There's some stuff that goes on here - the perception, the uncertainty, and the reality. Many, many guys go into this with the perception that this has to be a fun and good thing to do since, duh, there are a lot of men - mostly gay - who are deep into it. Ah, but then there's moment of uncertainty or what I've called "the moment of absolute truth" where the guy in question is either about to get sucked off or has my dick - or some other guy's dick - right there in their face and now wanting to get sucked or to do the sucking just got real.

If they chose to proceed - and if I had a dollar for every guy who "chickened out" - that's when they ask why it took them so long to do it or it wasn't as bad as they heard and/or thought it would be or asking what they were afraid of. One of those moments that has always had me scratching my head was agreeing to his terms about sucking my dick, i.e., don't cum in his mouth. Not to worry - I will warn you that I'm going to cum so you can stop... except they don't stop. They let me know that they heard me and keep right on sucking harder and faster and, shit, I'm gonna cum - and I say it loudly - and... whew, holy shit.

And they've not only sucked cock and had cum in their mouth, but they swallowed it... after they said that they didn't want to do that because they were sure they weren't going to like it. And, yes, so goddamned hot. Sucking a guy off and hearing the same things including, "Has anyone ever told you that you suck cock better than a woman?" and, yes, I've been told that (and if I had a dollar...).

The reality involved can be a motherfucker because it shatters everything they believed about sex and especially the part where it's said that men having sex with each other is evil. Oh, and if you have sex with a man, that means you're really gay. Some guys are able to accept the reality they've now been exposed to and some guys, well, uh, it takes some time before acceptance sets in.

 

KD23:

Excellent "commentary"; again, one that not only speaks many volumes, but also, realistically, honestly, "tells it all like it really is", with no bullshit involved.

In your many years of "experience" it is clear that you are more than qualified to "give the lowdown" on this subject; as you have indeed had many, many awesome M2M experiences over the decades, plus, looking at the situations involved with a clear, level head, as well as a mature outlook, you can easily "give the pitch" to virtually any and all "novices", and, in most cases, have more than proven yourself as an outstanding "pitchman".........

 

KD23:

I often wonder what might transpire if a bi married male is having sex with his best buddy, and, though he's frequently at their house (watching a game, just hanging, etc.) the wife is totally clueless as to the fact that her hubby and his buddy are having sex, just assuming they are "best buds" and nothing more.

So, if wife is out if town, or, away for the day, and her husband and his pal are "hanging out", it would seem that just might make for an ideal situation (for the husband).........UNLESS the wife ends up coming home early unexpectedly, and finds her husband and his buddy "going at it" hot and heavy.

What kind of wife is she?

How does she react?

Does she take it all in stride, despite the surprise?

Or, does she totally freak out, and a major meltdown follows, with much carnage?

It really could go either way, but, IMHO, it could all get pretty damn ugly.......................

 

Depending on the woman, her beliefs, even what she knows that he isn't aware that she knows, yes - this could go from major "hell hath no fury" meltdown to "I knew you two were doing it all along." In this, we always assume that the worst is going to happen and it's a guarantee and that's because, oh, maybe eight out of ten times, she's going to go ballistic and, as I've been saying, the horror stories about this are real but to the guy feeling himself shifting, I'd tell him to be aware of this but to not assume that the worst case is going to happen should he slip up and she finds out - and telling them this gives them the incentive to not slip up.

And that's provided that he winds up doing what a whole lot of guys do: Go hunting for cock on the DL. I also tell them to not act like the wife has no idea what he's doing - that would be a mistake. Like they say, "Just because they don't say nothing don't mean they don't know nothing..."

 

KD23:

In ANY situation, I think it is simply human nature to expect the worst.

Indeed, a "hot button" scenario such as we've been discussing CAN end up in a MAJOR-LEAGUE "all hell breaking forth on earth" meltdown.

Then again, it COULD go just the opposite; as you said :"I knew you two guys were going at it for years now."

As you correctly stated, it all depends on the wife's belief's, her general "life philosophy", etc., that is what TRULY will make....or break.....said scenario.

Literally, the ball is in HER court......with HER calling the shots............

 

"Never let your guard down"............

IMHO, I believe that this is a valid (and valuable) piece of advice to ANY bi married male, whose spouse is still unaware of his true sexuality, especially if he is actively engaging in relations with other men.........

