Journal #71, January 1: New Year's Resolutions

First of all Happy New Year to all of you fellow pervs lol! I wish you a lot of love this year.

Each year my new year's resolution is to have sex with a guy and this year is no different, but maybe I can make things a bit clearer.

Really the resolution is not so much doing one specific task as it is to proceed in a state of being with other men. I've been on my gay slut journey for so long but so far it's been a solo journey. I desperately need other guys along with me, many other guys.

So I resolve to be open to a lot of experiences with different guys, and be open to learn about sexuality and myself. Anything that's legal, ethical and discreet and not too gross or weird is on the table.

And it turns out there is something in particular I want to experience among my sexual resolution. Maybe it's because I'm getting more mature overall. Maybe it's because I'm lonely. Maybe it's because I'm becoming more accepting of the homosexual side of my sexuality. I want to make love with a man, not just get off and have sex, but make hot, passionate love! I want us to be really into each other and kiss a lot, and have a sensual and intimate experience as well as an erotic one, where we let our guards down emotionally, really open up to each other, and develop a lifelong bond. I look forward to an experience we remember fondly for as long as we live...and hopefully not just one experience!

 

Happy New Year to you also.

Some food for thought. Not suggestions and not in anyway supposed to discourage you!

You've described yourself:-

'Solo journey' might allude to your being quite far along a road, though only in your head. It might mean that when you see the reality its nothing like that which you've imagined or the guy may not be like 'he' who you have imagined. Or you may go through with it but with the wrong guy who may physically hurt/damage your body.

In the second quote, the term which jumps out to me is, 'lonely'. Loneliness can take our minds to unusual places. Fantasies can be good but sometimes they can be far-fetched or unrealistic, which may mean you could be hurt if you follow them to their destination.

I hope that reads as 'food for thought'.

If you seek advice or are open to suggestion, I would suggest you embark on the journey without a set destination. Enjoy the journey itself, like prolonged foreplay and prolonged arousal. You may then arrive at the destination in good time

That's, whether the destination is just having a cock pumping in you or it's the having of the full sensual, intimate and passionate experience you mentioned.
I guess I could have written 'take your time' but that wouldn't have conveyed any of those thoughts or my hope that you get that, which you seek, without having big disappointment afterwards.

Hth

 

Thanks for the well thought out response! I kind of thought about that point and I'm glad you brought that out more. I'm still open to that specific kind of experience, but maybe I should keep in mind it's nice for its own sake and not necessarily meant to solve a problem.
I know there is so much I will learn and not all of it will be sexual.

 

I guess you may have some pent up emotion that needs released? Can you find a guy locally with whom you can do that? I'm hoping that may enable you to gather your thoughts about a way forward, once some of that pent up emotion has been brought out of you.

 

Well part of that is horniness to be honest. Some hot sex seems to be the cure for that.
The loneliness might require a different approach. Some local guy might help but I have a feeling it wouldn't be in bed.

 

Happy New Year to you, too! My question to you about your resolution is... do you think that you can fall in love with a guy so that the two of you can, classically, "make love?" I really do hope that this is a resolution that can cum - er, come - to fruition for you!

 

Not sure but at this point of my life I'm willing to let it happen. Either way I'm looking for a more sensuous homosexual experience, as well as other kinds. If not love it will probably require something more than a casual connection.