Masturbation secret...

I only use poppers when I’m gonna get very involved with myself because one, it greatly reduces any inhibitions and two, it intensifies my sexual gratification immensely! I fucking love it!

 

I will talk about masturbation wtih anyone friends, family, strangers

 

It's worth adding to my previous answer that being so closeted about my masturbation with anyone other than family and girlfriends until my 30s actually created a paradoxical effect, in which suppressing the desire to talk about it or be caught by friends and roommates so intensely to the point of overcorrection, it also made the desire so pressing it actually became all the more difficult to control. And it didn't take much for me to be REALLY FUCKING OPEN about it.

If my resolve was weakened even just a tiny little bit, maybe because of drugs, or something triggered an intense wave of horniness, or I just saw a hint of something indicating it might be OK to open up with this person or in this context, and I had a way to do it but play it off like a harmless joke or an accident if I had misread thing.... I would totally go out of my way to talk about it or be seen doing it.

I never did anything untoward. Thankfully, I was more or less good at reading those hints. But as a sustained state of existence, it was awful. I lived in a constant schizophrenic mindset for 10-15 years. Just burying the urge as far down as it could go, while sporadically dropping little hints to test someone's comfort level. Then just fuckin' openly masturbating in front of a friend or roommate, or telling a friend about my masturbation with the most uncensored intimate details, anytime a response to my hints proved promising. And not always, but also not rarely, feeling super fucking horrible about it later even though it was completely consensual and fine.

I hated it so much. A lot of things got me out of it. But there were definitely two that were the biggest game changers. First was moving back in with my parents for a couple years in my mid-30s and constantly catching them masturbating or seeing evidence of it and realizing, it's so fucking easy to tell when someone is doing that. I doubt there were many times I was doing it in my room or a bathroom and someone in my apartment didn't know. So, stop the charade. Because anyone who doesn't have a serious hang-up over it themselves that needs to be ironed out, nobody cares.

Second was starting to masturbate a lot, which I'd never really done. Even as a horny teen, I never did it more than once in a day and never every day. From 23 until I was 30, I did it once or twice a month just for maintenance. (I'm not counting mutual masturbation with girlfriends.) But after lockdown ended I was still stuck in my apartment by myself a lot and began doing it for long periods of time almost every day. Which led me to join online communities like these and find a comfort I'd never had with all of my desires and urges because they're gonna be there anyway. And everyone's got 'em. So why care?

 

I also grew up desperate to find someone I could talk to about masturbation and how much I loved to masturbate. Interestingly, it has been easier to share with women than with men. And not just sex partners--I have several platonic female friends who are all well aware of my solo sex adventures. I have regaled them with detailed stories of my many masturbatory experiences--the unlikely places, risky times, getting caught, and so on. I love masturbation, and I hate that I still have to keep that hidden from most people (even people I otherwise trust).