 

As far as individual rights are concerned, no - the ball is not in her court, and she does not have the right to tell him that he cannot be the person he needs to be and even if part of that involves being bisexual. She can say something about what he might do about his newfound sexuality and even then, he doesn't have to abide by her pitching a royal bitch about discovering that he's no longer as straight as he was when they got married. If she can refuse him sex and despite the fact that when you're married, you and your partner are supposed to be each other's sole source for sex, then at the risk of winding up divorced, he can go do what he needs to do.

The social shit fucks a lot of this up and a lot of guys aren't of a mind to give her reason to haul his ass into divorce court so even though he's feeling this pull toward sex with men, they're not going to do anything about it... and usually to their eventual detriment. But as a reminder, this shift isn't just about guys in a relationship - single guys have some stuff they have to be mindful of as well; married or not, this "end of the world" shit isn't to be considered initially because finding out that you're not feeling as straight as you believe yourself to be is a bigger issue.

It would be like you waking up one morning and... you want some pussy. You've dreamt about it, maybe even fantasized and masturbated about it and now you're trying to figure out how and why a gay man like yourself suddenly wants sexual congress with a woman. Would you be able to parse this without thinking that something's wrong with you? All that social bullshit that you might encounter won't mean a damned thing until or unless you can make sense out of how the fuck can you have been gay all of your life and now you want some pussy.

 

KD23:

None of us, gay, bi, or straight, entirely "go by the book", regarding our preferances, and what "spur of the moment" fantasy suddenly rears its head, leaving you with a desire for something you had not desired previously.

Do you pass it over as a "fluke", or seek a "real time" encounter?

Every one of us totally different, and what one man may suddenly fantasize about (not to his usual way of thinking) another might not have the slightest desire for.

Again, it's all about living your own life, going for what turns you on, and not having to answer to anyone what you ARE and what you are NOT.

It all can get quite complex, indeed.

BTW:

Another excellent response from you.............

 

A closeted bi married male should imagine that he is equipped with a 24-hour security camera.......NEVER TURN IT OFF!

It could, indeed, one day, turn out to be one helluva lifsaver, regarding your "habits"being "monitored" by the wife,or anyone else for that matter, who does not know of your bisexuality.........

 

This is one of those things a guy should be mindful of but not to the point where it makes him paranoid and unable to act if he chooses to. Some guys are married to a woman who won't even let him go take a shit without wanting to know where he is and what he's doing and this is the woman guys should be very wary of... and guys married to this kind of woman probably already know not to try doing anything about their newly found sexual feelings.

As far as anyone else knowing, well... how the fuck would they know unless you told them? Or unless their next-door neighbor sees them coming out of (or going into) the local Motel 6 with another man in tow. Or if he were to get with one of his buddies and the guy tells everyone what they did. Otherwise, how would they know? The thing I tend to object to is that the moment you make a guy paranoid about a change in his sexual attractions - and a change that only he is aware of - he automatically gets stuck in the closet and becomes fearful of ever coming out of it in order to take action on his new feelings and if that's what he wants to do.

If he doesn't plan on doing anything, there's no need for him to be in the closet, is there? Since he's the only one who know how he's feeling, unless he says something to give himself away, there's no need to be fearful of family, friends, coworkers or that wife who won't let him go take a shit unsupervised by her...

 

KD23:

As always, common sense speaks many volumes through your comments and observations.

You are 100% correct; while ALWAYS being vigilant, and excercising discretion, the WORST thing is to allow yourself to become paranoid.

Paranoia, in itself, can be a powerful setback to a "closeted" bi married male just beginning his "voyage of discovery", into waters previously unchartered.......

 

Further:

"Paranoia", if allowed to dominate, strips you of both not only your mental and emotional well-being, but also, restrains you from BEING YOURSELF, and living YOUR life as YOU desire (and DESERVE)

If a bi married male allows paranoia to rule his life, it is a situation, one in which HE becomes slave to unfounded fears and, in short, that is, certainly, NO life at all.................

 

If any man does that. On the whole, this is a situation that can affect men regardless of marital status. You cannot, in all fairness, hook this yoke onto married bisexuals. Hell, your original question could be for lesbians who wake up one morning in a sweat because she was dreaming about sex with a man and she was loving it... and the feelings the dream gave her hasn't left her. And your question wasn't about what happened when desires began to shit more toward males; in effect, you put the cart full of dynamite before the horse.